Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.
Like I said earlier. It's not what a man prays for that he receives, but that which he justly earns. And we attract to ourselves that which we are.
Instead Christians are like. Wow, the perfect blue sky is pretty and all but I want a rainbow or I won't be happy.
Embrace the Grace and Rejoice in His Everlasting Mercy and Love
Even our salvation is God's big favor that we don't deserve. Nothing can beat that kind of favor. All other favors are just icing to the cake. But most people prefer the icing than the cake itself. Everytime God blesses your plans it's a special favor. When you make a choice that glorifies God, what kind of father will not be pleased? God was very pleased with David, although David always messes up but he repented and got it right with God again. When we suffer it does not always mean God is not pleased, it is also for our own good. So give God credit because He is a big God and He gives special favors because those favors are nothing compared to what He has already given which is Himself and His life.
Last edited by Tinkerbell725; February 16th, 2017 at 07:32 PM.
"Only a person who risks is free"
"Honor God, eat, play, laugh"
God certainly can direct and lead people in finding a spouse. There are all those wonderful promises about praying in faith and receiving in the Bible, and those apply to pray for a spouse as well.
On the other hand, I sympathize with you, and I do believe some groups promote an extreme view on this.
The Bible does not teach men to be passive if they want to have a wife. The Bible says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord. Finding can take some effort. In the Old Testament Jeremiah tells Israelites to take wives, and to take wives for your sons and to give your daughters in marriage. Parents were even to be involved in it.
American culture and some other western cultures don't have any kind of social customs for helping children get married. Friends don't help much, and accepting such help can be looked down on. When you have preachers telling people God will make it just happen, that doesn't help much. In some countries, pastors may try to help match people up. In the US, in (a small minority of churches), there are pastors saying not even to look for a spouse.
I can't say I've come across preachers preaching this doctrine, but I've run across individuals who seemed to think God makes marriages just happen without any effort on our part.
In my case, I was looking for a wife. I was living in Indonesia, and spending a Christmas over there caused me to desire to pray more intensely for a wife. I'd been praying, but I prayed for the Lord to speed things up. I prayed all kinds of things like that, many of which happened. I felt like the Lord... maybe we telling me.. I met my wife in February. I'd meet my wife that month. My wife was praying that the Lord would just hurry up and send her her husband.
I visited a Bible college. A missionary who worked there suggested I go to the library and see the English books. I had this conversation with a beautiful young woman there. She told me later, she knew I was the one she'd been praying for when she met me. She didn't let on. Actually, we were both fishing for hints while talking on the phone after we met. I went home praying whether this woman was supposed to be my wife after I met her. We both had a sense of it.
I didn't cause myself to meet her. God answered that prayer. But I did put forth some effort to get to know her.
The Bible says "if you marry, you have not sinned." A Christian who is legitimately allowed to marry (e.g. not married to someone else) who marries another believer who marries in a right and honorable way, has not sinned. He doesn't have to get some kind of vision that this woman has to be his wife. There doesn't have to be lightening bolts from heaven.
But God can direct believers in this area of their lives as well, just like any other area. And if we pray and ask for God to direct us, he certainly can. I remember praying for the Lord to send an angel before me to find my wife, too.
I don't think this is a legitimate complaint. If someone says "God told us to marry" and God did not, that person is making a false claim. That might qualify as a false prophesy as well, and/or bearing false witness of God.It's unethical to promote this idea he does because it can cause christians who've ended up in abusive or terrible marriages to blame God for matching them with that person even if that person was a claimed christian.
If a couple has a bad marriage, that doesn't mean God did not direct them to marry, either. Two people can get married, and then not do their part in treating each other right.
I am more concered with people who say if God did not tell two people to get married by some supernatural means that they aren't really married. I haven't heard that idea from the pulpit, but I did see some bearded fellow on YouTube who had a lot of viewers who seemed to have an idea like that.
I agree that is an irresponsible thing to teach. Why put rules and restrictions on men? It probably wouldn't hurt men who are extremely social and charming and talk to everyone a lot. That can turn into a relationship.For men especially telling them to not actively pursue relationships will result in a girl never approaching you either unless you are model good looks.
'Ora et labora' is Latin for 'pray and work'. Are you actively looking for a wife? You can look for a wife. But it can be really hard to find one who likes you who you hit it off with who is godly with the appropriate values and temperment to be a good partner. That is especially the case for those who are particular about who they marry. And we do need God's help finding someone like that.I am getting close to 40 and I was fed the lie of not pursuing a relationship and just waiting on God for a relationship and it never happened.
There are 'pro-marriage' verses in the Bible, especially the Old Testament. If a Christian young person has decided on marriage rather than celibacy, it makes sense to be proactive about it, especially for males. The Old Testament teaches parents to play an active role in it, and in the New Testament fathers give their daughters away in marriage. More parental involvement is a good thing, but that is a problem with the system.
I noticed this thread when I was browsing. I understand that it may be difficult to realize God's power in relationships, or to assume or believe that He doesn't play matchmaker. But He had played matchmaker from the beginning, by creating Eve from Adam. In Genesis 2:18, "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.' " It follows on to say in Genesis 2:21-23, "So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh."  "Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."  "The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' "
It's not that God isn't or is a matchmaker. It is that we need to meet him halfway. In James 4:8, the Word says, "Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."
He has a plan in our life, for every facet and every relationship, and everything within our lives. But we cannot just believe that he will give us what we want, without meeting Him.
"Only a person who risks is free"
"Honor God, eat, play, laugh"
My dad was the greatest dad I could have ever asked for. Thank you, Dad..
1 Corinthians 15:52 KJV:
“In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.”
"My heart is so hidden in hamburger grease that a woman has to eat fifty In-n-Out double-doubles to find me....."
It is wrong to say that God does not play matchmaker. Paul implies that being a false witness of God is a bad thing. We are not to bear false witness. We should be careful when we say what God does and does not do.
God matched up Adam and Eve. Consider also Isaac and Rebecca. Could the sovereign work of God have been involved in the case of Boaz and Ruth? We don't read about any of them seeing a vision or hearing God's voice? God could work to put people together even if nothing spectacular seems to have happened to them.
Matchmaker??? my God ain't no matchmaker. He knew it before it was formed, for it is a rib that perfectly fits somewhere
all man gotta do is look out for it. what's yours, u will always know when U find it
Matthew 17:20English Standard Version (ESV)
20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”[a]
That alone debunks your theory. I read some of these posts and wonder if some of you can even discern the bible, if you read it at all... Really, some of you just make it up as you go because it sounds good to you.