House Spouses - Answer us!

[Rachel20]

Hi everyone,

If you had the chance to choose, would you pursue a work/career after a relationship or work as full time stay at home parent/homemaker?

The poll has six choices - it will be anonymous and you can only choose one.

Additionally what are your thoughts on being a house spouse? Should women only stay at home ... are they the primary care givers of children? Is a dual income necessary?

Your opinions would be interesting to read

 

[RickyZ]

It would be nice if we could get by on one paycheck, but given today's economic climate it more often requires two to get ahead.

 

[RickyZ]

Oh wait this is a singles poll and I'm married. Probably just blew the whole results thing

 

[BruceWayne]

My opinion is that I don't believe in house spouses. I think that two incomes is better and more logical than one, so whoever I marry will have to be in agreement with that.

 

[Messy]

My opinion is that I don't believe in house spouses. I think that two incomes is better and more logical than one, so whoever I marry will have to be in agreement with that.

No me neither. With small kids if some people want that for a few years I understand. I wouldn't do it though. No way.

 

[cinder]

I think it is a super effective Christian witness for a family to have a stay at home parent: the financial sacrifices you choose to make to live off on only one income are a powerful statement against the consumerism and materialism taking over modern culture. I would think the children are likely to feel more loved and have more stability (assuming a solid and functional marriage and not horribly dysfunctional parents) and they should certainly get more individual attention. It's also a huge statement on the value and importance of family. But there are also the risks of the house spouse starting to feel like their own needs and desires aren't as important as everyone else's and getting resentful about it. So I'd hugely support anyone who was trying to run their family with one stay at home parent (and I know a family that has 4 kids and has done this and talking with the Mom has taught me a lot about the difference between needs and wants), but I wouldn't automatically think less of those who can't or would choose not to make it work.

As for me, well I'm in my mid 30's without a guy on the horizon so the chances of me ever having to face the situation of "we're having a baby does one of us stay home with the baby or do we put the baby in daycare?" seems pretty remote. Should I get into a relationship, I wouldn't necessarily insist on both of us having full time jobs, but I know myself well enough to know that if it seemed like he got to do whatever he wanted while I had to be the responsible one to work and earn the money, I would start to resent it (and I wouldn't blame him if he felt the same way). So we'd probably have to talk a lot about what our values would be and how we as a couple would pursue and live out those values.

 

[MollyConnor]

I wanna be like June Cleaver!

 

[zeroturbulence]

I would love to be a house husband. All my life I wanted a rewarding career or even just a job where I wasn't being taken advantage of, mistreated or neglected. Being a house husband would be a dream come true. I actually get satisfaction from cleaning/restoring/renewing stuff. And I can't stand it when things are messy. I used to stay up til 4 or 5am cleaning out my parent's garage.. I also insist on a spotless bathroom! Any ladies want to adopt me??

 

[melita916]

i always wanted to be a stay at home mom if the family could live on one paycheck.

 

[Mooky]

I think that working from home can be a good compromise.

 

[Lynx]

The poll is missing one choice:

"Beats the stuffins out of me. IF I ever find him/her, we'll discuss it."

 

[Hellooo]

I am all about that DINK life, no interest in having kids.

 

[Ugly]

Well, much of the 'need' for two incomes stems from having more 'necessities'. If a family were to cut out cable/satellite, expensive cell phones and plans and other such expenses, a one person income is much more feasible. But modern takes on 'needs' means below poverty level, or even homeless, have cell phones. People at food banks sitting on their iphones, etc... And yes, i have seen this first hand. And keep in mind i'm saying this in context of the affordability of a single income family. Not as a general comment about society.

 

[Messy]

Two part time jobs is ideal or a wealthy old man and we both sit on our lazy ass and hire a maid. That would be most ideal.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I am all about that DINK life, no interest in having kids.

What is a DINK life?

 

[Hellooo]

Slang for a couple who doesn't have children...dual income, no kids.

 

[RickyZ]

One thing to keep in mind is that the average worker hasn't seen an effective raise since the mid 80's (meaning buying power has remained flat). Prices, however, have continued to climb. According to dollartimes.com, what cost $1 in 1985 now costs $2.26 in 2016. So just to keep what you had in '85 now requires 2 incomes.

 

[Dino246]

I did some rough calculations a while back... supporting a wife who did not work (and who was not "high maintenance") would make little net difference to my income, because of the way tax laws work in Canada. That would make having a "housewife" financially possible, but not preferable. I think she'd go stir-crazy pretty quickly.

 

[Hellooo]

Working isn't always necessarily about the income. Some people just need something else to do, or wish to serve a need, or have a passion they pursue with or without children. I have a friend who was a full time stay at home mom/navy wife who transitioned to working part time because while she loved her children, she just missed talking with adults.

 

[Rosesrock]

Just putting my married two cents in here.
When we married my hub said he didn't want me to work. He said I could do any hobby I wanted but he didn't want us dependent on two paychecks because when the kids came he wanted me to stay home which was what I wanted. Home and committed to homeschooling.
He worked hourly jobs for years before getting salaried. We budgeted and never could save but God was gracious and we were blessed. We tithed and did the best we could. He always worked very hard to get to the next step. I'm super proud of him. A wonderful provider and has taught out children an awesome work ethic.
While schooling the kids I started my online studies for what I do now. I've never worked fulltime till I was down to one kid. I still work very part time and don't count my income in the budget so it's saved. Hub was just promoted and given a huge increase in pay and we're supporting missionaries as a family not through out church as before.
God has been so very good to us. My suggest is to seek the Lord's will and recognize roles as they were in the bible. We have the book for a reason.