If I had a nickel everytime someone said...

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ntw1103

Guest
#1
Many times, I've heard someone say, "If I had a nickel every time someone said X" where X is something they think people say too often, and I've always found the phrase to be interesting. Sometimes, I even come across things, and thing the same line.
So, As my first thread(unless my memory was wiped and I don't remember one I created(in which case you should beware the government)) I'd like to try this.
Start out with "If I had a nickel everytime someone said... " and finish it with something you've thought of, or heard someone say.

As a starter:

If I had a nickel everytime someone said... "This is not a dating site" I'd be rich!

:]
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#2
If I had a nickel for every time someone said "I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said..."
>u>
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#3
Ya beat me to it by 7 minutes.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
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#4
Can I please just start a speech tax and anytime anyone says anything to me they have to pay me a nickel?
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#5
Can I please just start a speech tax and anytime anyone says anything to me they have to pay me a nickel?
Yes, but it only applies to career politicians and lawyers.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,910
8,163
113
#6
If I had a nickel for every time someone said "I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said..."
>u>
AAARGH! I was thinking it when I read the title! Not even the OP, just the TITLE made me think of this, but crosstweed got it first!

*sigh*
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
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#7
....every time someone says black lives matter or all lives matter.
 

NotmebutHim

Senior Member
May 17, 2015
2,919
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#8
......We're cheaper than the other guys!!!!!
 

Descyple

Senior Member
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#9
If I had a nickel everytime someone told me to stop telling my jokes................. I would use that money to buy a portable laugh track so at least it would sound as though my jokes are funny!!!

P.S. I am not stopping anytime soon, so keep your nickels to yourselves. However I do accept cheques!!!
 
G

GaryA

Guest
#11
P.S. I am not stopping anytime soon, so keep your nickels to yourselves. However I do accept cheques!!!
"Who would write you a check that was only worth a nickel???" :confused: hahahahaha ;)

:)
 

Sac49

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2016
582
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#12
I am short only 5 foot tall

If i had a nickle for every time someone said "wow your short" i would shove it up their nose
 
Sep 6, 2013
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#13
If I had a nickel for every time someone said to me "Hey, you should be a tattoo artist"... I'd be rich. I'll let you guys just wonder about that for a while. :p
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#14
If I had a nickel for every time I started an earnest prayer and then fell asleep...
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,910
8,163
113
#16
I am short only 5 foot tall

If i had a nickle for every time someone said "wow your short" i would shove it up their nose
Wow you're... right! :cool:

This one guy played bass tuba, and every time someone saw him lugging it up and down stairs they all said the same thing. "I bet you wish you played the piccolo." (Or flute, or some other small instrument.) And nobody ever stopped to think that everybody else had said the same thing. From him I learned to stop and think about the kind of thing people would always say in a situation, and then try to not say it.


Speaking of obvious things... If I had a nickel for every time somebody I know has named a black cat "Midnight" or a white cat "Snowball" I would use all that money to move to a place where they are more creative. Our pets have always had real names - Carlyle, Maxwell, Tiger Lily (that was my sister's doing) Hugo, Sam, Dan...
 

Addison

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2014
1,028
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#17
​If I had a nickel every time a girl thought I was ugly, I'd be attractive by now.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,910
8,163
113
#18
​If I had a nickel every time a girl thought I was ugly, I'd be attractive by now.
Yeah, money has that effect...

"I wish I was married
To old Miss Muldoney
She's ugly as sin
But has beautiful money"
 
C

crosstweed

Guest
#19
Wow you're... right! :cool:

This one guy played bass tuba, and every time someone saw him lugging it up and down stairs they all said the same thing. "I bet you wish you played the piccolo." (Or flute, or some other small instrument.) And nobody ever stopped to think that everybody else had said the same thing. From him I learned to stop and think about the kind of thing people would always say in a situation, and then try to not say it.


Speaking of obvious things... If I had a nickel for every time somebody I know has named a black cat "Midnight" or a white cat "Snowball" I would use all that money to move to a place where they are more creative. Our pets have always had real names - Carlyle, Maxwell, Tiger Lily (that was my sister's doing) Hugo, Sam, Dan...

We've got cats named Protocol, Turd-Blossom, Spotted Pork, and Dropsy, to name a few...
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#20
If I had a nickel .... it would cost me more to exchange it than the value of the coin, so I'd let you keep it :p