thoughts on modesty...

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

NukePooch

Guest
#41
#41
wwjd_kilden said:
Well, I don't wear clothes that are "painted on" , but the problem is that those are the only ones that look "formal"
and, being short, I have to rull up about half the leg of the jeans to have them fit lengthwise if they fit at the waist :D
Click to expand...


I'm tall, but I have short legs, as I'm built like a gorilla...so I end up hemming all of my pants because they're too long. I feel your pain. It's also why I end up having to buy shirts online because nothing in local stores fit...then have to reorder online because what was sent to me still isn't the right size...Just the joys of not looking like Brad Pitt.
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#42
#42
NukePooch said:
I'm tall, but I have short legs, as I'm built like a gorilla...so I end up hemming all of my pants because they're too long. I feel your pain. It's also why I end up having to buy shirts online because nothing in local stores fit...then have to reorder online because what was sent to me still isn't the right size...Just the joys of not looking like Brad Pitt.
Click to expand...
Maybe we should start a brand for for short- legged people :p
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#43
#43
EarnestQ said:
For years I have told myself that the "standards of public modesty" should be "don't show what you don't want strangers to touch in that situation".

If a woman is wearing a plunging neckline, she is inviting every man who sees her to touch the part of her body she is showing off (at least with his eyes). Let's face it, revealing any part of your body to others is "showing off" that part of your body.

That is where business clothes come in. It is inappropriate to show off ones body in a corporate business context. (Instead, people show off their financial status - but that is a different thread...)

In the context of a beach, attendance there is voluntary and "showing off" ones body is, unfortunately, a part of the non-Christian mindset. Those who go to a beach are aware of what they are immersing themselves in, whether they approve it or not. This includes going to a "tops optional" beach.

Nevertheless, it is "my suggestion" that those Christian women who visit a beach take into consideration "my preference" of not showing what they don't want "me" to touch.

But, since I have never before verbalized this preference, I don't hold them accountable to follow it. It is just my preference. Ditto in church, or anywhere else. I can't control them.

I just wish they realized that by showing off parts of their body, they are forcing me to touch it with my eyes.
Click to expand...
Not for nothing, but I'm not wearing a burka because you're around. I don't want you touching me at all. I don't like anyone touching me, but hubby. At best, I'll take it from doctors, or if someone is tapping me on the back to get my attention. If you are touching me with your eyes, expect me to "touch" you with my knee or elbow. I'm just that kind of gal. (Ask hubby, who surprised me once with a pat when we ran into each other at a convenience store.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#44
#44
OwzK said:
I TOTALLY agree

I have had this problem and see it as a problem nowadays too. See women, and men wearing seducive clothing and clothing that shows off their a55 and stuff. They SAY they do it for comfort, but real reason is lust and to find a mate.

This is something I like about the muslims, muslim women have to wear those big similar to nun dresses. The muslims say that the reason why they wear that is so people don't look lust at them or get any lustful thoughts. I admire that and like that way of thinking, see there is NOTHING sexual about that and when you see a woman wearing that, you just don't think lust thoughts.

But if you see a woman wearing some VERY tight yoga pants, super tight jeans, bikini, push up bras and showing cleavage... it's ridiculous and the complete opposite. SO MANY women deny they do this for attention and say "cos it's comfortable", but the real reason is cos they want people to get lust thoughts looking at them. Compare those women to the women in that muslim dress thing that shows nothing. That muslim dress thing is modest and hides all the sexual parts, modern and clothing that normal females wear everyday IS seducive and causes people to lust. I'd like, as a Christian, that maybe there would be some form of modest clothing in our religion too, to stop this causing of lust.
Click to expand...
Burkas do not stop lust. And, no, I don't admire it when a woman is forced into wearing uncomfortable clothes so men can pretend they don't lust.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#45
#45
wwjd_kilden said:
Here is a problem I find.

I hate to dress girly (skirt and blouse)
The wast majority of nice blouses are tight (VERY tight), if they are not, they are so loose they look shabby.
Most skirts are fairly short, and they are (almost) always synthetic and way to cold to wear during Norwegian winters.

If I am to wear the stereotypical (from my parents generation) church clothes, what the stores offer are cold, tight, short clothes. Not very modest is it?

Or I could wear pants and a t- shirt. ... but if the pants are to look somewhat neat, once again, all I can choose are tight pants. (I prefer baggy ones, but again, they look very .... releaxed... not the stereotypical getting dressed for church).

I remember arguing with my parents because I hate "nice clothes", and would rather wear the baggy, worn ones to church.

