If there was internet in Jesus's time

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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#1
Aug 2, 2009
24,576
4,265
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#1
I just had this crazy thought. What would it be like if they had internet and social media in Jesus's time?? :)


On Facebook:

Jesus PM's Peter: Truly I tell you, you will deny me 3 times before dawn
Peter: Lol what?

Later on...
Peter's FB friends: You're with him aren't you!
Peter: (quickly unfriends Jesus) No, I don't know him! You've mistaken me for someone else.

Even later...
Jesus PM's Peter later: Peter... do you love me?
Peter: Yes, my Lord
Jesus: Peter... do you love me?
Peter: Yes, my Lord.
Jesus: Peter... do you love me?
Peter: Yes, my Lord. Your facebook must not be working because I answered you twice already.

:rolleyes:
 
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88

88

Senior Member
#2
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
48
#2
They would have some wild fish posts...
 
88

88

Senior Member
#3
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
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#3
Do a Facebook live from the feeding of the 5000--- please pass the tartar sauce...
 
Pie

Pie

Senior Member
#4
May 21, 2011
151
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#4
How about Paul? He'd have to unfriend all his Pharisee buddies. Imagine the twitter lash out at him for switching sides.
 
Yeraza_Bats

Yeraza_Bats

Senior Member
#5
Dec 11, 2014
3,632
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#5
zeroturbulence said:
Jesus PM's Peter: Truly I tell you, you will deny me 3 times before dawn
Peter: Lol what?
Click to expand...

This one made me laugh : p I cant imagine responding to the Lord with "Lol what?", haha.

And if He were around during the time of the internet, Im sure wed have thousands of videos "exposing" Him and accusing Him of being every kind of "ist" and "phobe" you can think of : p

Though I cant imagine Hed actually have much of an online social life, haha.
 
Lenardzw

Lenardzw

Senior Member
#6
Jul 31, 2015
425
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#6
So I'd imagine that john the Baptists exchange with the Scribes and Pharisees would be:

John B: You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

Brood of Vipers: It was an event on FB. We indicated that we were coming. Plus Twitter man! #itshappeningatthejordan #locustsnwildhoney
 
Lenardzw

Lenardzw

Senior Member
#7
Jul 31, 2015
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#7
Pauls 2nd email to Timothy: Tim. Be careful. The church is being hacked. Don't allow anyone to install any unauthorized software on your watch. Be on the watch for malware and keep your antivirus up to date.

Resurrection news first breaks on Wikileaks? Denied by authorities as a falsehood but Mary tweets, "He's Alive! I saw Him! #mysaviourlives"
 
88

88

Senior Member
#8
Nov 14, 2016
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#8
And don't sleep on your watch------- it's way too small...
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,576
4,265
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#9
Jesus: I am sending you a helper and he will be with you always..

Apostles: What's his screenname? We don't want to miss his friend request!

Jesus: He has no screenname

Apostles: Then what's his email address?

Jesus: [facepalm]
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#10
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
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#10
zeroturbulence said:
Jesus: I am sending you a helper and he will be with you always..

Apostles: What's his screenname? We don't want to miss his friend request!

Jesus: He has no screenname

Apostles: Then what's his email address?

Jesus: [facepalm]
Click to expand...
And then there was the great schism. Many said google was the appointed helper, while others believe amazon was the fulfillment of the promise, and lo a third faction proclaimed that facebook was the helper and companion with us always. And the believers were much divided.
 
Pie

Pie

Senior Member
#11
May 21, 2011
151
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#11
~Facebook~
James and John group message Jesus: Hey Jesus? We have a question.
Jesus: What is it?
James and John: We want to sit next you in GLORY. Like we want dibs on the spots right next to you.
Jesus: You have no idea what you are asking...


James and John: We can handle it.jpg


Jesus: ...





Other disciple posts:
*Tag John and James*
*Other 9 disciples "like" post*
 
Lenardzw

Lenardzw

Senior Member
#12
Jul 31, 2015
425
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#12
Lenardzw said:
So I'd imagine that john the Baptists exchange with the Scribes and Pharisees would be:

John B: You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

Brood of Vipers: It was an event on FB. We indicated that we were coming. Plus Twitter man! #itshappeningatthejordan #locustsnwildhoney
Click to expand...
Of course John didn't know all this because of his off the grid lifestyle. Problem with "not having an active online presence." Mistake number 4. Probably why he died single.....just saying.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#13
Apr 18, 2013
9,317
2,411
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#13
Jesus would definitely have been banned from twitter.


The pharisees would have cried, and said he was abusive.
 
88

88

Senior Member
#14
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
77
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#14
James and John would of had a "Sons of Thunder" app...
 
Lenardzw

Lenardzw

Senior Member
#15
Jul 31, 2015
425
22
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#15
And the Sanhedrin would have hired hackers to subvert the spread of the Gospel. I wonder who the ancestors of Russians were back then. eastern Slavs probably.
 
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