just tired of looking for someone

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How are you doing in the dating scene?

  • Wonderful - meeting new people all the time and having a blast

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I used to date a lot but it's been dry lately.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • I can't find anybody and maybe have had 1 or 2 dates in the last 5 years

    Votes: 3 37.5%

  • I don't date at all and have given up on it.

    Votes: 5 62.5%
  • Total voters
    8
  • Poll closed .
W

WIJeff

Member
#1
Nov 27, 2012
55
7
8
#1
Well, I'm honestly tired of the work it takes to find a woman who is compatible with myself. After my ex wife left me and I found out later there was a man involved from the beginning after she said we would work it out during the next year. Then after two months she changed her mind and said she's not coming back. oooh the deception. So then I tried POF (Plenty of Fish) and got a few responses including one woman who was interested and then wanted me to call her. I did at what point she said she was busy and couldn't talk. I tried to call back and she didn't answer and never returned my call. I felt like I was played. Other than that got really no good responses from anyone. Didn't get nowhere on two other sites including Christian Mingle. (Not always easy to find things to talk about either)

So now last January and started dating this girl who said I was wonderful and worth waiting for then changed her mind and wanted our relationship to be more social and felt she was moving too quick and now spends very little time with me and every weekend with her folks.

I joined a few meetup.com sites to just be social and always thought there's be a chance of meeting someone that way (although that was not my first reason for joining them) but nothing every came up and nobody wants me in those. A whole lot of nuthin.

Anybody else just get so sick of thinking and hoping and getting nowhere?
 
G

GODisLOVE7

Guest
#2
#2
WIJeff said:
Well, I'm honestly tired of the work it takes to find a woman who is compatible with myself. After my ex wife left me and I found out later there was a man involved from the beginning after she said we would work it out during the next year. Then after two months she changed her mind and said she's not coming back. oooh the deception. So then I tried POF (Plenty of Fish) and got a few responses including one woman who was interested and then wanted me to call her. I did at what point she said she was busy and couldn't talk. I tried to call back and she didn't answer and never returned my call. I felt like I was played. Other than that got really no good responses from anyone. Didn't get nowhere on two other sites including Christian Mingle. (Not always easy to find things to talk about either)

So now last January and started dating this girl who said I was wonderful and worth waiting for then changed her mind and wanted our relationship to be more social and felt she was moving too quick and now spends very little time with me and every weekend with her folks.

I joined a few meetup.com sites to just be social and always thought there's be a chance of meeting someone that way (although that was not my first reason for joining them) but nothing every came up and nobody wants me in those. A whole lot of nuthin.

Anybody else just get so sick of thinking and hoping and getting nowhere?
Click to expand...
Yeah, I hear ya. I think a lot of people have felt (or feel) the same.

For me, I kinda just stopped "looking for someone" and focus my attention on God. If He wants me to be with someone, He will bring that person in my life however, whenever He wants. If He wants me to be single, its obviously for His reasons. I am happy with both scenarios. I trust Him way more than I trust my flesh.

When I stop focusing on trying to find a cool dude and put that energy into knowing Him better, the more at peace and satisfied I become with my circumstances.

Perhaps you need to add an "other" button to the poll posted. I don't fit into any of the options you provided. :p

Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
 
Last edited:
EmilyNats

EmilyNats

Senior Member
#3
Jul 28, 2016
1,374
204
63
#3
I'm just going to take this time to say...

DATING SITES ARE OF THE DEVIL
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
I avoid the 'dating scene' all together. Dating scene is for flakes and people looking for sex. I just go about my normal routine and keep an eye out for who may cross my path, not go out desperately looking for other desperate people, or fakes, to sift through. It's not surprise things are going so poorly for you if that's where you're looking.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#5
Maybe there is someone on this site who is compatible with you.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
24,913
8,167
113
#6
The poll does not have my answer: "Never have bothered." I'm living life and loving it. If I happen to meet The One For Me then that's great, but I'm not going out of my way to look for her.

WIJeff why do you look so hard for her? Is "single" something broken that needs to be fixed, or something lacking that needs to be supplied? (This ain't just a question for you, I wonder this about all those who spend so much time and effort looking for a match... and I wonder it about all the well-meaning matchmakers too.)
 
IDEAtor

IDEAtor

Senior Member
#7
Aug 15, 2012
827
19
18
#7
WIJEFF, I can identify with the "tired," not the "of looking to find someone" part.
Your last question is telling, "If so-and-so has no one, then he or she will go nowhere."
But if your faith is in God, then certainly He's brought you through some and more.

But I get your point.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#8
Aug 13, 2014
24,913
8,167
113
#8
Ugly said:
I avoid the 'dating scene' all together. Dating scene is for flakes and people looking for sex. I just go about my normal routine and keep an eye out for who may cross my path, not go out desperately looking for other desperate people, or fakes, to sift through. It's not surprise things are going so poorly for you if that's where you're looking.
Click to expand...
By the way, although Ugly's phrasing was perhaps not the most tactful, I have to agree with what he said. The "dating scene" is probably not the best place to find someone. The people you will find at a (insert popular place to find a date here) are either desperate or bored. That's why they are there.

Unfortunately the best places to meet someone are the places it is rare to meet someone...
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#9
#9
Not a problem at all with my wording. Could be considered a lack of tact to mention a subjective and minor disagreement in wording in order to answer a question on an entirely separate topic.
 
W

WIJeff

Member
#10
Nov 27, 2012
55
7
8
#10
Lynx said:
The poll does not have my answer: "Never have bothered." I'm living life and loving it. If I happen to meet The One For Me then that's great, but I'm not going out of my way to look for her.

WIJeff why do you look so hard for her? Is "single" something broken that needs to be fixed, or something lacking that needs to be supplied? (This ain't just a question for you, I wonder this about all those who spend so much time and effort looking for a match... and I wonder it about all the well-meaning matchmakers too.)
Click to expand...
I just enjoyed having someone to spend time with and cuddle with and talk to and kiss. It’s a need that needs to be fulfilled. I think most people feel that way.
 
JosephsDreams

JosephsDreams

Senior Member
#12
Dec 31, 2015
4,313
467
83
#12
I would suggest that you maybe change your expectations. Maybe God wants you to focus more on him. I don't know.
Maybe have it in your mind that you may be without companionship for a long time, if ever. I would not even actively look at this if I was you.
 
D

DCrawshawJr

Guest
#13
#13
As for finding a mate:

I try not to think.

I try not to hope.

Contentment!

(I'm not saying I succeed all the time though. There are times when I REALLY want a woman.)
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#16
#16
I think the wall has been hit!! Course correct
renewed_hope said:
But that would be kind of hard! We kind of need to look where we are going or else we may hit a wall :p
Click to expand...
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#19
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#19
*senses some flirting goin' on up in here* ;)
 
J

Jjoe

Junior Member
#20
Jan 11, 2017
3
0
0
#20
Don't know. I guess I can'te say that I am tired of looking.
 
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