I have just come out of my go-fast stage in driving and want to remind people of who you are driving with in traffic sometimes.
-- I drove hubby to the ER that first day not knowing he was having a massive heart attack. We left at noon. I had to come home at midnight. I left right after the doctors told me the amazing news that he survived surgery, (they weren't even expecting him to survive the four-block trip to get the surgery), and he was then going into the ICU. And, since I drove, I had to drive my car home. I only knew one way home, so had to take one of the worst highways in the US to get home. And, I was suppressing a good hysterical cry. I almost crashed. I took a taxi for the next two weeks after that, but realize the person next to you on the highway maybe in that situation.
-- He was very sick for the next three months. He doesn't even remember the first two months. And he lost all mobility in the process. Someone had to sign consent. For the first two months they sedated him. They don't do consent over the Internet yet. And, if they had to do something, generally it was an emergency, so I had to rush to sign something often -- early morning, afternoon, evening, or night. Never enough time to wait for the taxi and hope it didn't take the long route. And taxi drivers like lots of traffic because they get paid by the minute, not the mile. So traffic jams were good business. I had to take the car. My mind wasn't always on traffic.
-- I'm night blind. Ran over a curb that I saw every day at the exit of the parking garage at one of the hospitals. Truly embarrassing, but they just wouldn't start the Super Bowl at 1 PM for me, and you best believe nothing was stopping me from watching that with him. You don't want to be around me at night. (And, I don't want to take a taxi on Super Bowl night because most people wanting taxis are drunk, so need them more than I do. lol)
-- He was in the VA hospital for months. You know the stories about people dying while waiting around for doctor appointments in the VA? Yeah. That's the tip of the iceberg you can see. Underneath that water is the rest. ONE doctor for two floors of hospital beds and four wings. One doctor for that many patients. All the rest of "the doctors" were residents, interns, PA's, and nurses picking up the slack. So, the last thing that doctor ever wanted was to spend any amount of time with a patient's family. I'm the squeaky wheel. Doctors make rounds at the beginning of their shifts with a bevy of interns and residents soaking up the radiating knowledge from that doctor. That doctor is a doctor for the federal government so gets paid 10% less than anywhere else. That affects quality. You betcha! I wanted to know why it was taking six weeks for hubby to get an endoscopy, a colonoscopy and a camera throughout his digestive system, as if bleeding in the digestive system could be the only cause for him losing 1-2 pints of blood every day or two, and that doctor surely did not want to meet me to answer that question. The beginning of day shift is 8 AM, right smack in the middle of rush hour traffic in one of the biggest cities in the US. Do you really think my mind was on being polite to other drivers? Do you really think I was going to let you in from your left lane when you knew two blocks ago that was a left-turn only lane, but I, in the correct lane, was stuck waiting to get on that same highway for 4 lights because the right lane had construction? Nope. I can be a female dog with a good reason. (I can be one without a good reason. lol)
-- VA system. Regulation trumps common sense. The first time we were told he was coming home, he was still in the ICU with a vent, a feeding tube, and two bags to eliminate waste. He couldn't pull himself to the side, once more roll over without help, sit up, or stand. Oh, and he was still getting 1-2 unit of blood every three days. (I was told not to worry. If he needed blood, I could just bring him back. I'm 70 pounds lighter than he is and I'm disabled with a bad back. HOW? I had to ask.) He got into the VA's nursing home to recover because I am a squeaky wheel. Regulations say he could only stay for 90 days. Squeaky wheel, so we were able to keep him there for 109 days. Think I was thinking a lot about traffic? I got calls from the nursing home telling me he was sent back to the hospital. Think I was thinking about traffic?
-- He could walk by the time he came home, but his wheelchair and walker were in the trunk. (Only after I got help loading them in, did someone tell me he was supposed to come home by ambulance. S'alright. I spent 7 months planning on him coming home, so NO. I'm driving him home. But his balance was off. He had just gotten to the point of walking to the kitchen near the therapy room the day before he came home and had to get help to learn how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. (And he took the time to teach the therapist how to do it right. lol) So, his balance was off, and you really need balance to sit in a car. I drove super slow. I'm fully aware I was annoying other drivers. I also had one mile with a curve in the road to get from the right lane into the middle lane on a highway where right lane meant you were going to Jersey, left lane meant you were going to the center of Philly, and middle lane meant you were either going to South Philly or you're a truck going to our docks to pick up a load. Him not crashing into the dashboard or me was more important than all those other people.
When I went to the hospitals during that time, I noticed many many other people visiting their friends and family. John got other visitors too. There were four hospitals in a three block area, and it was right next to, or in, the campus of U. of Penn.
I am one person. How many others are going through the same thing any given day of the week, any given year?
You want other people to drive for your convenience? How about remembering you're not the only one on the road and each of those drivers has their own story?
That's why I drive slower now. And I'm more likely to let the idiot in the left-turn-only lane in now... if he'd stop using his little puppy-dog face to prove he was in it all for really pointless reasons other than thinking he's the most important driver on the road every day.
Try being nice on the road. It's pretty funny really how many people assume you're playing a trick on them. It really is. lol
