How do you mend from a broken heart?
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Time will heal it eventually, which is very cliché to say, but it is true. Another recommendation; hang out with the people you love as friends and you know love you as a friend.
When I was dumped by my high school girlfriend, and only girlfriend I ever had, I was pretty heartbroken, though in hindsight it really wasn't much of a serious relationship at all. I thought I had loved her, but I know now I did not nor did she love me obviously by how she went about it going after another guy and then moving on to several guys after dumping me. I sat in bed for a few days very sad and with a very physical heavy pain in my chest. My friends came over and insisted I get over it and hang out with them, though I was not willing. They were a funny bunch and would not take no for an answer. My best childhood friend threatened to literally kick down my door and drag me out of my house if I did not go with them and I know him well enough to know he would have done it too. So I relented and got out of bed and hung out with them at a bonfire. It actually helped a lot just to be around them though at the time I was still very sad and didn't talk much the whole time. It made me feel like I was still worthy of love. After that day things progressively got better and the pain went away.
I will hope things get better for you too with a little bit of time, some friends, and God's patience and love.
When I was dumped by my high school girlfriend, and only girlfriend I ever had, I was pretty heartbroken, though in hindsight it really wasn't much of a serious relationship at all. I thought I had loved her, but I know now I did not nor did she love me obviously by how she went about it going after another guy and then moving on to several guys after dumping me. I sat in bed for a few days very sad and with a very physical heavy pain in my chest. My friends came over and insisted I get over it and hang out with them, though I was not willing. They were a funny bunch and would not take no for an answer. My best childhood friend threatened to literally kick down my door and drag me out of my house if I did not go with them and I know him well enough to know he would have done it too. So I relented and got out of bed and hung out with them at a bonfire. It actually helped a lot just to be around them though at the time I was still very sad and didn't talk much the whole time. It made me feel like I was still worthy of love. After that day things progressively got better and the pain went away.
I will hope things get better for you too with a little bit of time, some friends, and God's patience and love.
I dated this chick I thought I was going to marry....
We ended up breaking up, and then almost getting back together, when she went out with another dude and fell in love....
I was seriously destroyed, I cannot explain every detail about the relationship and what happened (but yes I was going to marry this girl)... What I can explain, 1 day I heard a pastor on Youtube say... God has a plan for everyone, and everything happens according to His plan...
I thought to myself, it is a good thing this did not happen, because it was not Gods plan! That made me happy for a while but then the pain came back...
I ended up praying for her every day to find a good Godly man that is better than me and that he sweeps her off her feet and leads her to Christ....
Well I can say this,
I do feel happy every time I think of her now, because I know Gods plan... And it was not me, but this great guy...
She is happily married to this guy, and I hear nothing but good things about their relationship...
Just pray to God and tell God everything that is running through your heart and ask Him for help, and pray for the person who broke your heart... And forgive that person, and explain to yourself things you did wrong, bring those things to Christ and ask Him for help in those areas.
We ended up breaking up, and then almost getting back together, when she went out with another dude and fell in love....
I was seriously destroyed, I cannot explain every detail about the relationship and what happened (but yes I was going to marry this girl)... What I can explain, 1 day I heard a pastor on Youtube say... God has a plan for everyone, and everything happens according to His plan...
I thought to myself, it is a good thing this did not happen, because it was not Gods plan! That made me happy for a while but then the pain came back...
I ended up praying for her every day to find a good Godly man that is better than me and that he sweeps her off her feet and leads her to Christ....
Well I can say this,
I do feel happy every time I think of her now, because I know Gods plan... And it was not me, but this great guy...
She is happily married to this guy, and I hear nothing but good things about their relationship...
Just pray to God and tell God everything that is running through your heart and ask Him for help, and pray for the person who broke your heart... And forgive that person, and explain to yourself things you did wrong, bring those things to Christ and ask Him for help in those areas.
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Time is a piece of the puzzle. Time, alone, does not heal. A certain amount of time to grieve is normal. It's healthy. But then comes a point where to have to start living again and not spend so much time dwelling on loss.
Granting yourself time to think and process while not letting your thoughts dictate you is also a big help.
Don't rush and think there's a quick method. Each person is different and the level of hurt can vary, so don't compare yourself to others. Major hurts can take months to start seeing any Real progress.
Just try to keep moving forward. Replace the pain with new, better memories to think on.
