Food for Thought

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JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
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#21
The Bible actually speaks against marriage. Show of hands - how many married people wish they had listened? :)

RickyZ
Not this one....lol Besides you did ask the question in the singles area....shouldn't be a big show of hands. lol Sorry Wisebeardman a married trespasses again....
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
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#22
I hear ya. I couldn't get a woman's attention if I was on fire outside a boarding house. So I settled. Better to be alone than to settle.
I was single for 35 years and at 59 managed to get a fellas attention not trying even encouraging him not to be so interested in me... So there may be hope for you yet... I mean really who wants an old 59 year old past menopause woman for some unknown reason Tourist did.... Even the day we got married I was still saying to him you can still back out.....lol
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
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#23
I don't have a problem with people choosing to be single. The problem for a lot of people though is that most of us are not meant to endure temptation for that long. And when you finally do get married, you have to do a lot of mental clearing out in order to just enjoy intercourse.

And the reason there's a lot of divorce is not just because of "no-fault" laws. It's also because people do not resolve in their minds to be with their spouses forever. We need to know that if they really love someone, we will be willing to remain with that person for life. That's also why a lot of people are rude to their spouses, because they think they can always file for divorce if they don't like this person.
Yep commitment is a dying virtue. And its loss is extremely damaging to both society and personal relationships. But 22 is awfully young to expect to be married already and having these complaints. So what's stirring this discontent up in you? And no God's way isn't too hard. The drama and heartache I've saved myself through obedience have me more than convinced that despite the challenges it's been the easier way by far.
 
Feb 20, 2016
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#24
I'm not complaining, I'm simply calling out the fact that the church is so worried about the state of marriage and yet they aren't doing much to help it out. My sister was younger than me when she was married and she's perfectly happy.

I'm not saying God's way is too hard either. What I am saying is that we shouldn't have to endure temptation without doing anything about it.

And despite having never been asked out once, I will say that in the last several years I've learned several important things about love I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise.
 
Mar 22, 2013
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Indiana
#25
myself, i am not going to worry about it, i'll be dead soon enough and then I won't care.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#28
I'm not complaining, I'm simply calling out the fact that the church is so worried about the state of marriage and yet they aren't doing much to help it out. My sister was younger than me when she was married and she's perfectly happy.

I'm not saying God's way is too hard either. What I am saying is that we shouldn't have to endure temptation without doing anything about it.

And despite having never been asked out once, I will say that in the last several years I've learned several important things about love I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise.
And which church, pray tell, are we calling out? Which church is "not doing much to help it out"? Which denomination? All of them? (There's more than a hundred kinds of Baptist churches alone...)

That's a pretty broad statement, saying "the church" doesn't do what it should to help single people get married. In my experience they do a lot. In fact they do too much sometimes, they can go overboard trying to play match maker. I'm not going to call them out for it though, because they mean well.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
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#29
well i should say I don't really care now. im just here to watch the world burn. i got my popcorn stocked.
I have decided wisebeardman is a secondary account of Oncefallen (with Robo's permission of course.) Oncefallen maintains this account just to throw in comments to stir the pot from time to time.

Gotta say you overplayed it this time bro. Your wisebeardman persona is supposed to be cranky, but now you made him downright nihilistic. :p
 
4

49

Guest
#30
I was single for 35 years and at 59 managed to get a fellas attention not trying even encouraging him not to be so interested in me... So there may be hope for you yet... I mean really who wants an old 59 year old past menopause woman for some unknown reason Tourist did.... Even the day we got married I was still saying to him you can still back out.....lol
Agreed. 59? That is antiquated. What ever was that fella thinking? Admit it...you spiked his drink, he committed, and you threatened to reveal that "thing" to everyone if he backed out.

Smart one you are ;).
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
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#31
And which church, pray tell, are we calling out? Which church is "not doing much to help it out"? Which denomination? All of them? (There's more than a hundred kinds of Baptist churches alone...)

