Talking

[Wug]

Hello folks,

Does anyone else find that it's easier to speak to non-Christian members of the opposite sex than it is to speak to Christian ones? And if so, why?

For me, I usually rely on a female to carry a conversation, and I can add to it as it continues. Christian women don't tend to do this as often.

Thoughts, opinions, advice from shy ladies on how to talk to your people, etc.

 

[MahogonySnail]

There's less for christian women to talk about.

 

[livingbygrace]

Well actually I did, but probably from a different perspective to you. When I became a Christian I had lived a very wayward life lets say. The church I belonged to at this time had no-one in it who had lived their life to such an extreme that I had. They had basically come from good Christian families and not much rebelled.
Therefore I found it difficult often to enter into conversation with them, this was very true of women. So I found it much easier to talk to women/or men who were not Christians. They had more lived as I had previously lived, and had a far greater empathy with the personality I had due to my previous life(I hope that makes sense)

 

[SilverSky]

I think honestly it just depends on the girl. If smart, outgoing, and really a true christian...girls like that are really easy to talk to. But for some reason rare!
Most of the christian girls that I've found are slightly more into being the "stuck-up christian", and as a result, are uninterested in talking to me.

Yes I'm not the 'perfect christian', nor will I ever claim to be. I've had struggles and I have faltered several times in my walk with God.
Because of it I've learned from my mistakes and have grown a more true and real relationship with God... 'who's been forgiven much loves much'

In that sense, it sometimes it easier to talk to a non-christian girl because she doesn't usually have that whole "ugly sinner" perspective of you.

But, my search continues for that christian girl... I have faith that God will lead me.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Hello folks,

Does anyone else find that it's easier to speak to non-Christian members of the opposite sex than it is to speak to Christian ones? And if so, why?

For me, I usually rely on a female to carry a conversation, and I can add to it as it continues. Christian women don't tend to do this as often.

Thoughts, opinions, advice from shy ladies on how to talk to your people, etc.

Why would you rely on a female to carry a conversation?? Perhaps the christian women you are trying to talk to get bored of always having to carry the conversation

 

[QuestionTime]

Hello folks,

Does anyone else find that it's easier to speak to non-Christian members of the opposite sex than it is to speak to Christian ones? And if so, why?

For me, I usually rely on a female to carry a conversation, and I can add to it as it continues. Christian women don't tend to do this as often.

Thoughts, opinions, advice from shy ladies on how to talk to your people, etc.

There was a woman from my old church a few years younger than me. She was 25 or so and I was 28. Anyway, she wouldn't shut up. I loved it!!!

I absolutely love when women talk more than I do. I love a woman who carries the conversation.

Quest

 

[sportygirl]

I like talking to both christian or non-christian guys, i mean i wont date non-christians so the types of conversatiosn are different, not that i would date every christian guy i talk to. When it comes to christian girls talking though, honestly with guy I dont like its a whole lot easier to talk, wiht guys I like though its harder cause i do like them, plus i dont want to always initiate conversation that gets extremely frustrating haha

 

[CatWoman]

I once read a book called"How to flert". I can't remember whos it by. It was a tastefull book on how to open up conversations with people. Like if you were at a party you might come up to someone you want to talk to and comment on how nice the decorations are. Or comment on the event your at. Pay a respectfull comment on how nice someone looks. Hey, even talk about the weather, sports and news. I know I may be getting off the subject for a little bit. I remember being in a church where I wish someone would come up to me and talk. Then I had a realization that other people were thinking the same thing. So I started to come up to people and started conversations with them. And a lot of people remember me as the first person they talked to when they went to that church. So get over being shy if you are. It's a terrible handicap.

 

[QuestionTime]

Then I had a realization that other people were thinking the same thing. So I started to come up to people and started conversations with them. And a lot of people remember me as the first person they talked to when they went to that church. So get over being shy if you are. It's a terrible handicap.

I think that Churches need to put more emphasis on greeting new people. Both sexes ought to approach new people en masse, in order to ensure they feel welcome. Otherwise people just attend a few times and disappear because they may not have the confidence to fit in. It's really criminal that Churches are like this and God will judge them. Jesus said leave the 99 and go after the 1, and that there is more rejoicing over 1 new convert than over 99 already converted.

