Is this bad?

[rachelsedge]

I always hear that Christians need each other, and I believe that to be true. I think the body of Christ is beneficial and there for a reason. Besides the fact that it is Biblical.

Maybe it's because I'm really only slightly starting to get "back on track" with God here recently, but I just don't feel the desire to connect with other Christians? I've been going to church, and I tried out a young adult group once. It's a fairly intimidating group as their get togethers I see on Facebook are 25+ people at a time. To an introvert, that's a lot. The other problem is that my church is 20+ minutes from my house. I think to really get involved, I would need to find a church in my town, which is a small town. There are some I might try out that would make getting involved easier.

But I digress.

I own a home, have three pets, am 20 minutes away from my job, and also work a second job (though it is part time and done from home), so my weeknights are pretty scheduled and it's hard to really do anything because that would require going back into town and that drive alone would be an hour. Weekends I tend to save for projects and myself (such as painting, house things, hiking, etc) or spending some time with current friends I have.

I guess what it boils down to is, I have no desire to do anything else. I enjoy church service but anything outside of that to "connect" seems...draining? The way things are now I just feel like I don't have the energy or motivation for it. I'm also still healing from a past relationship that makes me not really want to be around people my age much. I know being around them more might help, but I just don't have the desire for it.

I do have friends that I hang out with occasionally, when time permits. But I don't have a "Home church" with a "group".

I think I'm just worn out mentally, emotionally, physically, even spiritually...a million things have happened over just the past couple of months, but sometimes I feel bad for not having a small group or whatever that I'm a part of. I guess as a Christian that grew up with a church family before, it feels almost wrong? But at the same time I currently don't know if I care? It's like I think deep down I want it, but time-wise and energy-wise I don't.

Now I'm just rambling. Hopefully some of that makes sense.

 

[Tommy379]

No it's not bad. I feel you.

 

[RickyZ]

Makes perfect sense. I don't see anything wrong with you. And churches these days... let's just say a lot of them are highly questionable. God says don't forsake the assembly, but assembly can mean a few friends talking about Him. I actually consider this (CC) my primary assembly. It gets my mind on God and in His word, I can limit how many people I interact with, and when it gets to be too much I can turn it off. Small steps, Rachel. Don't feel like you have to jump in with both feet. If you just walk the walk, He'll direct the path and put the people on it that He knows you need.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Anyone with a family especially with kids and pets can be very tiring. Then you have work, bills, house is a mess and keeping that husband in line lol.

God sees this and understands. Your obligation is first to your family. In fact that's where the group should start is from within the house. Build your family up with God find a fun Bible study for kids and the adults. One day when things calm down you can then serve diffently. But there are moments when we can give or help no matter how busy we are. We can tithe, give to the needy, pray for people, love people, talk about God to strangers and family, and trying to live each day to show the influence of God within you. As you work do it all to give glory to God

 

[cinder]

I always hear that Christians need each other, and I believe that to be true. I think the body of Christ is beneficial and there for a reason. Besides the fact that it is Biblical.

Maybe it's because I'm really only slightly starting to get "back on track" with God here recently, but I just don't feel the desire to connect with other Christians? I've been going to church, and I tried out a young adult group once. It's a fairly intimidating group as their get togethers I see on Facebook are 25+ people at a time. To an introvert, that's a lot. The other problem is that my church is 20+ minutes from my house. I think to really get involved, I would need to find a church in my town, which is a small town. There are some I might try out that would make getting involved easier.

But I digress.

I own a home, have three pets, am 20 minutes away from my job, and also work a second job (though it is part time and done from home), so my weeknights are pretty scheduled and it's hard to really do anything because that would require going back into town and that drive alone would be an hour. Weekends I tend to save for projects and myself (such as painting, house things, hiking, etc) or spending some time with current friends I have.

I guess what it boils down to is, I have no desire to do anything else. I enjoy church service but anything outside of that to "connect" seems...draining? The way things are now I just feel like I don't have the energy or motivation for it. I'm also still healing from a past relationship that makes me not really want to be around people my age much. I know being around them more might help, but I just don't have the desire for it.

I do have friends that I hang out with occasionally, when time permits. But I don't have a "Home church" with a "group".

I think I'm just worn out mentally, emotionally, physically, even spiritually...a million things have happened over just the past couple of months, but sometimes I feel bad for not having a small group or whatever that I'm a part of. I guess as a Christian that grew up with a church family before, it feels almost wrong? But at the same time I currently don't know if I care? It's like I think deep down I want it, but time-wise and energy-wise I don't.

Now I'm just rambling. Hopefully some of that makes sense.

Welcome to adulthood. No there's nothing wrong or particularly evil about being so busy trying to keep up with your life that you don't have a lot of room for church activities in it. There also is plenty that's normal about feeling exhausted due to transition. Some days getting grocery shopping done and the floor swept is a big accomplishment.

