How to know when you're over staying your welcome at someone's house
- Thread starter ManiaStar
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I would go home. Not because he would have feelings hurt or does or does not want you to go home, but because of the fact HIS MOM IS FEEDING YOU.
He probably loves having you over for company, but you weren't married and His mom is probably sick of feeding you,
Being the obvious son, he probably doesnt see the problem with his mom taking care of you both.
Personally I would not like depending on my mother in law like that..and I married her son. So the whole staying at my boyfriends and having his mom feed me, would make me uncomfortable.
Why are you worried about hurting his feelings of you leave?
That line sounds like an excuse to stay more than a real concern, but even if he is upset with you leaving...what if his mom is upset with you staying....who would you choose not to upset?
He probably loves having you over for company, but you weren't married and His mom is probably sick of feeding you,
Being the obvious son, he probably doesnt see the problem with his mom taking care of you both.
Personally I would not like depending on my mother in law like that..and I married her son. So the whole staying at my boyfriends and having his mom feed me, would make me uncomfortable.
Why are you worried about hurting his feelings of you leave?
That line sounds like an excuse to stay more than a real concern, but even if he is upset with you leaving...what if his mom is upset with you staying....who would you choose not to upset?
Seems like a pretty unequal partnership if you are always worried about hurting his feelings. If you're sure you're going to be together forever then a few tense moments and hurt feelings should be expected and not too big of a deal (not something to be sought out by any means, but like shots or bad tasting medicine or surgery, something to be faced up to and done when necessary). If forever just means, as long as you don't make me mad. Then this isn't a very equal relationship.
One thing that can solve all your problems is communicating what you are feeling. We humans tend to make it more complicated than it needs to be. I know confrontation can be difficult and nerve-wracking, but it is key to resolution. You cannot blame someone for not knowing what you are feeling when you do not discuss it. Instead of waiting for him to speak up, how about you speak up? Afterall, you are the one experiencing these emotions.
Facial expressions and tone of voices usually will not show the accuracy of what a person may feel. Sure, you might think his face is changing and looks like he doesn't want you here, but you are jumping to a conclusion. I mean, he may want you there or he may not. You'll never know until you just ask. My facial expression usually do not show what I'm feeling, but people jump to conclusions about it all the time.
Don't be subtle, be upfront. Also, you can still be polite and be upfront at the same time. You can say something like, "I've been here for a few days. Is there a time that you'd like for me to leave?" Leave it open-ended, let him be the one to answer. He can either say "No, I want you to stay," or "Yes, how about in a week?" Leaving it open-ended gives him the opportunity to be honest with you.
I have low self confidence and low self esteem so I'm afraid that if I say or do anything wrong then people are going to hate me. I've been working on this issue and slowly getting better. I have a long road ahead of me but I'm trying. He and I don't fight. We have disagreements and when we disagree we usually walk away to cool off then we're cool
I actually did ask him the other night. I asked him if he likes me there during the day and he said yes, I love seeing you. Then about an hour or so later, I asked him if he likes me staying there at night too and he said yes. Then he said I'm happy you're sleeping.
Sometimes I just second guess myself bc I don't want to put him out, like if he wants some days to himself or what not, I would hope he'd tell me. I left last nightnight's and seemed like he wanted me to stay but came over again this afternoon but planning on leaving in a few hours.
Sometimes I just second guess myself bc I don't want to put him out, like if he wants some days to himself or what not, I would hope he'd tell me. I left last nightnight's and seemed like he wanted me to stay but came over again this afternoon but planning on leaving in a few hours.
Just go over there with a couple of suit cases and a lot of your personal stuff, and ask his mother if she'll buy another bed because your tired of sleeping in the recliner. Then observe their reaction carefully.
When I'm visiting someone, I just say; "Well, I've got to get going". Their response is usually; "Okay". Its better to exit before you over-stay your welcome, you never want to hear; "Here's your hat, what's your hurry".
The last time I said to a women; "I think I'll spend the night with you" responding with; "You'll do that when I see a ring on this finger".
When I'm visiting someone, I just say; "Well, I've got to get going". Their response is usually; "Okay". Its better to exit before you over-stay your welcome, you never want to hear; "Here's your hat, what's your hurry".
The last time I said to a women; "I think I'll spend the night with you" responding with; "You'll do that when I see a ring on this finger".