Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 41
Like Tree93Likes

Christian Singles Forum

Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: About your past

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default About your past

    I feel lead by God to write this, so please pray and join me.

    I found a thread about should you tell your future spouse about your past sexual partners.
    I was shocked to see that many wouldn't.
    This goes against the Bible, because God, is an Honest God. He has never, will never lie about anything. We all know who the father of lies is, right?
    It's ok for self preservation reasons to not disclose intimate details about your past with strangers or people you don't trust, but it isn't ok to be like that with your romantic partner.
    Your future spouse, if they truly love Christ and you , will never judge your past, will never use your past to hurt you.
    If they reject you because of your past, and this is very hurtful to the one who is rejected, it is THEIR shame to bare.
    Christ forgave you, and anyone who judges you for your past is not a person who walks with Christ.
    I am a brutally honest person, I have nothing to hide, and neither do I cower in shame because of the things I did before I gave my entire being to Him.
    I have a new Life in Him and frankly speaking, do you really want to get yourself involved with someone who cannot forgive you but judges you for your past?
    I know I don't.

    Peace ❤
    Lenardzw, EmilyNats and Keziah20 like this.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Matthew 6:14-15

    14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
    15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
    1 John 1:9


    9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    2 Corinthians 5:17

    17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! ❤
    Keziah20 likes this.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 13th, 2014
    Age
    39
    Posts
    11,285
    Rep Power
    120

    Default Re: About your past

    I would tell everything. There's... nothing to tell.

    Yup, that's right. In another year and a half I'll be the star of the new hit sequel, "The 40 Year Old Virgin 2."
    seoulsearch, Fenner, Pipp and 6 others like this.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynx View Post
    I would tell everything. There's... nothing to tell.

    Yup, that's right. In another year and a half I'll be the star of the new hit sequel, "The 40 Year Old Virgin 2."
    I think you would also not judge your future spouse if he told you everything too. My question is, do you want him to have a similar or same past as yours?

    I think I would want to be with someone who has a history similar to mine, because I feel we would understand each other better.
    I'm not saying I wouldn't date a virgin, but neither do I want to be his teacher about things in the bedroom department either. Does that make sense?
    And congratulations for staying a virgin, it's a rarity nowadays. Unfortunately, I and many others too, never had a choice.
    Keziah20 and Rosemaryx like this.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Demi777's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 13th, 2014
    Age
    17
    Posts
    4,856
    Blog Entries
    45
    Rep Power
    124

    Default Re: About your past

    What is forgiven, is also forgotten. Why should we bring all the evil and sin back to life in the first place. It ends up starting a relationship with hurt feelings.
    Id rather start a relationship not knowing about 250 woman hes slept with. Id rather start on a new life,new season and new chapter than to keep indirectly let the past become now again. We see often that it ends up that past you talked about, are the arrows if the relationship breaks.
    We should live in the now, not in the past..
    Thats just my opinion
    God bless you
    ~*~Demi777 ~*~

    My Testimony:
    http://christianchat.com/testimonies...shortened.html

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    July 25th, 2016
    Age
    52
    Posts
    2,099
    Rep Power
    71

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by Spiritualpixie View Post
    I feel lead by God to write this, so please pray and join me.

    I found a thread about should you tell your future spouse about your past sexual partners.
    I was shocked to see that many wouldn't.
    This goes against the Bible, because God, is an Honest God. He has never, will never lie about anything. We all know who the father of lies is, right?
    It's ok for self preservation reasons to not disclose intimate details about your past with strangers or people you don't trust, but it isn't ok to be like that with your romantic partner.
    Your future spouse, if they truly love Christ and you , will never judge your past, will never use your past to hurt you.
    If they reject you because of your past, and this is very hurtful to the one who is rejected, it is THEIR shame to bare.
    Christ forgave you, and anyone who judges you for your past is not a person who walks with Christ.
    I am a brutally honest person, I have nothing to hide, and neither do I cower in shame because of the things I did before I gave my entire being to Him.
    I have a new Life in Him and frankly speaking, do you really want to get yourself involved with someone who cannot forgive you but judges you for your past?
    I know I don't.

    Peace ❤
    I would never ask my future wife about her past relationships. I believe this would be the wise way to go about things.. And likewise it would be wise for a woman not to ask their future husband about his past relationships.. If it does not matter to one then it should not be made a topic of discussion..