Quest
​

 

[seoulsearch]

I think that Churches need to put more emphasis on greeting new people. Both sexes ought to approach new people en masse, in order to ensure they feel welcome. Otherwise people just attend a few times and disappear because they may not have the confidence to fit in. It's really criminal that Churches are like this and God will judge them. Jesus said leave the 99 and go after the 1, and that there is more rejoicing over 1 new convert than over 99 already converted.

Quest
​

I would have to agree with you 100%, Quest, in churches putting together some kind of organized effort to greet and get to know newcomers, as I have been going to a new church for over a year and have yet to make any friends... Sure, I could dive right in and throw myself into classes and volunteer work there, but part of the reason why I changed churches is because I was so heavily involved in my old church, I am trying to take a break from all those very things!! And while I've met some very nice people who say hi on Sunday... I have yet to make any friends.

I would love to find a guy who doesn't mind that I might talk a lot but I do get tired of one-sided conversation and love it when a guy brings up his own set of questions, ideas, hobbies, or tells me a story about his own life and experiences and then asks my thoughts.

There is, of course, the old standby of movies, TV, and popular culture ("Did you see that latest episode of 'The Biggest Loser'?" [then again, I take it back on this particular show--she may think you're hinting that she's fat!])

I myself have a bad habit of being very drawn to people who are either kind of worldly or else are not "militant" Christians (and therefore may not be able to correct me when I need it.) I struggle with whom I should or should not form close relationships or ties with--non or "less" Christian people appeal to me more because as someone stated before, they tend to be more open-minded and less judgmental.

I know if I'm talking to someone who, let's say, grew up on the streets or had drug problems or worked at a strip club, anything I say or tell them certainly isn't going to shock them, whereas in Christian circles I find the problem of well-meaning but Pharisitical people bombarding me with Scripture and telling me to just follow what God says and all will be well (YES, of course that's what we should do, but they seem to have no practical knowledge of how to go about it--after all, if it was all as cut-and-dried as they make it sound, none of us would have any problems in our lives!)

I would rather talk to a person with a colorful past and an open mind than a legalistic Christian any day!!! (Hence, my current signature.)

Keep hanging in there, Wug! We're all in this together.

 

[QuestionTime]

I know if I'm talking to someone who, let's say, grew up on the streets or had drug problems or worked at a strip club, anything I say or tell them certainly isn't going to shock them, whereas in Christian circles I find the problem of well-meaning but Pharisitical people bombarding me with Scripture and telling me to just follow what God says and all will be well (YES, of course that's what we should do, but they seem to have no practical knowledge of how to go about it--after all, if it was all as cut-and-dried as they make it sound, none of us would have any problems in our lives!)

I would rather talk to a person with a colorful past and an open mind than a legalistic Christian any day!!! (Hence, my current signature.)

You need to find people who understand God's grace. People who rest in what Christ did rather than try to keep all the rules by their own efforts. Well, there are such people here at CC. Pleased to meet you!

Quest

 

[giantone]

Hello folks,

Does anyone else find that it's easier to speak to non-Christian members of the opposite sex than it is to speak to Christian ones? And if so, why?

For me, I usually rely on a female to carry a conversation, and I can add to it as it continues. Christian women don't tend to do this as often.

Thoughts, opinions, advice from shy ladies on how to talk to your people, etc.

I would think mature Christian women who are God-centered are more careful in what they speak so not to sin or say just anything, I think they fear God and for that reason are less likely to hide behind words trying to win the favor of a man when it is the favor of God they are more interested in and they don't hide behind words. People shouldn't be un-equally yoked together the result is virtually always the one pulling the other down instead of the other way around. Christians need to marry Christians and non-Christians should marry non-Christians.

I would think communication in a relationship with a Christian woman and Christian man would literally involve the Spirit of God, but the communication with the not Christian would completely rest on the man and woman.

My advice is if you are a Christian, get into the Bible more, pray and seek God and it will be easy to talk to Christian women.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hello folks,

Does anyone else find that it's easier to speak to non-Christian members of the opposite sex than it is to speak to Christian ones? And if so, why?

For me, I usually rely on a female to carry a conversation, and I can add to it as it continues. Christian women don't tend to do this as often.

Thoughts, opinions, advice from shy ladies on how to talk to your people, etc.