I also currently have a schedule that keeps me from being involved in evening activities. Right now I'd say my main Christian fellowship comes from 1-1/2 skype buddies ( I skype buddy is pretty busy so we're still trying to establish a skype routine that works) and the closest I have to avenues of ministry are trying to make wise and encouraging posts on CC, and being kind to computer stupid people (because that's my job). I also grew up in church, but these days forced Christian fellowship feels so phony. And by that I mean I don't always see a whole lot of value in trying to hang out with people who are "Christian" if we don't have any other common interests just because of some idea that I should hang out with more Christians. And if I'm not clicking in as part of a small group, I'm not going to stick around.

But to balance that, it's important to have at least a couple people around who can hold you accountable for if you're spending too much time on unproductive entertainment or starting to think you can do this whole life thing without any help from God.

And there's always something to be said for baby steps, like finding someone different to eat lunch with every Sunday.

 

[chickwithsticks]

Rachel I can completely understand the situation you're describing and do not feel there is anything wrong. I think most of us go through stages of life where we need more solitude, healing time, introspection. Then we move into different phase and passages where we seek stronger fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. I have lived through both and suspect I may cycle through these and others multiple times throughout my life.

For myself, I have found it easier to focus on serving in my community and church and allow opportunities to fellowship develop naturally than to seek out groups to join etc. This may just be me. Serving just helps me keep my focus upward rather than inward.


Rachel it takes courage and faith to rely on God to empower us to move forward from a toxic or destructive relationship and into a new chapter in our lives. Praise to Him and your obedience! !

Keep seeking Him and hope to hear more about your journey!!

 

[phil36]

Hi Rachelsedge,

First of, its great to hear you are getting back on track with God, that alone will be a blessing for you. Since you are still healing from a past relationship and feel emotionally drained, it is important to just take things slowly. If you don't feel like mid week groups/house groups etc, don't force yourself. Going to church on Sundays will be just fine for now. Whats more important now is to get your relationship going full steam ahead, if you burn yourself out you might struggle.

I think finding a church closer to your home my be beneficial for you, but that is something that you have to pray about yourself. Spend time with Jesus in prayer and bible reading daily - go to Jesus for your strength.

- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3).. Make this your prayer, its a promise from God.

Don't let your emotions rule you. This seems like a hard thing to do, but remember when there is a storm Jesus is the peace in the eye of the storm where you are. Jesus says' ''I will never leave you nor forsake you''. This is a good starting point. Believe me I've been through bad times, and where we want to be is in the eye of the storm where peace is, Jesus! It is only fixing our gaze on Jesus and not ourselves (I'm not saying that is easy) that we find contentment and joy, not in our own feelings (as our feelings can lie to us!).

I think if you could find one female christian you can talk to even if it is just once a fortnight that would be a great help for you, unfortunately it can be difficult to just ask someone for help or a listening ear, quite possibly an older christian lady could be good for you. If you ask your Minister/Pastor he might make enquiries on your behalf. I understand what you are saying it can be a lonely old life. As Christians we should bare each others burdens, and when we go through suffering, humbly learn from it so that we can comfort others, I pray you find someone who can comfort you Rachel, and be a spiritual friend also. And close to home!

Maybe, just maybe, God is using this time of emotional stress to bring you closer to Him, to put your full reliance on Him, and cast your burdens on Him, for he is Faithful and WILL sustain you.

So after all that, my advice would be one step at a time, and take time for your relationship with Jesus, and cast your burdens/anxieties onto Him..He will sustain you.

Believe it or not I am not too good in big or small groups, its a real struggle for me also. you are not alone rachel. Anyhow, I am glad to hear your are getting back on track with your relationship with Jesus, for it is this relationship that defines who we are. Take your time. And try and find a home church.

 

[Wild]

Seems you are busy alot of the time, so no it is not wrong. Regardless of whether you are busy or not, yes body of christ is good and we shouldn't be lone wolf christians so to speak. But I am, and I like it that way. We are not required to be in groups, just some people like that sort of thing, some don't. All people are different. Whatever works for you is just fine.

 

[Lynx]

I'm not quite clear on this. Which part are you thinking might be bad? The not having a home church part, the not getting out and socializing part or the being single and being happy with it part?

 

[Bigbromarsh]

Hi,
The 1st thing that popped into my head was Ecclesiastes = there is a season for everything. If life is rough and full right now, know the OldMan (my nickname for Jesus) has you right where He wants you. Don't forsake the fellowship that you have now. When it's time to be more social = He will put it on your heart.

thats my 2 cents worth,

 

[pottersclay]

Hi,
The 1st thing that popped into my head was Ecclesiastes = there is a season for everything. If life is rough and full right now, know the OldMan (my nickname for Jesus) has you right where He wants you. Don't forsake the fellowship that you have now. When it's time to be more social = He will put it on your heart.

thats my 2 cents worth,

Try ancient of days it fits better..

 

[Bigbromarsh]

Pottersclay (hopefully this reaches you- still learning the site)

I thought about something different bc He is moving slowly, ??????, In His time, there is a reason why we have a book of Job and not a book of Marshall ??????