  8. #8
    PinkDiamond
    Guest

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by Demi777 View Post
    What is forgiven, is also forgotten. Why should we bring all the evil and sin back to life in the first place. It ends up starting a relationship with hurt feelings.
    Id rather start a relationship not knowing about 250 woman hes slept with. Id rather start on a new life,new season and new chapter than to keep indirectly let the past become now again. We see often that it ends up that past you talked about, are the arrows if the relationship breaks.
    We should live in the now, not in the past..
    Thats just my opinion
    I agree. Sharing too many details is not healthy. That opens the door for your spouse to have destructive thoughts. Personally, I am not interested in knowing details about previous girlfriends, etc. I think you should be honest and upfront about things that still impact your life currently. Certain choices we make do have long term consequences. I agree that a potential spouse has a right to know those type of things.
    Maybe this has a lot to do with personality types and how we approach things.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Demi777's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 13th, 2014
    Age
    17
    Posts
    4,856
    Blog Entries
    45
    Rep Power
    124

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkDiamond View Post
    I agree. Sharing too many details is not healthy. That opens the door for your spouse to have destructive thoughts. Personally, I am not interested in knowing details about previous girlfriends, etc. I think you should be honest and upfront about things that still impact your life currently. Certain choices we make do have long term consequences. I agree that a potential spouse has a right to know those type of things.
    Maybe this has a lot to do with personality types and how we approach things.
    Well Im honestly not interested in most things either unless he would have a STD or something else I gotta watch out for (sickess or so)
    BruceWayne and Spiritualpixie like this.
    God bless you
    ~*~Demi777 ~*~

    My Testimony:
    http://christianchat.com/testimonies...shortened.html

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jimbone's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 22nd, 2014
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,432
    Rep Power
    83

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by Spiritualpixie View Post
    I feel lead by God to write this, so please pray and join me.

    I found a thread about should you tell your future spouse about your past sexual partners.
    I was shocked to see that many wouldn't.
    This goes against the Bible, because God, is an Honest God. He has never, will never lie about anything. We all know who the father of lies is, right?
    It's ok for self preservation reasons to not disclose intimate details about your past with strangers or people you don't trust, but it isn't ok to be like that with your romantic partner.
    Your future spouse, if they truly love Christ and you , will never judge your past, will never use your past to hurt you.
    If they reject you because of your past, and this is very hurtful to the one who is rejected, it is THEIR shame to bare.
    Christ forgave you, and anyone who judges you for your past is not a person who walks with Christ.
    I am a brutally honest person, I have nothing to hide, and neither do I cower in shame because of the things I did before I gave my entire being to Him.
    I have a new Life in Him and frankly speaking, do you really want to get yourself involved with someone who cannot forgive you but judges you for your past?
    I know I don't.

    Peace ❤
    I have been with my wife since high school. We were together about 9 years before we got married. In that 9 years as a wild, drug dealing, fighting, irresponsible, loony toon I made some bad choices and did cheat on a few occasions. I HAD to come clean before we got married. I didn't because of God, or because I was Christian, I wasn't then, I just thought it was only fair that she know exactly who she was marrying, I didn't want to get married with anything that could come back to haunt me and hurt her. That was a hard day I tell you, but I think we should be honest, but see no need to break out the "list of past partners" if they are not asking about it. I don't think it's important to tell them that, if they ask then be honest about it never hide anything, but if they don't care or ask then leave it in the past.
    Tintin, Mooky, Pipp and 5 others like this.
    Mat 5:30

    "If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell."


    I find this to be very true because, God used me losing all function in my right arm after a motorcycle wreak to lead me to Himself, Truth, and Salvation.

  11. #11
    Senior Member BruceWayne's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 7th, 2013
    Age
    28
    Posts
    3,468
    Blog Entries
    1
    Rep Power
    46

    Default Re: About your past

    I prefer not to discuss past relationships, as it has nothing to do with the current relationship. If she asks, I'll tell her, but I don't ask about that stuff. I think that some things are just better left unknown. If you discuss everything, one person may not like the answer or it could get in their head, and that's not really beneficial for either of you.
    Demi777 and Yeraza_Bats like this.
    It doesn't matter if the world is made of marshmallows, or you just think the world is made of marshmallows. Either way, you're happy.

  12. #12
    Senior Member EmilyNats's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 28th, 2016
    Age
    17
    Posts
    822
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Re: About your past

    While I do understand forgiving, I also don't like surprises and think that it's good when a person knows what their significant other has struggled with in the past (and very well may still struggle with). But that would only apply if I were planning to marry the person.

