I do not want to get married. Is there something wrong with me?

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Legryphon

Guest
#1
#1
I am a Christian woman who is almost half way to fifty and I have no desire to get married. Some of my family members think I am weird, and I feel like I will let them down if I don't get married. They keep telling me I am going to be sad and alone the rest of my life if I don't.

Has as anyone else on here been through this?
I feel like I am being selfish and sinning by not wanting to date or get married.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#2
#2
It sounds like the option isn't even on the table now from your post, but if you don't want to, dont.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#3
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
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Georgia
#3
Nope. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to. Marriage isn't for everyone.
 
L

Legryphon

Guest
#4
#4
Yeah, I guess I should not even worry about it. Thanks for replying!
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
You're lucky, if anything. Most people are obsessed with getting married and make so many bad choices because of it. If you have no desire i wouldn't say anything is wrong with you. I'd say i wish i could feel that way, actually.''

But the whole 'almost halfway to fifty' hahahaha. That was an interesting way of saying 24.
 
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TexasAmn

Guest
#6
#6
AHHHHH!. Your going to die alone..lol
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
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#8
Many see marriage as the endgame. They see it as a goal to be attained, and then your life will be all roses and fluffy white clouds and chocolate covered strawberries. So when you have a better perspective - and it seems you do - they don't understand it. "What? Why would you NOT want to get married?!"


Multiple people have asked me something like that. They will talk about why don't I have a girlfriend, what am I doing with my life, "don't you want to get married?" Those are their exact words, "don't you want to get married?" I reply, "No I don't want to get married because I don't know a lady I want to marry. Now if I happen to meet a lady and we get along great and start dating, then this will change and I will probably at that time want to get married. But marriage is not an end unto itself for me."
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#10
#10
My google skills have left me, but there is something in the bible (by Paul?) about it being best for a man to remain single
(and to marry only if he can't .... control himself)
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
24,896
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#11
It's in 1 Corinthians, chapter 7.

[SUP]7 [/SUP]For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#12
Aug 2, 2009
24,579
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#12
Legryphon said:
I am a Christian woman who is almost half way to fifty and I have no desire to get married. Some of my family members think I am weird, and I feel like I will let them down if I don't get married. They keep telling me I am going to be sad and alone the rest of my life if I don't.

Has as anyone else on here been through this?
I feel like I am being selfish and sinning by not wanting to date or get married.
Click to expand...
At the age you're at now (under 25), deciding that you don't want to get married is a fairly easy decision... but when you hit 30's and 40's, every time you go to a family or social gathering you'll find that everybody's talking about their life with their spouse and their kids... Also, when you start seeing your friends getting married and having kids you start to feel some peer pressure.

And, I've read that when married couples go out with other married couples they don't tend to invite their single friend/s. Probably because single people can't relate when they talk about their kids or life with their spouse. I mean what can a single person say about little Johnny not doing well in math, or how Bob and Jenny have been trying to have a baby.... The married world and the single world are like two separate universes..

But of course there's advantages to remaining single too.. personal freedom being one of them. I'm just giving you a little bit of a heads up about what it's like to be older and still single. :rolleyes:
 
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AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#13
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
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#13
The choice is always ours. Deciding whether or not each choose was foolish or wise, right or wrong...belongs to God. Everything in life is a choice, or the result of one.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#14
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
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#14
there is nothing wrong with not wanting to get married.

now, my personal opinion is as long as the root of that desire is a healthy one, then there's nothing wrong with it. what do i mean? for a while, i didn't want to get married because i was bitter, which of course meant i wasn't ready for a relationship to begin with.
 
S

Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#16
#16
Legryphon said:
...I have no desire to get married.
Click to expand...
Likewise. As long as you're okay with it, then roll with it. Maybe someday we'll feel the sting or the itch, or whatever, and then reconsider. For now, just enjoy your life.
 
R

Rachel20

Senior Member
#17
May 7, 2013
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#17
[video=youtube;0rbMHLDY1pA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rbMHLDY1pA[/video]
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#18
May 25, 2015
6,119
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#18
Legryphon said:
I am a Christian woman who is almost half way to fifty and I have no desire to get married. Some of my family members think I am weird, and I feel like I will let them down if I don't get married. They keep telling me I am going to be sad and alone the rest of my life if I don't.

Has as anyone else on here been through this?
I feel like I am being selfish and sinning by not wanting to date or get married.
Click to expand...
"Half way to 50?" Meaning, 24-25? If so, I've never heard of a 24-25 year old woman refer to herself being half way to 50.

Regardless of where you stand on marriage, it's totally fine that you don't have a desire to be married.

And whenever anyone gets married, it's not for other people. You said, "I feel like I will let them down if I don't get married." If you're going to get married to please other people, then you're getting married for the wrong reason.

You do you! If you don't want to be married, that's completely fine.
 
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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#19
May 23, 2009
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#19
Legryphon,

If it's any consolation, I ALMOST AM 50... and I'm not married. Not even close.

I've learned the hard way that life doesn't require marriage to go on.

If that's not what's in your heart, don't let other people try to convince you that what may seem normal to THEM is also normal for YOU.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#20
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
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#20
Legryphon said:
I am a Christian woman who is almost half way to fifty and I have no desire to get married. Some of my family members think I am weird, and I feel like I will let them down if I don't get married. They keep telling me I am going to be sad and alone the rest of my life if I don't.

Has as anyone else on here been through this?
I feel like I am being selfish and sinning by not wanting to date or get married.
Click to expand...
Don't worry about it, Jesus didn't get married either.. If you don't want a family (kids), then marriage isn't necessary. Many people marry because they're afraid of being alone, it scares the heck out of them. But getting married to alleviate that insecurity can be worse than remaining single. You are weird because your bucking the norm, but never feel like your letting family down. They might be sad if they remained single, but that doesn't mean you will. I've seen happy single people go to being sad married people, marriage is no guarantee of happiness, in fact it can turn into a nightmare. Love should be the deciding factor, one day you may meet someone that you want to be with all the time and your feelings may change, but until/unless that happens, resist the pressure of getting hitched just for the sake of being married... jmo

 
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