That's a pretty broad statement, saying "the church" doesn't do what it should to help single people get married. In my experience they do a lot. In fact they do too much sometimes, they can go overboard trying to play match maker. I'm not going to call them out for it though, because they mean well.
Speaking of which.....My daughter is available now for sure and I love the area you live in would almost be willing to move that direction again... you know this match making thing did work for Auntieant and Melita with her son....just saying sometimes these things work out.... I have a pretty brunette 36 year old daughter who would kill me if she knew I was trying to match her up just about like when you threaten me with your blow torch or what not....lol..... More than willing to help you out....hummm maybe I'm just going for some homemade bread?.....lol

PS I really do mean well....for all parties involved or the lack of involvement....lol
 
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JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#32
Agreed. 59? That is antiquated. What ever was that fella thinking? Admit it...you spiked his drink, he committed, and you threatened to reveal that "thing" to everyone if he backed out.

Smart one you are ;).
No, the trick ladies, is to keep trying to push them away make them think they really want you...but you just keep giving them an out... Like your really don't want me right? I'm telling you, you should run... the other direction... Don't ask me why it worked I have no clue... I even laugh at myself now... telling him the day we got married.... You know you can still change your mind....lol
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#33
I know they say guys have cold feet about the get married thing. Tourist was the one plowing through to the alter so to speak and I was clawing myself away from it even to the last day, as why does this guy want me is he blind? What is wrong with him? Why does he have to be so nice, doesn't he know what he is getting himself into, doesn't he know I'm not the easiest person to live with?

Almost 2 years later I still shake my head and have asked him.... So do you regret it yet? lol He's been silent so at least there hasn't been a hearty yes to my question... I guess it's love real love.... I know I love him for putting up with me... 61 and old now.....lol
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#34
My church doesn't have any type of singles group. We're lucky when we have more than 20 people at worship. However we've had people meet there and eventually marry each other. I know one couple who got to know each other at Bible study. I don't think it takes a specific singles group to meet someone.
 
L

LiJo

Guest
#35
The OP has a point. The church is turning their back on singles, and singles out numberred married folks. If families are the focal point, then provide a ministry to reach out to singles and help them heal and prepare them for a healthy relationship/marriage.
 
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U

Ugly

Guest
#36
And which church, pray tell, are we calling out? Which church is "not doing much to help it out"? Which denomination? All of them? (There's more than a hundred kinds of Baptist churches alone...)

That's a pretty broad statement, saying "the church" doesn't do what it should to help single people get married. In my experience they do a lot. In fact they do too much sometimes, they can go overboard trying to play match maker. I'm not going to call them out for it though, because they mean well.
Actually it's not as this exact subject has come up numerous times with nearly everyone making the same complaint. So it's clearly the majority of churches. And it's not an issue of the church playing matchmaker but that most churches are focused on married couples and families and offer little to nothing for singles. I've heard countless sermons on being a parent, raising a family, roles of spouses. Can't think of a single one discussing wisdom for singles.
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,029
3,238
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#37
I have decided wisebeardman is a secondary account of Oncefallen (with Robo's permission of course.) Oncefallen maintains this account just to throw in comments to stir the pot from time to time.

Gotta say you overplayed it this time bro. Your wisebeardman persona is supposed to be cranky, but now you made him downright nihilistic. :p


I don't know if I should laugh or consider myself to be insulted............................either way, you're wrong.

 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
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#40
Actually it's not as this exact subject has come up numerous times with nearly everyone making the same complaint. So it's clearly the majority of churches. And it's not an issue of the church playing matchmaker but that most churches are focused on married couples and families and offer little to nothing for singles. I've heard countless sermons on being a parent, raising a family, roles of spouses. Can't think of a single one discussing wisdom for singles.
Come to my church. You'll hear messages for single people there. Maybe we're just different though. Or maybe it's the locale, maybe southern people are just different.


I don't know if I should laugh or consider myself to be insulted............................either way, you're wrong.

I do but jest. Even if you tried I don't think you could be THAT cynical.

But I can imagine someone - maybe not you, but some long-time member of the forum - who keeps a secondary account to make comments like wisebeardman's, so he can stir the pot without damaging his forum reputation. ;)