Solitude without Loneliness

[1LonelyKnight]

I don't even think of myself as a "Christian Single" and worry that when we label ourselves something we identify with and become that thing - to our own and others detriment. (I understand the label here is for convenience and organization of a larger chat site - still it's a label).

I have read many posts about loneliness and 'why am I still single' and such like. I was moved to be concerned about this and did a little reading. I honestly haven't found a remedial article I can share that doesn't have a Buddhist or suffi or psychology based reasoning.

I share the following article to let others know you aren't alone in this and because it offers a modicum of understanding, and a little encouragement.

Please share your understanding of Solitude versus Loneliness along with any coping and remedial approaches.

OPEN THREAD - STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS, NO DEBATE, NO UNWELCOME POST AS LONG AS CIVIL

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1149242/Yes-loneliness-bad-health--YOU-cure-yourself.html

 

[Lynx]

I don't know about coping - I'm single but I'm not lonely. If I ever find Mrs. Right I'll be glad, but there's too much in life to waste time mourning what I don't have. But I see a lot of people doing just that, wasting big chunks of their lives worrying about "I don't have a wife/husband, I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend." I want to shake them and tell them to snap out of it and live life while they have it.

But it does seem odd, a username like 1LonelyKnight starting a thread like this...

 

[Tintin]

Says the one whose username is 1LonelyKnight. I don't mind being known as Tintin.

 

[1LonelyKnight]

Said in another thread - perhaps the screen name would be clearer as 1SolitaryKnight.

Just observing from other threads and after reading online, the extent and significance of the issue of loneliness.

What's at the root of it?

What is the remedy or prevention?

What does scripture say?

Are we all being enticed by the media and the world - so much ROMANce?

Are preachers and teachers and bosses merely pimps?

Is there an intellectual intercouse we are missing and falling to fornication - both physical and spiritual?

Any comments on the article? Any other info or ideas to share?

 

[Born_Again]

"Are preachers and teachers and bosses merely pimps?"

You must elaborate on this one LOL

 

[1LonelyKnight]

"Are preachers and teachers and bosses merely pimps?"

You must elaborate on this one LOL

Who is the head?

Do worldly authorities assume the power of God because of their office or station and the temporal and the sectarian/parochial 'authority' they have, using it for manipulation and control of others as empowerment to their office?

 

[Born_Again]

Who is the head?

Do worldly authorities assume the power of God because of their office or station and the temporal and the sectarian/parochial 'authority' they have, using it for manipulation and control of others as empowerment to their office?

Okay, I'm starting to track with you. Now, tie that in with being lonely so it makes sense.

 

[Angela_grace]

One thing I know us that God saw Adam and said that it was not good that he was alone. Then he made women.

 

[Born_Again]

One thing I know us that God saw Adam and said that it was not good that he was alone. Then he made women.

Because it was necessary for pro-creation. Paul also said it is best to be single, but if you cant control your sex drive, then you should get married.

 

[1LonelyKnight]

Okay, I'm starting to track with you. Now, tie that in with being lonely so it makes sense.

When worldly powers assume control (jurisdiction) over [a] person(s) not only is free will compromised, but an intervention occurs that goes from meddling to being a pimp. Persons in this situation tend not to be able to have personal relationships or withdraw from them because of this over-Lording. Though they may want to participate - because of the intervention, manipulation, control from outside the relationship, it becomes too difficult to sustain.

NO medals for meddlers.

verb (used without object),meddled, meddling.

1.to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation; interfere officiously and unwantedly. Stop meddling in my personal life!

dictionary.com/meddle

 

[Born_Again]

When worldly powers assume control (jurisdiction) over [a] person(s) not only is free will compromised, but an intervention occurs that goes from meddling to being a pimp. Persons in this situation tend not to be able to have personal relationships or withdraw from them because of this over-Lording. Though they may want to participate - because of the intervention, manipulation, control from outside the relationship, it becomes too difficult to sustain.

NO medals for meddlers.

verb (used without object),meddled, meddling.

1.to involve oneself in a matter without right or invitation; interfere officiously and unwantedly. Stop meddling in my personal life!

dictionary.com/meddle



Ohhhh, Okay. I understand now. I would not agree with your assertion but I do understand what you are saying. I thinks it just people wanting a fairy tale ending and its not that simple. If anything, as stated by another user, I think movies and such have a bigger impact on what a perceived happy ending should be therefor causing people to think its a reality.

