Need advice on current situation.

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TwilightDawn

Guest
#1
#1
So in 2 weeks I will be leaving for East Asia to take part in a missions project for 8 weeks. There is a girl that is going that I am seriously interested in and I have thought about starting to pursue her before we left.

The problem for me is that I will be staying in the country after the project is over to continue outreach in the country as well as attend school. I would love to have her as a ministry partner in the future (especially if she actually lives the country we are going to).

How should I approach this situation. I don't want to leave these thoughts and emotions to be bottled up and distracting me but I also don't want this to affect our ministry ability during the project. Do I bring it up with my pastor and her or do I just leave it alone.
 
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grif101

Guest
#2
#2
It's difficult to say without knowing if she has shown an interest in you. If she isn't interested, and you approach her in a pursuing manner, it could potentially cause some awkward feelings between you and diminish your effectiveness in your ministry. However, if she has shown some interest in you, I think you should follow your heart and the direction you feel God is leading. Who knows? Maybe God is leading her in the same direction and you two are meant to be together as missionaries. It's difficult to say. Definitely pray about it. If you don't feel a leading either way, do nothing.
 
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TwilightDawn

Guest
#3
#3
Dang yeah. It's a little difficult for me to give a definite yes or no to whether or not she is interested as well but it seems like she might be. Another issue for me is that she is on staff with our church and staff and students can't date. But I will be on staff around the time I leave but since school is almost out it doesn't matter.
 
followjesus

followjesus

Banned
#4
Jun 1, 2016
5,032
121
0
#4
TwilightDawn said:
So in 2 weeks I will be leaving for East Asia to take part in a missions project for 8 weeks. There is a girl that is going that I am seriously interested in and I have thought about starting to pursue her before we left.

The problem for me is that I will be staying in the country after the project is over to continue outreach in the country as well as attend school. I would love to have her as a ministry partner in the future (especially if she actually lives the country we are going to).

How should I approach this situation. I don't want to leave these thoughts and emotions to be bottled up and distracting me but I also don't want this to affect our ministry ability during the project. Do I bring it up with my pastor and her or do I just leave it alone.
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Pray about it first sincerely , and make sure that your desires remain in the right. I believe most assuredly God hears our prayers, and knows our hearts and intentions, so if we keep them fixed on His ways, all else He will reveal in His good and proper time. God bless you, i hope you find good counsel, and I pray your missionary work is fruitful in the Lord.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#5
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#5
Going and serving overseas is super stressful, even for just 8 weeks. I think it would be unwise to add to that stress the stress of trying to start a dating relationship. The trip does give you a great opportunity though to do daily life with her and see what living and working together would be like, though, so take advantage of that to do some honest evaluation. Hopefully by the end of the trip you will know if you truly want to pursue anything or not. Also I've found that big life transitions leave me wanting to attach to someone as stability in the midst of the transition chaos, so I'd just say do your best to be honest with yourself about whether you want to be with her or you're just looking for something stable and comforting in the midst of transition (you make it sound like you're about to finish school and move to the other side of the world for a considerable amount of time, that's a lot of transition).
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#6
May 25, 2015
6,119
821
113
#6
TwilightDawn said:
So in 2 weeks I will be leaving for East Asia to take part in a missions project for 8 weeks. There is a girl that is going that I am seriously interested in and I have thought about starting to pursue her before we left.

The problem for me is that I will be staying in the country after the project is over to continue outreach in the country as well as attend school. I would love to have her as a ministry partner in the future (especially if she actually lives the country we are going to).

How should I approach this situation. I don't want to leave these thoughts and emotions to be bottled up and distracting me but I also don't want this to affect our ministry ability during the project. Do I bring it up with my pastor and her or do I just leave it alone.
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I went to Asia two Christmases ago :)

I am all for strong leadership in your life. I would definitely check in with a pastor or someone in leadership who has helped you before!
 
Leftheri

Leftheri

Junior Member
#7
May 25, 2017
40
10
8
#7
Think for yourself. Just ask her out. All this doctrine and TALK! YOU SEE A GIRL, YOU THINK SHE'S HOT, SHE'S A CHRISTIAN? WHAT'S THERE TO PRAY ABOUT? GOD DOESN'T DO ANYTHING WHEN YOU JUST STAND THERE. You're a man. You don't need anybody's permission. Make your request known...TO HER!!! YOU DON'T NEED HOKUS POKUS. GOD'S WWWWWOOOORRRRDDDDD WAS WRRRIIITTTEEENNN FOR YOUR INSTRUCTION. BE A MAN, NO FORNICATION, NO BULLCRAP...If she likes you too then that's it! Become friends and see where it goes!

Nothing super spiritual necessary. You people. ..
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#8
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#8
TwilightDawn said:
So in 2 weeks I will be leaving for East Asia to take part in a missions project for 8 weeks. There is a girl that is going that I am seriously interested in and I have thought about starting to pursue her before we left.

The problem for me is that I will be staying in the country after the project is over to continue outreach in the country as well as attend school. I would love to have her as a ministry partner in the future (especially if she actually lives the country we are going to).

How should I approach this situation. I don't want to leave these thoughts and emotions to be bottled up and distracting me but I also don't want this to affect our ministry ability during the project. Do I bring it up with my pastor and her or do I just leave it alone.
Click to expand...
What are you going on the missionary journey for? To teach people about Christ, or pursue this girl? Then teach people about Christ, and let whatever God has planned happen. Your trying to monkey with the issue will only cause failure on both issues. If you don't feel like you can accomplish this mission without being distracted, then maybe one of you two should not be going.
 
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CaptainGoat

Guest
#9
#9
Just ask her if she is interested in you?
 
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