Miss understood word causing loneliness in singles. FELLOWSHIP!

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CaptainGoat

Guest
#1
#1
I think most of us would like to be dating. Many like me feel isolated at times. One reason for this is that churches can have a wrong understanding of the term fellowship. Let me explain what I mean.
Many times when I used to go to church, we would go in and a hymn would be playing while we quietly waited for the meeting to start. A hymn and then another... And then the pastor would say "Let us fellowship together" and he would lead in a prayer and we would listen to his preaching for half an hour or more, and then would be another hymn with the collection followed by the last hymn or chorus and a quick prayer and we would head for home.
Yet in the whole service above there was NO fellowship as the pastor took the meaning of fellowship to mean joining him in prayer or just being there in church (He is only on the fringes of what I feel fellowship means for a church!).
To me more fellowship takes place between the church and the car or the walk home then the whole service itself as basically put, fellowship is a two way conversation. It is talking to each other on whatever we are to talk about and time needs to be made for this separate to the church service. Maybe on a separate time in the week just meeting for fun and a chat? This is where we get to really know one another. To know each others needs. To share some fun!
It is this absence a lot of us crave and seek by joining sites like this.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Misunderstood

I don't think During service is really a fitting time for fellowship anyways. I think the before and after and small groups are more suited to it.
But people join sites like this because mist Christians are "Too busy" to fellowship with anyone. That's one if the most common reasons given here.
 
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CaptainGoat

Guest
#3
#3
Wasn't saying during a normal service was a right time. I was saying pastors can think that fellowship is the service when it is likely and possible one can enter and be part of the whole service and not have any fellowship at all, and it is a good idea for an evening for the fellowshipping or for time at the end of the service for this purpose.
I remember we would sometimes have a service called a fellowship service which was an extra service but had no fellowship in that they took it the same as a Sunday service and didn't seem to understand what fellowship actually was.
That is the point about what I am raising here is that while we did fellowship at times as it was normally after a service, sometimes with the deacon patiently ,or impatiently ( :D ) waiting to lock the doors, the church leaders themselves called fellowship the actual being there and not the two way communication between like minded Christian friends that fellowship is.
Where the thinking comes from is the concept of church and the scriptures. The Bible says not to neglect the fellowship with believers. This means to be part of the body of Jesus Christ. In other words interact, socialise (Dont like the term socialise as in my locality it means go down the pub and get drunk!), but the right meaning is to meet together for fun and companionship. To neglect this means as a Christian one becomes isolated even though one attends church.
The church leadership focus lender to think of the concept of fellowshipping as being church members physical body in church taking part in singing hymns, prayer and listening to preaching. This is not fellowshipping. This is worship, prayer and learning. Not saying a few dont fellowship just before and after the service.... The danger of not understanding the concept of fellowshipping is church members needs may not be met and they (Especially single people of various ages) can feel neglected or isolated despite being in every or every other service.
 
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Dagallen

Guest
#4
#4
I sit with a group at work, where we can speak freely, without being judgmental of what each person believes, don't try to be someone you are not, instead, just be who you are, honor and respect one another, love one another.
 
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CaptainGoat

Guest
#5
#5
That is fellowship.
 
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Dagallen

Guest
#6
#6
CaptainGoat said:
That is fellowship.
Click to expand...
How can anyone have a true fellowship in a church built by the hands of man, where you have to be who they want you to be and believe what they tell you to believe ? I find no comfort in a church built by the hands of man but when sitting in a group, we can speak openly, that's true fellowship, that brings me great comfort.
 
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CaptainGoat

Guest
#7
#7
The best ways are fun outings or evenings where games are played or fun things.
My brother went to the USA a few years back and he ended up staying with an Amish group who are born again believers. They know how to fellowship after the work is done!
One group I have seen that has certain things spot on but unfortunately is not a Christian group (Though it has a few Christians in it) are JW's. My aunt was one and two things impressed me. They worked hard and fellowshipped hard! I heard of church buildings going up in a day with everyone playing a role in the building.
It is a real desire to see so many Freemasons saved and JW's and Mormons (And others) an mass, that they won't be changing their churches or names (Unless God tells them to) but they as a whole church or organisation will now be following Jesus!
Another group who is so needy for the Gospel are Muslims. Think of all the effort they put in and they are willing to give their lives for the cause unknowingly following the wrong god. This is really sad to see. Anyway. Going off subject now!
 
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BriJane

Junior Member
#8
May 23, 2017
26
1
1
#8
I find it difficult to enjoy being in the company of many of the people at church because I am just asked very personal questions. I get the feeling that people are not genuinely interested in making friends but want to be nosey! It still shocks me how someone can think it is right to ask someone they hardly know, the reason why they have no children! Not acceptable. Yet happens all the time.
 
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Stewart

Guest
#9
#9
BriJane said:
I find it difficult to enjoy being in the company of many of the people at church because I am just asked very personal questions. I get the feeling that people are not genuinely interested in making friends but want to be nosey! It still shocks me how someone can think it is right to ask someone they hardly know, the reason why they have no children! Not acceptable. Yet happens all the time.
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Gosh I'm afraid it happens sometimes.Some people just don't know the difference between inappropriate/appropriate comments or questions.
 
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CaptainGoat

Guest
#10
#10
BriJane said:
I find it difficult to enjoy being in the company of many of the people at church because I am just asked very personal questions. I get the feeling that people are not genuinely interested in making friends but want to be nosey! It still shocks me how someone can think it is right to ask someone they hardly know, the reason why they have no children! Not acceptable. Yet happens all the time.
Click to expand...
Is why it can be good sometimes to slip into the back of a traditional village church just as the service is starting, and slip out just before it ends!
 
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