Need Dating Advice

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eisincognito

Guest
#1
#1
Hi there!

Apologies for this detailed question / concern. I feel like I'm in a gray area and I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

So I met this guy while travelling and we started talking online about month and a half ago. In the beginning, I was almost positive he was interested in me. But now, I am not sure anymore, for many reasons (e.g. it takes him hours to reply, he doesn't ask that much questions about me).

We had dinner about a month ago and it was when I learned that he is a Catholic and/but doesn't have a real relationship with God.

Up to now, we still talk everyday and we also went out for dinner again. He just asked me if I wanted to have dinner next week. I know that I should not date him. But I do think we can be really good friends as we get along well and have many things in common. I also like meeting people, especially non-Christian, who I can share the gospel to.

I am unsure of his intentions - if he just wants to be friends or wants to be something more. I don't know if I should ask him his intentions and tell him I am looking for someone who shares the same faith and relationship with God as I do or if I should wait for a clearer sign or for him to tell me directly. I don't want to be assuming or to make things awkward when it doesn't have to be (if he just wants to be friends). But I also don't want to drag it and waste his time, effort, and money if he is interested in me.

Hope you can give me some advice.

Thanks,
E
 
S

spunkycat08

Senior Member
#2
Dec 7, 2013
403
2
18
#2
OP:

Talk to God about this.
Ask God for his wisdom and advice on this.
God will let you know what he wants you to do.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
There is no easy way out.
But the real problem is you are trying to have it all. You want to keep a friendship. Should that really be such a priority? To barely know the guy and make keeping him a friend such a priority is a wrong attitude. If you're able to, great. But someone you barely know? It should be secondary.
This is a common mistake among women. Learning the disadvantages of this attitude and preventing it will spare you a lot of problems in the future.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#4
Mar 13, 2014
41,313
16,301
113
69
Tennessee
#4
Before you try to determine his intentions it may be wise to determine your own intentions. As a guy I don't really believe that his intentions are to just be a friend but at this time is just seeing if there is anything there in this current relationship that would want him to take it a step farther. He did ask you out for dinner next week so it is obvious that he sees something in you that's worth another look. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.
 
I

Infusion

Guest
#5
#5
If a man is interested in you he will always be thinking of that. If you say lets be friends or talk about other things it wont change that.
 
Rockrz

Rockrz

Banned
#6
Dec 3, 2016
1,674
25
0
#6
Need Dating Advice
Click to expand...
Don't date!


Wait on the Lord first to find out if it's even His will for you to get married and then if it is... save yourself for marriage waiting on the Lord to put together the deal in His good timing.

Otherwise, you gonna just get trouble...
 
I

Infusion

Guest
#7
#7
Rockrz said:
Don't date!


Wait on the Lord first to find out if it's even His will for you to get married and then if it is... save yourself for marriage waiting on the Lord to put together the deal in His good timing.

Otherwise, you gonna just get trouble...
Click to expand...
How long you been single?
 
Rockrz

Rockrz

Banned
#8
Dec 3, 2016
1,674
25
0
#8
How long you been single?
Click to expand...
Unfortunately... me no being single.

When I was young seemed like everyone said ya just gotta get married as though something was wrong with people if they did not get married... so I had that on the brain rather than seeking the Lord's will on it.

Needless to say, it resulted in an unfortunate situation of being unequally yoked... so it would be much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much better to seek the Lord's leading on this.

Lots of older folks will tell ya the same thing out of experience.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#9
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#9
eisincognito said:
Hi there!

Apologies for this detailed question / concern. I feel like I'm in a gray area and I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

So I met this guy while travelling and we started talking online about month and a half ago. In the beginning, I was almost positive he was interested in me. But now, I am not sure anymore, for many reasons (e.g. it takes him hours to reply, he doesn't ask that much questions about me).

We had dinner about a month ago and it was when I learned that he is a Catholic and/but doesn't have a real relationship with God.