  13. #13
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbone View Post
    I have been with my wife since high school. We were together about 9 years before we got married. In that 9 years as a wild, drug dealing, fighting, irresponsible, loony toon I made some bad choices and did cheat on a few occasions. I HAD to come clean before we got married. I didn't because of God, or because I was Christian, I wasn't then, I just thought it was only fair that she know exactly who she was marrying, I didn't want to get married with anything that could come back to haunt me and hurt her. That was a hard day I tell you, but I think we should be honest, but see no need to break out the "list of past partners" if they are not asking about it. I don't think it's important to tell them that, if they ask then be honest about it never hide anything, but if they don't care or ask then leave it in the past.
    Yes, excellent post, thank you
    Jimbone and Keziah20 like this.

  14. #14
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyNats View Post
    While I do understand forgiving, I also don't like surprises and think that it's good when a person knows what their significant other has struggled with in the past (and very well may still struggle with). But that would only apply if I were planning to marry the person.
    Exactly. Thanks.
    Keziah20 likes this.

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Just wanted to add, becoming best friends with your spouse is a must. Best friends trust each other, encourage each other, correct each other. And yes, honesty......For example Let's say, I met a guy but he 'forgot' to mention that he's got an extra child in another country. I marry this guy. The child's mom dies. Dad gets custody. Now where would that leave me?
    I of course would welcome the child and love him/her like my own child, but I would be deeply hurt by my husbands failure to tell me the truth. I would lose my trust in him. I would of course would eventually forgive him for it, but it would damage the unconditional trust I had in him. I never want to be put in that kind of a position. Silly example maybe but I've read stories where it's actually happened.

  16. #16
    HisHolly
    Guest

    Default Re: About your past

    I don't think the past is relevant unless you still need to work thru trauma or issues. The other should know what you need so they can adjust, help.. details? No.. I'm a new person, i had a different mindset before Christ.. I learned from experience. When someone sees your new being in Christ, knowing too much can unfortunately alter how they see you.. others may have an ideal they've had for years. If you bust the bubble, not everyone will stay.. it's not lying, it's irrelevant imo.. be happy and let sleeping dogs sleep. I'm not interested in letting the enemy take anything else from me by using my past against me..
    Spiritualpixie likes this.

  17. #17
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by HisHolly View Post
    I don't think the past is relevant unless you still need to work thru trauma or issues. The other should know what you need so they can adjust, help.. details? No.. I'm a new person, i had a different mindset before Christ.. I learned from experience. When someone sees your new being in Christ, knowing too much can unfortunately alter how they see you.. others may have an ideal they've had for years. If you bust the bubble, not everyone will stay.. it's not lying, it's irrelevant imo.. be happy and let sleeping dogs sleep. I'm not interested in letting the enemy take anything else from me by using my past against me..
    Well said, especially i am a NEW being in Christ and that is what matters the most imho (^^,)
    HisHolly likes this.

  18. #18
    Senior Member melita916's Avatar
    Join Date
    August 13th, 2011
    Age
    34
    Posts
    8,534
    Rep Power
    125

    Default Re: About your past

    my fiance and i have talked about the past. neither one asked the other to share. it just happened as got more comfortable with each other. we talked about past relationships, but we focus it more as lessons we learned, and how God helped us through those times.
    ~cheers~

    "I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me." -Psalm 13:6

  19. #19
    HisHolly
    Guest

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by melita916 View Post
    my fiance and i have talked about the past. neither one asked the other to share. it just happened as got more comfortable with each other. we talked about past relationships, but we focus it more as lessons we learned, and how God helped us through those times.
    I tried that a few times but lost every one.. When I say I was a stripper and did it all, it shatters the wife material ideal.. .. I'm happy for those who have the opportunity to to be so transparent.. They're living the dream

  20. #20
    Banned
    Join Date
    October 3rd, 2016
    Age
    48
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: About your past

    Quote Originally Posted by melita916 View Post
    my fiance and i have talked about the past. neither one asked the other to share. it just happened as got more comfortable with each other. we talked about past relationships, but we focus it more as lessons we learned, and how God helped us through those times.
    THIS is what I'm talking about.

    Perfect example of how it should be. Excellent post, thank you ❤
    Keziah20 likes this.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. DON’T LET YOUR PAST ROB YOU
    By Grace777x70 in forum Bible Discussion Forum
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: September 21st, 2016, 03:34 PM
  2. How do you get over past sin?
    By BenFTW in forum Bible Discussion Forum
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: June 11th, 2016, 06:36 AM
  3. Her Past
    By ManInChrist96 in forum Christian Singles Forum
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: March 14th, 2016, 02:06 PM
  4. GETTING OVER THE PAST
    By Maresa in forum Christian Young Adults Forum
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 30th, 2015, 03:52 AM
  5. Is the past really the PAST
    By Oncefallen in forum Christian Singles Forum
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: October 25th, 2011, 02:27 AM