Like your profile picture = it may be my next tattoo

 

[Utah]

I always hear that Christians need each other, and I believe that to be true. I think the body of Christ is beneficial and there for a reason. Besides the fact that it is Biblical.

Maybe it's because I'm really only slightly starting to get "back on track" with God here recently, but I just don't feel the desire to connect with other Christians? I've been going to church, and I tried out a young adult group once. It's a fairly intimidating group as their get togethers I see on Facebook are 25+ people at a time. To an introvert, that's a lot. The other problem is that my church is 20+ minutes from my house. I think to really get involved, I would need to find a church in my town, which is a small town. There are some I might try out that would make getting involved easier.

But I digress.

I own a home, have three pets, am 20 minutes away from my job, and also work a second job (though it is part time and done from home), so my weeknights are pretty scheduled and it's hard to really do anything because that would require going back into town and that drive alone would be an hour. Weekends I tend to save for projects and myself (such as painting, house things, hiking, etc) or spending some time with current friends I have.

I guess what it boils down to is, I have no desire to do anything else. I enjoy church service but anything outside of that to "connect" seems...draining? The way things are now I just feel like I don't have the energy or motivation for it. I'm also still healing from a past relationship that makes me not really want to be around people my age much. I know being around them more might help, but I just don't have the desire for it.

I do have friends that I hang out with occasionally, when time permits. But I don't have a "Home church" with a "group".

I think I'm just worn out mentally, emotionally, physically, even spiritually...a million things have happened over just the past couple of months, but sometimes I feel bad for not having a small group or whatever that I'm a part of. I guess as a Christian that grew up with a church family before, it feels almost wrong? But at the same time I currently don't know if I care? It's like I think deep down I want it, but time-wise and energy-wise I don't.

Now I'm just rambling. Hopefully some of that makes sense.

Do me a favor, tell me everything you just said in one sentence.

 

[Demi777]

You need to give your Body a day of rest.. we are not made to function 24/7. Try to give yourself a day of rest and you will see that you will most likely have more energy to keep on doing stuff like going to church.. May be stupid to hear it from a Sabbath keeper but it works wonders.

 

[pottersclay]

Pottersclay (hopefully this reaches you- still learning the site)

I thought about something different bc He is moving slowly, ������, In His time, there is a reason why we have a book of Job and not a book of Marshall ������

Like your profile picture = it may be my next tattoo

No worries bro. Like the tat idea

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hi,
The 1st thing that popped into my head was Ecclesiastes = there is a season for everything.

Yes, that ^^^

Ecclessiastes 3 KJV:

To Everything There is a Season

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
______
God bless you, Rachel.

 

[rachelsedge]

I'm not quite clear on this. Which part are you thinking might be bad? The not having a home church part, the not getting out and socializing part or the being single and being happy with it part?

Mainly not having a "home church". I don't really judge myself for not wanting to get out and socialize and I would think that being single and okay is a good thing...?

Thank you for the responses everyone.

 

[Absolem]

Having christian friendships with honest fellowship can be draining I suppose because of how much you have to share about yourself but I'm sure its rewarding to have such friendships. Seems like your quite fulfilled. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.

 

[Silverwings]

I too am struggling with this issue. I have been in and out of church, but I like in better. But I keep running into major issues in the churches I have been to. I love Jesus with all my heart, and it hurts to keep running into things that ought not be in the church. Maybe I am too sensitive, or not forgiving enough, but it is definately an issue with me.

When I first came into the body of Christ, I thought I had arrived in Heaven, but it did not take long to figure out that was not the case, unfortunately.

This last time was back to back issues, I left one church to encounter a different problem at the next. It is disheartening to say the least, and now, I am trying to concentrate on all the bad the people did in the word, so I can better come to terms with what I am and have been facing.

I still like the book of Genesis, because things were so simple back then or they seemed to be anyway.

In the beginning God created.............and he called it good.

So beautiful. So peaceful. So loving. So kind.

Can you imagine how he felt at that moment?

So full of hope for his creation, such love for his new family.

Why do we always have to mess it up?

(Sorry I got off track but I just had to share what was on my heart.)

Just mainly wanted to say that you are not alone in your struggles.

Stay with God no matter what, he is the only one who will never leave you nor forsake you, neither will he let you down. There is great comfort in that fact.

 

[Fenner]

Mainly not having a "home church". I don't really judge myself for not wanting to get out and socialize and I would think that being single and okay is a good thing...?

Thank you for the responses everyone.

I think some people are lucky when it comes to finding a home church. I wasn't raised in a church and kind of felt like a stranger when I'd visit one. There were also times I didn't want to deal with groups. I'm not trying to sound selfish, I just wanted time to myself with God, to figure things out.

I am more involved now and I'm happy but even where I've been attending th last few year's I wasn't sure if I was where I should be. Now I'm confident that we are in the right place. I tell my kid's, you have a church family, most of these people have known you since you were babies and they love and care about you. I think that's really great and wish I'd have had that growing up.

Back to your topic, I think what you're experiencing is normal.