Along with the above post "Its not good for man to be alone"... That is commonly misunderstood as a promise of marriage.

 

[1LonelyKnight]

Against Meddling:

1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 

[AuntieAnt]

Against Meddling:

1 Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

If you're genuinely "against meddling" in other people's affairs, why are you, who labeled yourself "Lonely" advising others not to label themselves lonely? And why are you suggesting to others they cannot have solitude and at the same time longing for a life companion? That's worldly wisdom, not of God. If being single in this world is what everyone should strive for, what a lonely world this would be. God didn't mean it to be so!

We’re called to be singleminded, that is, our minds on Christ Jesus rather than on our own philosophical understanding.

Paul desired to be single because he was 110% in ministry 24/7 and if he had a wife and children, how they would suffer knowing Paul was being beaten, persecuted, tortured, imprisoned, facing death continually! Paul believed a godly wife would grieve terribly for him and beg him to stop putting himself in danger all the time. Paul knew he might very well be persuaded to please her in that regard. Paul would NOT speak out of selfishness and ego, he was speaking out of compassion and love. He had a Christ-like attitude, not an egotistical man of the world attitude.

The title of your dailymail article is:
"Yes, loneliness is bad for your health - but only YOU can cure yourself"

That's not godly wisdom. As our sister stated above, "It's not good for man to be alone." God didn't create us to be isolated from one another. In addition, God did not create women for procreation only. Didn't you ever read Song of Solomon? If not, it's some really good reading. It's a better love story than Twilight! (Then again, what isn't?! ROFL!!)

And by the way, no woman is to ever put a husband above Christ. Even Christ himself never demands us to submit to him. Jesus woos our hearts by His Spirit and says, “If you walk this way…” NOT, "You must obey me! I'm the head! You are beneath me." He made himself of no reputation, he was meek and lowly of heart.

Any woman who is blessed with a godly husband who loves God and puts his own life aside to love and care for her doesn’t need to be manipulated or guilt-tripped into respecting and honoring him. Women absolutely respond to men who genuinely love them. Women recoil from bullies and self-righteous men who strong-arm them with religious tactics. I ought to know. I was on the board of directors for an anti-abuse organization and I represented women who were being physically and emotionally abused by religious leaders.

If you ever plan to marry, I suggest you study the scriptures about laying your life down for Christ.

I’ll bet the majority of the CC women here can name at least 5 men on this site whom we have no trouble looking up to as a godly authority and whom we feel safe in submitting to because we can easily discern their resource is Christ and they treat us women like true sisters. And by the same token, we recognize those men who lack godly wisdom by the way they try to guilt-trip and bully others with their foolish opinions and lift themselves up above women. (Contrary to what Jesus said, “Laying your life down.”)

By the way, DailyMail can’t compare to the truth that sets us free in Christ Jesus. God says if any lack wisdom, ask him for it and he will give it. He's faithful! He'll do it.

 

[Lynx]

Hitherto I had not clicked on that link and read the article. Is that what we are postulating here, that a person really should get married because being alone is bad for you? Balderdash!

I should also mention something I mention in most loneliness threads, that loneliness and boredom are very frequently confused. People often complain of being lonely when they are just bored. And many people who are genuinely lonely seek out a cure by doing things that would alleviate boredom, like going out to a club. The first step in finding a remedy for a problem is to identify the correct problem.

 

[AuntieAnt]

Hitherto I had not clicked on that link and read the article. Is that what we are postulating here, that a person really should get married because being alone is bad for you? Balderdash!

I should also mention something I mention in most loneliness threads, that loneliness and boredom are very frequently confused. People often complain of being lonely when they are just bored. And many people who are genuinely lonely seek out a cure by doing things that would alleviate boredom, like going out to a club. The first step in finding a remedy for a problem is to identify the correct problem.

I only read the title in Google. I won't click on the actual link in case of viruses or spam.

Being lonely ain't anything to feel guilty about. Even God rejoices in our fellowship with him! The real struggle is when we believe we're not worthy of love and give up hope.