Up to now, we still talk everyday and we also went out for dinner again. He just asked me if I wanted to have dinner next week. I know that I should not date him. But I do think we can be really good friends as we get along well and have many things in common. I also like meeting people, especially non-Christian, who I can share the gospel to.

I am unsure of his intentions - if he just wants to be friends or wants to be something more. I don't know if I should ask him his intentions and tell him I am looking for someone who shares the same faith and relationship with God as I do or if I should wait for a clearer sign or for him to tell me directly. I don't want to be assuming or to make things awkward when it doesn't have to be (if he just wants to be friends). But I also don't want to drag it and waste his time, effort, and money if he is interested in me.

Hope you can give me some advice.

Thanks,
E
Click to expand...
Best advice I have is enjoy the friendship, and be genuine about where you are and that it's just friendship. Keep some healthy boundaries in place so that you don't develop the emotional closeness of dating (that means limit the amount of time you're willing to invest in communicating with him and the topics you'll talk about) without really dating (which is what can happen to a lot of us in the zone of "really close friends"). Basically know where you stand, don't feel you have to force a confrontation on the topic, but be honest and upfront about it through your actions, attitudes, and behavior. And beyond that don't worry about it, and don't worry about whether he's going to drift away or not. People do that, people who were maybe interested and then lost interest do that even more, but that shouldn't matter too much to you since you already have decided you shouldn't date him.
 
F

FGT

Banned
#10
May 26, 2017
334
0
0
#10
eisincognito said:
Hi there!

Apologies for this detailed question / concern. I feel like I'm in a gray area and I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

So I met this guy while travelling and we started talking online about month and a half ago. In the beginning, I was almost positive he was interested in me. But now, I am not sure anymore, for many reasons (e.g. it takes him hours to reply, he doesn't ask that much questions about me).

We had dinner about a month ago and it was when I learned that he is a Catholic and/but doesn't have a real relationship with God.

Up to now, we still talk everyday and we also went out for dinner again. He just asked me if I wanted to have dinner next week. I know that I should not date him. But I do think we can be really good friends as we get along well and have many things in common. I also like meeting people, especially non-Christian, who I can share the gospel to.

I am unsure of his intentions - if he just wants to be friends or wants to be something more. I don't know if I should ask him his intentions and tell him I am looking for someone who shares the same faith and relationship with God as I do or if I should wait for a clearer sign or for him to tell me directly. I don't want to be assuming or to make things awkward when it doesn't have to be (if he just wants to be friends). But I also don't want to drag it and waste his time, effort, and money if he is interested in me.

Hope you can give me some advice.

Thanks,
E
Click to expand...
Take him to meet your parents.

The rest will become clear from there.
 
G

GraceRevelation

Guest
#11
#11
You pretty much answered your own question because you have all the major points already answered. He's not equally yolked to you. Why would you want a relationship with someone where the foundation of a relationship isn't even there. Friends or no friends is now the question, why be even friends with someone who's not close and connected with God, In a group setting...fine, but why in a private setting like dinner? Be smart and allow God to guide you, you can connect with people but you should be picky with who your friends are and incredibly picky in who you date, they should meet the quality and standards of your yolk (Jesus). Hold them to high standards and don't settle, these close people in our lives effect us and can bring us down or lift us up, be wise! :)

Be Blessed!
 
I

Infusion

Guest
#12
#12
Rockrz said:
Unfortunately... me no being single.

When I was young seemed like everyone said ya just gotta get married as though something was wrong with people if they did not get married... so I had that on the brain rather than seeking the Lord's will on it.

Needless to say, it resulted in an unfortunate situation of being unequally yoked... so it would be much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much better to seek the Lord's leading on this.

Lots of older folks will tell ya the same thing out of experience.
Click to expand...
Oh ok I see what you mean. Take your time. I agree. I thought you meant dont date ever and I was thinking whats the alternative?
 
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