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How do we as single women prepare for marriage? For so long I've heard single women say that they're waiting to be found by "Mr. Right". But I think that it's just as important to BECOME the right one as it is to be found by the right one. I think sometimes as single women (myself included) we become so infatuated with the idea of our dream guy coming and sweeping us off our feet that we forget that in order to be found we have to first become WORTHY of being found. As a single woman I often reevaluate my life and sometimes take inventory on where I am, and where I should be according to where God has purposed me to go. So I decided to create a list of five ways to know if I'm not really ready for marriage for myself and for my sisters in order for us to be everything that our future mate needs! ENJOY!
1. SOUL TIES (of course this would be number one) I believe that in order to successfully move forward we have to first allow God to deliver us from any ungodly soul ties that may get in the way of us having a healthy relationship with our mate. How do I know if I still have an ungodly soul tie? If you still think about past experiences with the person whether it be sexual or not sexual in nature then it's definitely a soul tie! Or here's another one......if you're constantly making the person you're with now pay for what the last man did to you then you're dealing with a soul tie. Until you allow God to heal you from what the last person did you will never be able to be happy even if this person is who God sent to find you. The only way to be delivered from a soul tie is to allow God to take you through a healing and deliverance process BEFORE you even consider marriage. In fact I would go as far as to even say that you shouldn't even be dating if you're not delivered yet (I mean you are dating to marry right?)
2. If you're constantly holding him to the standard of being what your father never was. For me, this has got to be the most common thing that I've seen among single women. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a single woman use men to fill the void of not having a father. In fact I use to be one of them! It wasn't until I got saved and God showed me that that's what I was doing that I realized that not having a father growing up really did affect me. I realized that I'm not ready for marriage if I'm trying to force him to be to me what my father never was to me. It's unfair to him to hold him to that standard just because I'm broken. Ladies, he wasn't created to be your savior! He was created to be your partner!
3. If you haven't learned to be CONTENT in your singleness. Some people say that marriage is two halves coming together to make a whole but I believe that it should be two WHOLE people coming together to make a healthy union. A part of being whole is learning to be content and knowing who you are even if you don't have a man to tell you how beautiful or how great you are every single day. Can you honestly say that you love who you are or know who you are without someone having to constantly remind you? If the only time you feel beautiful or worthy is when you're dating or when someone else notices you then you're not ready for marriage! How can we as women be of any help to our husbands if we don't even know who we are?
4. If you haven't learned the value and the beauty of true submission you're not ready for marriage! The Bible admonishes wives in Ephesians 5:22 to SUBMIT to your husbands as if you're submitting to God! If you believe that you can just do what you want to do and you're constantly reminding him of how much you don't really need him because you're an independent woman then you're definitely NOT ready for marriage! It's nothing wrong with having your own but there is a such thing as being TOO INDEPENDENT! If you have everything taking care of what do you need a husband for? Men were created to take the lead! It's ok to step back and allow him to be in control! Submission isn't weakness but STRENGTH! Your submission to God in your singleness will prepare you for submission to your husband in marriage!
5. If you haven't learned to value yourself enough to keep yourself covered up for your husband and him alone you're not ready for marriage! What you do and how you behave in your singleness is preparing you for how you will behave in marriage! Ladies, no man (well at least a GODLY man) is going to want to marry you if he sees that you're constantly showing everyone on social media and everywhere else your body. Truthfully, men determine whether or not you're marriage material by how you present yourself. While half naked women might catch their eyes in the flesh, it's going to be the one with some respect and class that's going to minister to and captivate their Spirit! I don't believe that it's anything more attractive and inspiring than a woman who knows her worth and value enough to carry herself with integrity and respect!
So ladies, after reading these five things are you REALLY ready to take his last name? What I love about God's process is that it's ok to admit that I'm not ready because it's where we're still trying to figure some things out that true process and preparation comes in! God can't prepare us for something that we THINK we're already prepared for!
Thank you all for reading!!!! Love you all SO MUCH!!!!!!
1. SOUL TIES (of course this would be number one) I believe that in order to successfully move forward we have to first allow God to deliver us from any ungodly soul ties that may get in the way of us having a healthy relationship with our mate. How do I know if I still have an ungodly soul tie? If you still think about past experiences with the person whether it be sexual or not sexual in nature then it's definitely a soul tie! Or here's another one......if you're constantly making the person you're with now pay for what the last man did to you then you're dealing with a soul tie. Until you allow God to heal you from what the last person did you will never be able to be happy even if this person is who God sent to find you. The only way to be delivered from a soul tie is to allow God to take you through a healing and deliverance process BEFORE you even consider marriage. In fact I would go as far as to even say that you shouldn't even be dating if you're not delivered yet (I mean you are dating to marry right?)
2. If you're constantly holding him to the standard of being what your father never was. For me, this has got to be the most common thing that I've seen among single women. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a single woman use men to fill the void of not having a father. In fact I use to be one of them! It wasn't until I got saved and God showed me that that's what I was doing that I realized that not having a father growing up really did affect me. I realized that I'm not ready for marriage if I'm trying to force him to be to me what my father never was to me. It's unfair to him to hold him to that standard just because I'm broken. Ladies, he wasn't created to be your savior! He was created to be your partner!
3. If you haven't learned to be CONTENT in your singleness. Some people say that marriage is two halves coming together to make a whole but I believe that it should be two WHOLE people coming together to make a healthy union. A part of being whole is learning to be content and knowing who you are even if you don't have a man to tell you how beautiful or how great you are every single day. Can you honestly say that you love who you are or know who you are without someone having to constantly remind you? If the only time you feel beautiful or worthy is when you're dating or when someone else notices you then you're not ready for marriage! How can we as women be of any help to our husbands if we don't even know who we are?
4. If you haven't learned the value and the beauty of true submission you're not ready for marriage! The Bible admonishes wives in Ephesians 5:22 to SUBMIT to your husbands as if you're submitting to God! If you believe that you can just do what you want to do and you're constantly reminding him of how much you don't really need him because you're an independent woman then you're definitely NOT ready for marriage! It's nothing wrong with having your own but there is a such thing as being TOO INDEPENDENT! If you have everything taking care of what do you need a husband for? Men were created to take the lead! It's ok to step back and allow him to be in control! Submission isn't weakness but STRENGTH! Your submission to God in your singleness will prepare you for submission to your husband in marriage!
5. If you haven't learned to value yourself enough to keep yourself covered up for your husband and him alone you're not ready for marriage! What you do and how you behave in your singleness is preparing you for how you will behave in marriage! Ladies, no man (well at least a GODLY man) is going to want to marry you if he sees that you're constantly showing everyone on social media and everywhere else your body. Truthfully, men determine whether or not you're marriage material by how you present yourself. While half naked women might catch their eyes in the flesh, it's going to be the one with some respect and class that's going to minister to and captivate their Spirit! I don't believe that it's anything more attractive and inspiring than a woman who knows her worth and value enough to carry herself with integrity and respect!
So ladies, after reading these five things are you REALLY ready to take his last name? What I love about God's process is that it's ok to admit that I'm not ready because it's where we're still trying to figure some things out that true process and preparation comes in! God can't prepare us for something that we THINK we're already prepared for!
Thank you all for reading!!!! Love you all SO MUCH!!!!!!