How can one be modest when there are few modest clothes that the "church crowd" find "nice enough"?
Click to expand...
Find a church that isn't judging your clothes? Seems the reasonable thing to me.
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#46
#46
Depleted said:
I wouldn't wear a one-piece in church, at work, or in a grocery store either, so should I be wearing long pants, and a collar shirt all the time? I can't see how that would be comfortable in water. And, man! Drying off is going to take forever!
Click to expand...

Like I said above...shorts and t-shirt...
Ladies' one-piece covers a whole lot more than a bikini....but if you wouldn't wear it outside of a public beach, then why are you comfortable wearing it AT a public beach?

But, you could wear a business suit to swim in if you'd like..?
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#47
#47
wwjd_kilden said:
Maybe we should start a brand for for short- legged people :p
Click to expand...

As long as you extend it to include all waist sizes to include us fat guys, I'm in. :cool:

We could call it 'Newnormal'?
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#48
#48
Depleted said:
Find a church that isn't judging your clothes? Seems the reasonable thing to me.
Click to expand...

it was mainly my parents (when I was a teen). kinda hard to switch them. :p
but in general, in most churches, you will see people in their "sunday best", which is just too uncomfortable to me
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#49
#49
wwjd_kilden said:
it was mainly my parents (when I was a teen). kinda hard to switch them. :p
but in general, in most churches, you will see people in their "sunday best", which is just too uncomfortable to me
Click to expand...

Try to wear a tie (noose)... ugh. Or a tux. Little known fact about me: I say that I never want to get married...but it's actually because I don't want to wear a tux again. Pure torture, that.

What I've found that works for me is to be a sound/light/video tech...techs are always in demand at churches, so I can wear whatever...as long as I make 'em sound good, they don't worry that I have the fashion sense of a blind hermit.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#50
#50
cinder said:
Especially if you are a skinnier woman (a problem I don't have) tight clothes that show off your body are about your only option for nice clothes. That's more her point, that modest clothes can be incredibly hard to find and buy for some women.
Click to expand...
If your clothes are tight, go up a size.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#51
#51
NukePooch said:
Try to wear a tie (noose)... ugh. Or a tux. Little known fact about me: I say that I never want to get married...but it's actually because I don't want to wear a tux again. Pure torture, that.

What I've found that works for me is to be a sound/light/video tech...techs are always in demand at churches, so I can wear whatever...as long as I make 'em sound good, they don't worry that I have the fashion sense of a blind hermit.
Click to expand...
Fashion-sense of a blind hermit! That made me seriously lol. I'm gonna steal the term :D
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#52
#52
Depleted said:
If your clothes are tight, go up a size.
Click to expand...
Not all can.
If they fit my waist (don't fall down :p ), some are still tight round the thighs and calves, even though I am not chubby,
I think many of the clothes sold here are made for very tall, very skinny people.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#53
#53
Many of the comments on this thread are very much about approving of what others wear. Who are we that we think we have that right? I do check people out sometimes because of their clothes, but usually it's "I wish I could wear that" or "Man! I'm glad I'm not wearing that." (Men's suits in summertime complete with buttoned-up shirts and ties? Who makes people wear that stuff? It's just too hot! High heels? OUCH!) I've even gone up to people to ask them where they bought that, because I want to get one too. (Got upset that a young man slipped down an alley before I caught up with him. He was wearing new shortalls! Men can buy them? Where? I'll go there if I can get a new pair. lol)

But bikinis? I don't care if someone goes for it. Tight clothes? Either the person likes the look or they can't afford more clothes now that they gained some weight. Around here, I've seen tight clothes more often on the 300+ pound crowd then the young. Plunging necklines? Beyonce looks good. I wish I could do that, and I know I still wouldn't even if I could, because it's not me.

Why does modesty seem to have a built-in clause that says we are to all judge how others look? If we don't like it, don't do it. If it offends, look away. OR, better yet, get over yourself!
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#54
#54
NukePooch said:
Like I said above...shorts and t-shirt...
Ladies' one-piece covers a whole lot more than a bikini....but if you wouldn't wear it outside of a public beach, then why are you comfortable wearing it AT a public beach?