Many people surrender to that lie and talk themselves out of ever having a life companion. The old "sour grapes" story.

Being single is a choice, wanting a life partner is a choice. Neither is a verdict or sentence. We can change our minds if we want to at any time. Many on this site are proof of that.

 

[zeroturbulence]

The link is legit. I read it. Its just a DailyMail article (a big british online news source).

 

[sassylady]

You can enjoy time alone with just yourself and not be lonely. It's not wrong to not want to be married.

You can be married and be super lonely. There was a time period when I was married when I was amazed at how lonely I was even when my husband was in the same room. When there's no connection with that person that is what happens. Being married or dating is not a guarantee at not being lonely.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

The loneliest I've ever been is when I was in relationships or around people regularly.

Now that I have my solitude for the most part, and can work from home when I get work, I am thrilled to have the time to myself to do as I please. I can't make solitude = loneliness. They are not equivalent statements in my world.

 

[JosiahUntoTheChrist]

a

If you're genuinely "against meddling" in other people's affairs, why are you, who labeled yourself "Lonely" advising others not to label themselves lonely? And why are you suggesting to others they cannot have solitude and at the same time longing for a life companion? That's worldly wisdom, not of God. If being single in this world is what everyone should strive for, what a lonely world this would be. God didn't mean it to be so!

We’re called to be singleminded, that is, our minds on Christ Jesus rather than on our own philosophical understanding.

Paul desired to be single because he was 110% in ministry 24/7 and if he had a wife and children, how they would suffer knowing Paul was being beaten, persecuted, tortured, imprisoned, facing death continually! Paul believed a godly wife would grieve terribly for him and beg him to stop putting himself in danger all the time. Paul knew he might very well be persuaded to please her in that regard. Paul would NOT speak out of selfishness and ego, he was speaking out of compassion and love. He had a Christ-like attitude, not an egotistical man of the world attitude.

The title of your dailymail article is:
"Yes, loneliness is bad for your health - but only YOU can cure yourself"

That's not godly wisdom. As our sister stated above, "It's not good for man to be alone." God didn't create us to be isolated from one another. In addition, God did not create women for procreation only. Didn't you ever read Song of Solomon? If not, it's some really good reading. It's a better love story than Twilight! (Then again, what isn't?! ROFL!!)

And by the way, no woman is to ever put a husband above Christ. Even Christ himself never demands us to submit to him. Jesus woos our hearts by His Spirit and says, “If you walk this way…” NOT, "You must obey me! I'm the head! You are beneath me." He made himself of no reputation, he was meek and lowly of heart.

Any woman who is blessed with a godly husband who loves God and puts his own life aside to love and care for her doesn’t need to be manipulated or guilt-tripped into respecting and honoring him. Women absolutely respond to men who genuinely love them. Women recoil from bullies and self-righteous men who strong-arm them with religious tactics. I ought to know. I was on the board of directors for an anti-abuse organization and I represented women who were being physically and emotionally abused by religious leaders.

If you ever plan to marry, I suggest you study the scriptures about laying your life down for Christ.

I’ll bet the majority of the CC women here can name at least 5 men on this site whom we have no trouble looking up to as a godly authority and whom we feel safe in submitting to because we can easily discern their resource is Christ and they treat us women like true sisters. And by the same token, we recognize those men who lack godly wisdom by the way they try to guilt-trip and bully others with their foolish opinions and lift themselves up above women. (Contrary to what Jesus said, “Laying your life down.”)

By the way, DailyMail can’t compare to the truth that sets us free in Christ Jesus. God says if any lack wisdom, ask him for it and he will give it. He's faithful! He'll do it.

Love it

 

[proverbs35]

Hitherto I had not clicked on that link and read the article. Is that what we are postulating here, that a person really should get married because being alone is bad for you? Balderdash!

I should also mention something I mention in most loneliness threads, that loneliness and boredom are very frequently confused. People often complain of being lonely when they are just bored. And many people who are genuinely lonely seek out a cure by doing things that would alleviate boredom, like going out to a club. The first step in finding a remedy for a problem is to identify the correct problem.

So true. A romantic relationship is not necessarily a cure for boredom. For example, a lot of married folks are bored with their marriages. That happens a lot, although it's something church folk rarely talk about or acknowledge.