How to know when you're over staying your welcome at someone's house

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ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
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#1
The guy I'm with right now had something done a few days ago. I started staying at his house to keep him company as I'm also injured and am unable to do much. Third night I slept over and he's saying he's so happy I slept and last night he asked if we had any plans today. The other night I told him I was planning on going home that night and in his voice he almost sounded upset that I was thinking of leaving. So I stayed. But for some reason this morning I was thinking what if he doesn't want me here. Will he speak up or not? I don't want to overstay my welcome but since we get along so well, I figured he'd let me know if he wants me to leave. Is there a way for me to subtly ask him if he's ok with me staying here or what?
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#2
The guy I'm with right now had something done a few days ago. I started staying at his house to keep him company as I'm also injured and am unable to do much. Third night I slept over and he's saying he's so happy I slept and last night he asked if we had any plans today. The other night I told him I was planning on going home that night and in his voice he almost sounded upset that I was thinking of leaving. So I stayed. But for some reason this morning I was thinking what if he doesn't want me here. Will he speak up or not? I don't want to overstay my welcome but since we get along so well, I figured he'd let me know if he wants me to leave. Is there a way for me to subtly ask him if he's ok with me staying here or what?
Just ask him. That's the only way you'll know. "Hey, so how long are you going to need me to stay?"
Personally, I don't think you should be sleeping at his place at all. You are not married. It's not good and you know that.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
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#3
I gotcha but I'm sleeping in a recliner. I can't do much to help him since I'm unable to walk. I was just enjoying his company. I don't think he needs me to stay. I was just enjoying his company. The only thing I'm afraid of is I don't want to hurt his feelings by saying I'm leaving if he wants me to stay. That's why I wasn't 100% sure how to handle this. When he first had the procedure done, the dr told him she wanted me to stay with him all day. He originally made a face. So I said to him well I'll be as quiet as a mouse or I'll just go home. And he was like u don't need to be quiet as a mouse. And after that we did some shopping and we actually both passed out early that day. Exhausted. I was planning on leaving that night but after being so tired I fell asleep from 8pm/almost 6am. And then the 2nd day we worked on stuff and got a lot done. He seems to be enjoying my company but I don't want our relationship to go south.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
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#4
How to know if you're overstaying your welcome?


If you're at a man's house, and he's completely finished eating the dinner you cooked...

you are now overstaying your welcome.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,555
13,320
113
#5
How to know if you're overstaying your welcome?

If you're at a man's house, and he's completely finished eating the dinner you cooked...

you are now overstaying your welcome.
This prompted some loud laughter. I should be ashamed at myself.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#6
How to know if you're overstaying your welcome?


If you're at a man's house, and he's completely finished eating the dinner you cooked...

you are now overstaying your welcome.
Not funny. Being serious but yes I think I'm going to leave his house tonight. Give him dome alone time maybe not even come here tomorrow but maybe come on Monday for a few hours only.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
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#7
Not funny. Being serious but yes I think I'm going to leave his house tonight. Give him dome alone time maybe not even come here tomorrow but maybe come on Monday for a few hours only.
I thought it was extremely funny.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
381
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#8
I don't want him or his family to become sick of me and I don't want him to be upset that I'm still here. I just figured it was ok being that he hasn't said anything and we've been carrying on good conversation and getting along just fine.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#9
Third night I slept over and he's saying he's so happy I slept and last night he asked if we had any plans today. The other night I told him I was planning on going home that night and in his voice he almost sounded upset that I was thinking of leaving.
This would be the first clue. He likes you there.

The question you should be asking is does he want me here too much, and for what purpose?

Also to consider is, do you feel comfortable staying? It would be easy for this to become "too cozy'.

All you have to do is ask him. Or as you have done say you are leaving and see what his reaction is.

But be careful, it would be easy for this to morph from providing moral support to playing house.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
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#10
I don't want him or his family to become sick of me and I don't want him to be upset that I'm still here. I just figured it was ok being that he hasn't said anything and we've been carrying on good conversation and getting along just fine.

If he's your boyfriend, he probably doesn't want you to go ever.

But you still need to go home.

Don't make this too complicated. Just make sure he's alright, and either he can take care of himself, or he has a family member to help, and then say you need to go home.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
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#11
And I thought Maxwell's comment, while irrelevant to this situation, was worth a chuckle :)
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
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#12
And I thought Maxwell's comment, while irrelevant to this situation, was worth a chuckle :)

It's a gift.

I have the gift of irrelevance.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
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#13
This would be the first clue. He likes you there.

The question you should be asking is does he want me here too much, and for what purpose?

Also to consider is, do you feel comfortable staying? It would be easy for this to become "too cozy'.

All you have to do is ask him. Or as you have done say you are leaving and see what his reaction is.

But be careful, it would be easy for this to morph from providing moral support to playing house.
I do feel comfortable staying however I don't feel it right at all that his mom is feeding me everyday. But this morning he again asked me if I slept well last night and when I said yes, he again said yay that he was happy that I slept well again.

Today, he's been sleeping for a few hours and I just want to say something to him that won't hurt his feelings if he Wants me to stay. I do have a few things i need to do at home. I wouldn't mind staying the rest of this afternoon but I want to leave by 8 or 9 tonight.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#14
If he's your boyfriend, he probably doesn't want you to go ever.

But you still need to go home.

Don't make this too complicated. Just make sure he's alright, and either he can take care of himself, or he has a family member to help, and then say you need to go home.
Well he calls us life partners so take that as u will. I guess I am being a little hard on myself with this bc if he doesn't want me to leave, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt his feelings if I tell him I'm leaving.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#15
Well he calls us life partners so take that as u will. I guess I am being a little hard on myself with this bc if he doesn't want me to leave, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt his feelings if I tell him I'm leaving.

If you guys are "life partners", but you can't actually tell him simple things, or ask him simple questions...

maybe you need to reevaluate things.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
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#16
If you guys are "life partners", but you can't actually tell him very simple things, or ask him simple questions...

maybe you need to reevaluate things.
He and I talk about everything and do everything together. But sometimes, when it cones to topibs like this, I get nervous bc I don't want to hurt his feelings but again this isn't all him, his mom has fed me well the past few days and I feel bad.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,261
2,386
113
#17
He and I talk about everything and do everything together. But sometimes, when it cones to topibs like this, I get nervous bc I don't want to hurt his feelings but again this isn't all him, his mom has fed me well the past few days and I feel bad.

If you talk about everything, then there shouldn't be any problems.


In fact, instead of talking to all these people here about what to do...
you should just go talk to your boyfriend.
 

RickyZ

Senior Member
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#18
He and I talk about everything and do everything together. But sometimes, when it cones to topibs like this, I get nervous bc I don't want to hurt his feelings but again this isn't all him, his mom has fed me well the past few days and I feel bad.
Then step up and make supper for them every now and then.

The fact that he considers you "life partners" raises a red flag. If that's the case then he has to make the relationship legitimate in God's eyes.

Do you consider yourself to be his life partner? If not, you need to tell him so and leave, regardless of how it makes him feel.