Is job more imporant than a future spouse?

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toinena

Guest
#1
#1
I work a lot! I teach at three different schools, day and evening, sometimes weekends, too. And marking, preparing and organizing in between everything. I host Airbnb guests, too. The world can come to me, because when should I have time to travel?

I don't do it to get rich, and I even think teaching is a calling. I love thinking that I serve the Lord when doing the things I love.

But I know I can't work like this when or if I ever get married. But has work become too important? Is that turning the future spouse away? For who wants a wife that is never at home? I think I wouldn't mind reducing my hours for a future spouse, but still... It would be a bit difficult to let go.

My question is to you: How much of your career are you willing to let go of to build a family or relationship? Should you already let go of some of that pride and careermindedness when still single?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
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#2
The answer will be different for different people... And no answer from any other person will have any relevance to you. No matter what reason anybody gives for his own decision about this, I'm afraid it won't help you very much.
 
88

88

Senior Member
#3
Nov 14, 2016
3,517
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#3
toinena said:
I work a lot! I teach at three different schools, day and evening, sometimes weekends, too. And marking, preparing and organizing in between everything. I host Airbnb guests, too. The world can come to me, because when should I have time to travel?

I don't do it to get rich, and I even think teaching is a calling. I love thinking that I serve the Lord when doing the things I love.

But I know I can't work like this when or if I ever get married. But has work become too important? Is that turning the future spouse away? For who wants a wife that is never at home? I think I wouldn't mind reducing my hours for a future spouse, but still... It would be a bit difficult to let go.

My question is to you: How much of your career are you willing to let go of to build a family or relationship? Should you already let go of some of that pride and careermindedness when still single?
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*** your husband would want a certain amount of your time, so you would have to balance it out...
 
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toinena

Guest
#4
#4
Lynx said:
The answer will be different for different people... And no answer from any other person will have any relevance to you. No matter what reason anybody gives for his own decision about this, I'm afraid it won't help you very much.
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My question was: How much of your career are you willing to let go of to build a family or relationship? Should you already let go of some of that pride and careermindedness when still single?

Not me, but for the rest of you..... I know already I have to reduce it. It is insane to work this much.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#5
#5
I don't really know what a career is. I've been a sailor, a cop, I went to college, got me a white collar job I couldn't hold because my dyslexia acted up on me.

I went back to being a cop and now I'm a sailor for the next months. At least I'm having a lot of fun hee haw:p.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
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#6
toinena said:
My question was: How much of your career are you willing to let go of to build a family or relationship? Should you already let go of some of that pride and careermindedness when still single?

Not me, but for the rest of you..... I know already I have to reduce it. It is insane to work this much.
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Ah, that's different. I thought you were soliciting advice for your decision. If you have already made your decision and are merely curious about how other people handle this matter, that is an entirely different kettle of cuttlefish.
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#7
Oct 1, 2013
594
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#7
Hi tolnena,

in my opinion, if I may, it seems like one doesn't have enough desire to build a family or relationship if that becomes a fairly difficult question to answer. It's like.. (a really bad analogy) if I have to think about whether I should eat or not before bed time, then I am not really hungry enough (okay, I told you) Personally, I would definitely put building a family/relationship over my career if it comes to that because I hunger for building a relationship/family over my career. And yes, you work little too much for sure (unless out of necessity).
 
Bigbromarsh

Bigbromarsh

Member
#8
Feb 7, 2017
80
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#8
It's been awhile but I'm sure the Bible says "it's better to be single for the ministry but if you're burning with passion, get married " (lol, probably shouldn't have quoted that)

my 2cents is = marriage is a full time job!! Marriage has no vacations , marriage can make or break ppl!!! For years I have been afraid of relationships (I have been skydiving, I have worked 1000 feet underground, I have moved to different states bc I thought that where the lord was leading me, not to mention I am a wild redneck and have done many stupid things) all that to say I know risk and marriage is the biggest risk ever!!! But God has healed my heart and shown me that marriage can work if both ppl relie on Him! Hope that makes sense, I need a desktop lol
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#9
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
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Philippines Age 40
#9
A career takes much of our time but a healthy relationship takes more time for it to survive. It's not easy to balance work and social life. It all depends on what you value more. You have to plant seeds for something that you want to grow and you can't have it all. This reminds me of a nicholas cage movie "The Family man" . He was given a second chance because his life was successful but full of regrets.
 
I

imfinallyfree

Banned
#11
Dec 17, 2013
822
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#11
A cop with dyslexia? Oh THATS why they print words backwards on emergency vehicles,just kidding.

Maybe marry someone that has the same professional interests as you so even though you give lots of time to your profession so maybe your husband will be able to spend more than your free time with you although that could pose another problem entirely with you guy's spending too much time together.
 
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Susanna

Guest
#12
#12
imfinallyfree said:
A cop with dyslexia? Oh THATS why they print words backwards on emergency vehicles,just kidding.

Maybe marry someone that has the same professional interests as you so even though you give lots of time to your profession so maybe your husband will be able to spend more than your free time with you although that could pose another problem entirely with you guy's spending too much time together.
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It's not that bad, I still haven't told anybody to call 119.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
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#15
Well... yeah, well... Madred was a Cardassian. Different culture, different species even. They have different values.
 
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Susanna

Guest
#16
#16
Lynx said:
Well... yeah, well... Madred was a Cardassian. Different culture, different species even. They have different values.
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Oh gosh, I thought you said Kardashian.

I googled him and he was obviously a Star Trek character. Also obvious: I have never watched Star Trek lol.
 
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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#17
Aug 13, 2014
24,908
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#17
Cardassian, Kardashian... *shrug* Same difference.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#19
Aug 13, 2014
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#19
wisebeardman said:
that is an insult to Cardassians
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As was intended. My father in the federation-cardassian war. I'm always looking for an opportunity to insult cardi scum.
 
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toinena

Guest
#20
#20
Trying to sum my own thoughts based on this discussion... Not caring too much about cardassians or Kardeshians.

I think I love working because I serve both the Lord and the people I meet through work. That God can use even me, is a miracle in it self, and I somehow exist through serving... But if I am blessed with a husband I will love and serve him with the same passion. And if I continue to work some or not, doesn't really matter. What matters is serving God, wether it is supporting a husband's calling or serving beside him. And if no husband comes along, I have still some work to do for the Kingdom.
 
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