It could be that the reason they are so quiet is because they like you...or because they dont like you...oh nevermind!

 

[zeroturbulence]

There is something though that maybe hasnt been considered here. That is the fact that maybe the person is just nervous and needs to warm up to someone before they feel comfortable enough to open up to that person. I am like that. Im a bit shy at first but once I feel comfortable with someone I open up a lot and start talking a lot more, sometimes too much.

Breaking the ice sometimes takes time. Sometimes it takes a good laugh or some silly moment, or a revealing, human moment to make a person feel comfortable. Remember, the scripture says "Love is patient".

 

[loveschild]

In general I find it easier to talk to non Christians. The Christians are more demon filled and self righteous. Gets tiring hearing demon filled people talk.
As far as Christian single men I don't know any. But like you I would need one who talks alot.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

In general I find it easier to talk to non Christians. The Christians are more demon filled and self righteous. Gets tiring hearing demon filled people talk.
As far as Christian single men I don't know any. But like you I would need one who talks alot.

yeah, i can imagine hearing demon filled people talk all day would be tiring....

 

[loveschild]

yeah, i can imagine hearing demon filled people talk all day would be tiring....

You made me laugh! Not too long ago this demon was giving orders out of this preachers wife. I was so mad I just wanted to go home. I told the Lord that I was so mad and wanted to go home. I was tired of dealing with demons talking out of self righteous Christians. The Lord told me are you going to run from a demon? I said of couse not! So I knew I had to stay and bind the demon up and pray for this woman.

All in a day of being a servant!

Have fun!
__________________

 

[QuestionTime]

yeah, i can imagine hearing demon filled people talk all day would be tiring....

You made me laugh! Not too long ago this demon was giving orders out of this preachers wife. I was so mad I just wanted to go home. I told the Lord that I was so mad and wanted to go home. I was tired of dealing with demons talking out of self righteous Christians. The Lord told me are you going to run from a demon? I said of couse not! So I knew I had to stay and bind the demon up and pray for this woman.

All in a day of being a servant!

Have fun!
__________________

I wish my walk with God was as exciting as yours is.

 

[MahogonySnail]

I absolutely love when women talk more than I do. I love a woman who carries the conversation.

Really? I would get bored easily. I like to do most of the talking. This one girl talked on and on to me once about the birds, butterflies, skies sunsets and trees and rainbows and clouds. I just fell asleep.

 

[Pheonix]

I would have to agree with you 100%, Quest, in churches putting together some kind of organized effort to greet and get to know newcomers, as I have been going to a new church for over a year and have yet to make any friends... Sure, I could dive right in and throw myself into classes and volunteer work there, but part of the reason why I changed churches is because I was so heavily involved in my old church, I am trying to take a break from all those very things!! And while I've met some very nice people who say hi on Sunday... I have yet to make any friends.

I would love to find a guy who doesn't mind that I might talk a lot but I do get tired of one-sided conversation and love it when a guy brings up his own set of questions, ideas, hobbies, or tells me a story about his own life and experiences and then asks my thoughts.

There is, of course, the old standby of movies, TV, and popular culture ("Did you see that latest episode of 'The Biggest Loser'?" [then again, I take it back on this particular show--she may think you're hinting that she's fat!])

I myself have a bad habit of being very drawn to people who are either kind of worldly or else are not "militant" Christians (and therefore may not be able to correct me when I need it.) I struggle with whom I should or should not form close relationships or ties with--non or "less" Christian people appeal to me more because as someone stated before, they tend to be more open-minded and less judgmental.

I know if I'm talking to someone who, let's say, grew up on the streets or had drug problems or worked at a strip club, anything I say or tell them certainly isn't going to shock them, whereas in Christian circles I find the problem of well-meaning but Pharisitical people bombarding me with Scripture and telling me to just follow what God says and all will be well (YES, of course that's what we should do, but they seem to have no practical knowledge of how to go about it--after all, if it was all as cut-and-dried as they make it sound, none of us would have any problems in our lives!)

I would rather talk to a person with a colorful past and an open mind than a legalistic Christian any day!!! (Hence, my current signature.)

Keep hanging in there, Wug! We're all in this together.

Pharisitical sounds like Parasitcal. You suppose there's a reason for that?