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Christian Singles Forum

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Thread: If there was internet in Jesus's time

  1. #1
    Senior Member zeroturbulence's Avatar
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    Default If there was internet in Jesus's time

    I just had this crazy thought. What would it be like if they had internet and social media in Jesus's time??


    On Facebook:

    Jesus PM's Peter: Truly I tell you, you will deny me 3 times before dawn
    Peter: Lol what?

    Later on...
    Peter's FB friends: You're with him aren't you!
    Peter: (quickly unfriends Jesus) No, I don't know him! You've mistaken me for someone else.

    Even later...
    Jesus PM's Peter later: Peter... do you love me?
    Peter: Yes, my Lord
    Jesus: Peter... do you love me?
    Peter: Yes, my Lord.
    Jesus: Peter... do you love me?
    Peter: Yes, my Lord. Your facebook must not be working because I answered you twice already.

    Last edited by zeroturbulence; January 11th, 2017 at 11:39 PM.
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    They would have some wild fish posts...
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Do a Facebook live from the feeding of the 5000--- please pass the tartar sauce...
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    How about Paul? He'd have to unfriend all his Pharisee buddies. Imagine the twitter lash out at him for switching sides.

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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Quote Originally Posted by zeroturbulence View Post



    Jesus PM's Peter: Truly I tell you, you will deny me 3 times before dawn
    Peter: Lol what?

    This one made me laugh : p I cant imagine responding to the Lord with "Lol what?", haha.

    And if He were around during the time of the internet, Im sure wed have thousands of videos "exposing" Him and accusing Him of being every kind of "ist" and "phobe" you can think of : p

    Though I cant imagine Hed actually have much of an online social life, haha.
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    Senior Member Lenardzw's Avatar
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    So I'd imagine that john the Baptists exchange with the Scribes and Pharisees would be:

    John B: You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

    Brood of Vipers: It was an event on FB. We indicated that we were coming. Plus Twitter man! #itshappeningatthejordan #locustsnwildhoney

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    Senior Member Lenardzw's Avatar
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Pauls 2nd email to Timothy: Tim. Be careful. The church is being hacked. Don't allow anyone to install any unauthorized software on your watch. Be on the watch for malware and keep your antivirus up to date.

    Resurrection news first breaks on Wikileaks? Denied by authorities as a falsehood but Mary tweets, "He's Alive! I saw Him! #mysaviourlives"

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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    And don't sleep on your watch------- it's way too small...
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    Senior Member zeroturbulence's Avatar
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Jesus: I am sending you a helper and he will be with you always..

    Apostles: What's his screenname? We don't want to miss his friend request!

    Jesus: He has no screenname

    Apostles: Then what's his email address?

    Jesus: [facepalm]
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    My dad was the greatest dad I could have ever asked for. Thank you, Dad..

    1 Corinthians 15:52 KJV:
    “In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

    "
    My heart is so hidden in hamburger grease that a woman has to eat fifty In-n-Out double-doubles to find me....."

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    Senior Member cinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Quote Originally Posted by zeroturbulence View Post
    Jesus: I am sending you a helper and he will be with you always..

    Apostles: What's his screenname? We don't want to miss his friend request!

    Jesus: He has no screenname

    Apostles: Then what's his email address?

    Jesus: [facepalm]
    And then there was the great schism. Many said google was the appointed helper, while others believe amazon was the fulfillment of the promise, and lo a third faction proclaimed that facebook was the helper and companion with us always. And the believers were much divided.
    When you do love a thing, its gladness is a reason for loving it, and its sadness a reason for loving it more. - GK Chesterton

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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    ~Facebook~
    James and John group message Jesus: Hey Jesus? We have a question.
    Jesus: What is it?
    James and John: We want to sit next you in GLORY. Like we want dibs on the spots right next to you.
    Jesus: You have no idea what you are asking...


    James and John:We can handle it.jpg


    Jesus: ...





    Other disciple posts: *Tag John and James*
    *Other 9 disciples "like" post*

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    Senior Member Lenardzw's Avatar
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Quote Originally Posted by Lenardzw View Post
    So I'd imagine that john the Baptists exchange with the Scribes and Pharisees would be:

    John B: You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?

    Brood of Vipers: It was an event on FB. We indicated that we were coming. Plus Twitter man! #itshappeningatthejordan #locustsnwildhoney
    Of course John didn't know all this because of his off the grid lifestyle. Problem with "not having an active online presence." Mistake number 4. Probably why he died single.....just saying.
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    Jesus would definitely have been banned from twitter.


    The pharisees would have cried, and said he was abusive.
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    88
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    James and John would of had a "Sons of Thunder" app...
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    Senior Member Lenardzw's Avatar
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    Default Re: If there was internet in Jesus's time

    And the Sanhedrin would have hired hackers to subvert the spread of the Gospel. I wonder who the ancestors of Russians were back then. eastern Slavs probably.
    Last edited by Lenardzw; January 13th, 2017 at 04:12 AM.

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