Hi, I really struggle with how I am treated by other church goers. So much so, I avoid going now. I am asked, as a conversation starter by people I don't know, things like "where is your husband?" and "why aren't you married?". Or I am asked if I have any children, and when I say no, I have literally had people turn their back to me and talk to someone else. Most of the Bible teaching makes references to marriage and I feel as a single person in my 30 ' s really left out. There are very few men attending church here (so I can't understand how the guys on here say they struggle to find a Christian girl to marry!). What makes matters worse is, I am out of work at the moment so I can't even use the excuse that I am a career woman either. In the past I have been obligated to help in children's groups etc but I just don't want to any more. And I agree with people on here who say that people wrongly assume that single people have so much more free time than married people...when it's all down to you to do everything, time easily gets used up. Also, smug married people have plenty to say about the gift of singleness and how blessed single people are! Anyway, I just wondered if anyone else felt the same. Cheers for reading, bless you all.
Do you feel like this?
- Thread starter BriJane
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C
There is nothing great about being single, I know that for a fact. As to how otger christians treat eachother, there is a quote I heard once that is sadly true. 'Christianity is the only army that shoots it's wounded.'
I know right now I am struggling because I am ready to move on, but the judgemental attitude makes it hard to even approach some Christian women who are single. Being divorced it is automatically my fault, and I failed God in their eyes.
All I can say is trust God, and remember 'folks will be folks'. Try not to let their attitudes get you down.
I know right now I am struggling because I am ready to move on, but the judgemental attitude makes it hard to even approach some Christian women who are single. Being divorced it is automatically my fault, and I failed God in their eyes.
All I can say is trust God, and remember 'folks will be folks'. Try not to let their attitudes get you down.
M
I've never been judged for being single, I've no children and never married.
I do understand though how it feels to be left out for being single.
Most church activities are aimed at children and families.
I don't think the church knows what to do with singles.
At one point my church did start a singles group but even that
had an age limit of 20-30, others in the church use to imply it was really
a dating young people's group. So it failed as the singles didn't want appear
to appear as if they were desperate or be gossiped about. Plus what about
people over 30, Maybe church thinks they are past it!
So that pretty much leaves the women's only group. Often full of elderly
ladies or married mothers sharing child rearing stories. It's a shame the
skills, worth and needs of singles arent properly recognised in the church.
Having said that, I've been fortunate to make some goods long term friendships
with married couples. That can be hard as well though, the last thing you want
is to give the impression you are muscling in on someone's husband!
For that reason I'm very careful to always involve the wife in any conversations,
plans, invites etc.
I do understand though how it feels to be left out for being single.
Most church activities are aimed at children and families.
I don't think the church knows what to do with singles.
At one point my church did start a singles group but even that
had an age limit of 20-30, others in the church use to imply it was really
a dating young people's group. So it failed as the singles didn't want appear
to appear as if they were desperate or be gossiped about. Plus what about
people over 30, Maybe church thinks they are past it!
So that pretty much leaves the women's only group. Often full of elderly
ladies or married mothers sharing child rearing stories. It's a shame the
skills, worth and needs of singles arent properly recognised in the church.
Having said that, I've been fortunate to make some goods long term friendships
with married couples. That can be hard as well though, the last thing you want
is to give the impression you are muscling in on someone's husband!
For that reason I'm very careful to always involve the wife in any conversations,
plans, invites etc.
I've never been in a church with a singles group. I've pretty much always been the oldest single in the crowd as well. It use to draw a lot of attention to me ....like everyone would look at me anytime a single man walked in the church doors. Now no one pays me any notice... I kinda like it better that way lol.
That's strange that some churches set a age limit for singles,where I'm from many churches had older singles activities for like 40 and up,everyone had a blast.
My Ma went to some functions, in fact that's where she met her second husband.
I'm not just turned off on church but organized religion as a whole,it's like they have to completely dictate your life and if you don't conform to what they want then you are going to hell.
My Ma went to some functions, in fact that's where she met her second husband.
I'm not just turned off on church but organized religion as a whole,it's like they have to completely dictate your life and if you don't conform to what they want then you are going to hell.