How to know when it's Really official?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#1
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#1
talking about dating. How do you know when it's truly official even if no words are spoken btwn the 2?

what would you say are the hints or something?

I really don't want to give more details at the moment but just curious as to your thoughts.

I know probably not the best forum to ask this question but.... just need to know.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#2
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#2
ManiaStar said:
talking about dating. How do you know when it's truly official even if no words are spoken btwn the 2?

what would you say are the hints or something?

I really don't want to give more details at the moment but just curious as to your thoughts.

I know probably not the best forum to ask this question but.... just need to know.
Click to expand...
I don't know your situation, of course, but it's my view that the guy should make it official!

Every time I have started dating, I made it official.

In my case, each time I have given the woman a necklace(mizpah) and made it clear that I was pursuing her exclusively.

Under ordinary circumstances, anything less than making a vocal proclamation is, in my mind, playing games.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Well, if you're not willing to give details it's not reasonable to expect answers.
But generally speaking if you haven't discussed anything then it's not official. That's what official would indicate, that two people made a mutual decision, together. As in talked about it. Though if the situation is as such that you are unable to bring it up, then it's probably not a good situation to be in to begin with. If there's a breakdown in communication now then you are doomed unless that changes.
 
M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#4
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#4
Ugly said:
Well, if you're not willing to give details it's not reasonable to expect answers.
But generally speaking if you haven't discussed anything then it's not official. That's what official would indicate, that two people made a mutual decision, together. As in talked about it. Though if the situation is as such that you are unable to bring it up, then it's probably not a good situation to be in to begin with. If there's a breakdown in communication now then you are doomed unless that changes.
Click to expand...
.

Honestly, I'm afraid to bring the topic up w/ him. I just have fear. But, I will share that he and I started kissing about 6 months ago and had been getting much closer/cuddling and kissing a lot. Nothing has been mentioned as to what we're doing really but, I am curious.

I guess instead of it being official, then, what would the signs be that you would be more then just friends?
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#7
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#7
If no words are spoken between the two it's only speculation regardless of the hints you may receive. You may even take hints to mean more than they actually are if you solely rely on that. It's best for the two to have a discussion pertaining to if they are just friends or a couple. It's the only way to make anything truly official.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#10
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#10
ManiaStar said:
.

Honestly, I'm afraid to bring the topic up w/ him. I just have fear. But, I will share that he and I started kissing about 6 months ago and had been getting much closer/cuddling and kissing a lot. Nothing has been mentioned as to what we're doing really but, I am curious.

I guess instead of it being official, then, what would the signs be that you would be more then just friends?
Click to expand...
Kissing in a relationship that is not officially dating?

You're afraid to bring up the topic with him?

He won't commit?

This could potentially go down the path of a friendship with "benefits". Blah.

I sure hope your situation improves in a hurry, or it ends abruptly.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#11
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#11
Oncefallen said:
What if you don't have a Facebook page to update??
Click to expand...
Good point!

I, for example, don't have a buttface page. :eek:

Oh wait...I made a vocal commitment to my girlfriend...I don't need a facebutt page. :eek:
 
M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#12
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#12
PrynceNY said:
If no words spoken between the two it's only speculation regardless of the hints you may receive. You may even take hints to mean more than they actually are if you solely rely on that. It's best for the two to have a discussion pertaining to if they are just friends or a couple. It's the only way to may anything truly official.
Click to expand...
I have never been in a relationship before so, this is all brand new to me. I keep hoping he'll bring the topic up but it's not happening and I'm really nervous to bring the topic up bc I'm afraid of what his answer will be but, since we've been kissing and cuddling for 6 months now, to me it seems like we're dating, It's so confusing to me.
 
M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#15
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#15
Test_F_i_2_Luv said:
Kissing in a relationship that is not officially dating?

You're afraid to bring up the topic with him?

He won't commit?

This could potentially go down the path of a friendship with "benefits". Blah.

I sure hope your situation improves in a hurry, or it ends abruptly.
Click to expand...


In the past, when he was in other relationships, he and i never did any of that even tho we mutually liked each other. Then after his last relationship ended, a little after that, we started doing what we're doing now and he often talks to me about the future and having kids w/ me, etc.
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#16
Oct 11, 2013
14,551
2,171
113
#16
You're kissing this guy and you don't know....

STOP kissing him it will only lead to the bedroom...that's more of a relationship than you want to raise.... as in children.... it's tough being a single mom... I can tell you from experience...
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#17
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#17
ManiaStar said:
I have never been in a relationship before so, this is all brand new to me. I keep hoping he'll bring the topic up but it's not happening and I'm really nervous to bring the topic up bc I'm afraid of what his answer will be but, since we've been kissing and cuddling for 6 months now, to me it seems like we're dating, It's so confusing to me.
Click to expand...
I'm afraid of what his answer will be Better to know his intent than to get emotionally hurt. Perhaps he's a rookie at this too...but he can still be more vocal about his intent...for the sake of both himself and you.
 
M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#18
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#18
Test_F_i_2_Luv said:
Ahhhh, but you're asking us how to know it's official.

Checked his buttface page lately? :p
Click to expand...

I know a few people who have been married for years and they've never updated their facebook status as to married and still says single. Not everyone updates their facebook status to what they're dating/marriage life is. I even know others who are dating who don't have their facebook status updated as to saying dating. A Lot of people Don't do that.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#19
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#19
ManiaStar said:
I never would update my facebook status anyway. That doesn't make it official.
Click to expand...
I was just kidding. It's official when you have declared your undying love for each other and would never cheat on each other. You have to make things clear. Why don't you just ask him? Assumptions only lead to confusion and misunderstandings that lead to heartbreaks.
 
Test_F_i_2_Luv

Test_F_i_2_Luv

Senior Member
#20
Jan 24, 2009
1,601
31
48
#20
ManiaStar said:
In the past, when he was in other relationships, he and i never did any of that even tho we mutually liked each other. Then after his last relationship ended, a little after that, we started doing what we're doing now and he often talks to me about the future and having kids w/ me, etc.
Click to expand...
we mutually liked each other What does "like" mean?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.