And just remember things Will get better if you put in the effort.
But do not attempt to rush into another relationship. 'Getting back on the horse' is selfish and fake and gives no healing, only distraction at the expense of another person.
Granting yourself time to think and process while not letting your thoughts dictate you is also a big help.
Don't rush and think there's a quick method. Each person is different and the level of hurt can vary, so don't compare yourself to others. Major hurts can take months to start seeing any Real progress.
Just try to keep moving forward. Replace the pain with new, better memories to think on.
And just remember things Will get better if you put in the effort.
But do not attempt to rush into another relationship. 'Getting back on the horse' is selfish and fake and gives no healing, only distraction at the expense of another person.
There's a saying that time heals all wounds and I believe that this is especially true for a broken heart. My advice is to pray for God to search and find a woman of your heart's desire to take this person's place. In the meantime it would be best to put this person out of your thoughts and don't hope that things will turn around in your favor because as long as you have hope you will have pain. Rather, place your hope in God that he will mend your broken heart.
when i was broken heart back then..
the first thing i do was cry.. -_-
after that eat!!!
and i try to realize that just because someone didnt treat me good doesn't mean that i'm unworthy..
and i try to realize God have a better plan for me.. and also praying that i wouldn't have any hate in my heart
I took things slowly and i vent a lot to friends.. after few months i'm OK
the first thing i do was cry.. -_-
after that eat!!!
and i try to realize that just because someone didnt treat me good doesn't mean that i'm unworthy..
and i try to realize God have a better plan for me.. and also praying that i wouldn't have any hate in my heart
I took things slowly and i vent a lot to friends.. after few months i'm OK
Thank you all for you responses and advice. It will take time for my heart to heal. I think this hurt so much is because in my new walk I am approaching things differently on the woman I am choosing to date as I am looking to be with someone that has God in her life and that I wants to build a long lasting relationship leading to marriage. I am very picky with who I date and thought long and hard on even approaching her to ask her out. And yes I even prayed on it too. The thing is we both serve in the Singles Ministry at our Church and we would always have great conversations with each other and good chemistry too. I thought it would be the time to get to know her better by asking her out to lunch but that didn't go too well especially in her response to me. I am kind of shy in approaching a woman that I like and for me to do so was really big and out of my comfort zone. After this it started to make me very guarded with my heart and not let another woman get close to me. Maybe over time that will fade away but right now that is how I feel..
I been there before where someone I cared for or had feelings for at one time rejected me for whatever reason. The bad part about being rejected by this girl, was dealing with seeing her on Sundays at church. It just brought so many mixed emotions of anger, and sadness as I had never had my heart broken by a girl before in my life, being in my 20's. I think what happened the most was it took time but even time didn't heal all wounds. I still thought of the girl and it just didn't left my mind even people asking what happened between you and her, made me feel like i was a loser. Eventually the girl moving with her family to another church helped alot. Not that I didn't want to see her face ever again, but she had found a church that was to her liking as her mother only spoke spanish. The girl eventually came back to visit my old church and what really helped me get over her was she bought her husband and newborn baby. I saw that she was in a relationship with someone else and it did hurt seeing that. I also saw that her husband was the total opposite of what she saw in me. I am 5"7 and most women don't like guys that are not tall like say 6'1-6'8. Her husband was tall and he looked like he was at least 6'5-6'8 basically towering over her. I get that women want a tall guy for protection and have someone that can hold them in their arms. Another thing was the guy was older than me by a few years and close to his 30's. Again most younger girls like older men and that's alright. I was in my mid 20's and she was in his early 20's as well so we were about 3 years apart in age. The last thing was seeing her finally happy, seeing her husband, her and her baby just made me feel that she had finally had the family that she wanted.
That was the last that I saw of this girl and I have gotten over her as I gotten older.
That was the last that I saw of this girl and I have gotten over her as I gotten older.
Wow this is some story you had. Thanks for sharing as I know that had to be hard for you to go through that and later see her with someone else. I am slowly able to move past it now as I am getting into a better place with my feelings but I think if I were to see her with someone else now I am not sure I would be able to take it that well but I know God would keep me. I have to think that I am not her type of guy and maybe as you described she could be looking for the opposite of what I am physically. For whatever her reasons I need to accept it and move on somehow. Again thank you for sharing..