But, you could wear a business suit to swim in if you'd like..?
Click to expand...
I don't wear it in church, at work, or in a grocery store, because that's THEIR dress codes! If left to my choices, I'd be barefoot 365 a year, but I can't because of dress codes. (And don't laugh too hard. My brother ran 365 days a year in barefeet and he lives in Virginia, so I could tell my brother ran there by the barefoot prints in the snow. lol)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#55
#55
wwjd_kilden said:
it was mainly my parents (when I was a teen). kinda hard to switch them. :p
but in general, in most churches, you will see people in their "sunday best", which is just too uncomfortable to me
Click to expand...
If I could go to church, I'm still stuck in either overalls or shortalls. If everyone stares at me, I'm first going to check if toilet paper is trailing behind me, and if it's not, I'm walking out before even sitting down.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#56
#56
NukePooch said:
Try to wear a tie (noose)... ugh. Or a tux. Little known fact about me: I say that I never want to get married...but it's actually because I don't want to wear a tux again. Pure torture, that.

What I've found that works for me is to be a sound/light/video tech...techs are always in demand at churches, so I can wear whatever...as long as I make 'em sound good, they don't worry that I have the fashion sense of a blind hermit.
Click to expand...
Go for a casual wedding. :)

(My brother was barefoot for his wedding too. lol)
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#57
#57
Depleted said:
Go for a casual wedding. :)

(My brother was barefoot for his wedding too. lol)
Click to expand...

LOL...it's rarely ever the guy's choice what he gets to wear for a wedding, regardless of what he is told...
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#58
#58
wwjd_kilden said:
Not all can.
If they fit my waist (don't fall down :p ), some are still tight round the thighs and calves, even though I am not chubby,
I think many of the clothes sold here are made for very tall, very skinny people.
Click to expand...
Tall clothes over here are made for tall and overweight. Since my inseam is 32 inches, surely my waist has to be 60 inches.

I used to know how to tuck a waistline under a belt really well. Sometimes skipping up to two loops. (Just starting on my own back then, so seamstress was a luxury. Good strong belt, a necessity. lol)

Now, I go with shortalls, so what holds them up are the straps. I've lost 50 pounds in the last three years, but shortalls are trendy, and they aren't trending now. When we went to a doctor's appointment the other day, I caught my first full-length view of myself in decades through the glass door. Man! I suddenly look like skinny-chick-in-sackcloth. BUT, the straps don't make me do the full-monty, so all is good. lol

I really would like a seamstress now. Someone to make shortalls that look like a woman, not a man. Still can't afford one, but I'm thinking when I get more time to finally pull out my aunt's old sewing machine and have someone teach me how to use it. I'm crafty enough to know I can make my own pattern, but unmechanical enough to know I can't figure out how to fill that lower bobbin. (And doing it by hand takes too long. And that's from experience. lol)

If manufacturers won't cater to us, why can't we cater to ourselves?

Another suggestion. Have you been watching the Olympics? Notice the athletes? Many of the women have bottom-halves that look like men's body builders, while the top half is thinner than most upscale models. Someone is clothing them? And, they're Olympians, so not necessarily professional athletes. Go look in athletic stores. No, I'm sure you're not looking for spandex, but I am sure you'll see other customers that are built -- good shape, but not scrawny. Talk to them and ask where they get their clothes.

And, if you're the type who doesn't like going up to strangers, consider this -- how much have you given thought of the last stranger that came to you to ask you a question? I'm the type that does ask, because I know most people will forget me in five minutes or less. And if they don't? Well, they won't be tracking me down over asking, "Where did you get buy that?" lol
 
N

NukePooch

Guest
#59
#59
Depleted said:
If I could go to church, I'm still stuck in either overalls or shortalls. If everyone stares at me, I'm first going to check if toilet paper is trailing behind me, and if it's not, I'm walking out before even sitting down.
Click to expand...

Been there, done that...I don't go to those places either...however, there was the one church I went to where there were no standards...I saw quite a few 'Kill your mother' band shirts with expletive language and pentagrams and such... One singer was wearing ripped Daisy Dukes...
I thought I'd just wait and slip out at the end...but when the lesbians started making out in the row in front of me, I figured that was my clue that I'd been there way too long.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#60
#60
NukePooch said:
LOL...it's rarely ever the guy's choice what he gets to wear for a wedding, regardless of what he is told...
Click to expand...
It's the guy's choice on who he's marrying.

My dad is a millionaire and paid for it all. Our wedding cost @$800. (Back in 1980, but my brother's wedding two weeks early cost $25,000. Her father paid for that one.) My choice. ($70 for a wedding dress made by a friend's friend who was a seamstress. $150 for the cake. $400 for the photographer and pictures. $25 for the pastor. Plus two cases of champagne from Dad. And, Dad took home about a case and a half. lol We simply asked our friends to bring their favorite potluck dishes. The church had their own recipe book, so it wasn't a problem. lol)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.