Is sex ok outside of marriage? Is a 33 year old virgin a freak today?

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Cinderelda

Guest
#1
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,081
1,748
113
#2
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
I'm married and in my 40's. But if I were a single, 33+ man looking for a wife, and I heard about a godly Christian girl who was still a virgin at 33, and had been in pageants (= probably attractive), she'd be at the top of my list of women to meet.

A lot of young men in the western world don't think of virginity as an asset, but why would she want one of those kind of men? That's not a Biblical world view. If a man can't appreciate and value the fact that she has kept herself for marriage, he doesn't deserve her.

There are men who value virginity, who are virgins themselves, who wonder where they can find a woman to marry who is still a virgin. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, I suppose. For the right guy, the fact that she is a virgin will make her all that more of a treasure. There is also research that indicates a woman who is a virgin at marriage is less likely to divorce than a woman who has had multiple sexual partners. If nothing else, she is likely to value marriage more, if she has kept herself for it.

I suppose you might find some secular men who wouldn't want to date a virgin because they might think a woman who has remained a virgin for a while has a low sex drive or lacks people skills or whatever. This is a very foolish perspective, but some men have it. But I'd imagine most secular men wouldn't have this prejudice. Some men would like to be a girl's 'first.' But if marriage is not involved, these are the kind of guys for her to keep away from.

She shouldn't care at all what most men think, anyway. She needs to get married to one man, not most men. Most American men would probably make bad husbands. She just needs one. One who appreciates and values her.

Why care if immoral men think her morality is strange? Early Christians were thought to be strange for not betraying God by sacrificing to idols or by engaging in sexual immorality.

I was a virgin when I got married in my late 20's, and so was my wife. I was living in Asia at the time, in a culture where virginity for singles is considered to be the norm and there is a strong expectation of it. This culture is a lot more 'sane' in that regard than what's left of American cultural in terms of sexuality. The sexual revolution seriously messed up cultural values.

If you are single long enough, it can also feel like you will never meet your partner. It can seem like a pipe dream. I remember wondering when it would ever happen. I'd been praying about it. But I started praying about it more intensely and more often, and within a few months of doing that, I'd met the woman I was going to marry, and some specific things I'd been praying for were answered.

And there are single men who lament the fact that it is hard to find virgins these days. She definitely should not throw away her virginity to conform to this world. The main reason for not doing so should be love for God. We should avoid sin because we love God. But she should also realize that if a Christian man appreciates the fact that she is a virgin, he just might have good moral values when it comes to sexuality. He might have a stronger aversion to sexual sin than someone who does not think the same way. And if he's a virgin himself, he's also in the lowest risk category for catching a disease.
 

Addison

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2014
1,028
46
0
53
#3
Hiya Cinder.

Here's a fairly good video that your daughter might want to hear on finding Mr. Right.

[video=youtube;BERIOlDTk2M]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BERIOlDTk2M[/video]

Oh, and welcome to CC. :)
 
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joefizz

Guest
#4
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
look at weirdly???
no that's the look of drooling over a woman lol not uncommon!
 
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joefizz

Guest
#5
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
ok I'll be more serious this time,tell her not to worry about what anyone thinks because for one to be a virgin is holy,and also you don't end up with a sleazy person,I'm 24 years old and still a virgin as a man,and I haven't thrown out the idea that I'll find a woman who hopefully is a virgin,or at the very least have my same strong desire to serve God,so just have her focus on all the good in being a virgin not the bad,because God knows our hearts and will lead us to whom we long for if we have it upon our hearts and still serve him,encourage her not to dwell on this,because she has plenty of time to seek out a man if she so desires,after all come on 33 is hardly old,as I tell everyone 120 years is biblically our life spans so no matter if a person be 50 or 100 God decides when your time is expired in life so just tell her to not give up hope and just focus upon her future with God.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#6
I'm a 39 year old virgin myself. Yup, just a few months and I'll be the real life 40 year old virgin.

I have figured out the primary goal in life is not to get married. It may happen for me five years down the road or maybe not, but the absence of a wife does not automatically mean my life is a failure.

And yes there are some (a few) nosy people who get all up in your business and think they have life all figured out and they believe they are doing you a favor by figuring your life out for you... and they can't understand why you aren't married yet and act like your life is a complete waste because you haven't found "that special someone" yet. They can stick their heads in a large bucket of ice water. :p
 
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Stranger36147

Guest
#7
In today's world, some might find it weird for a person to still be a virgin in their 30's or older. However, I'm sure there are others who would see it as being a virtue. For instance, it could be seen as a sign of self-control.

If your daughter is Christian, I would tell her not to concern herself with what other people think, but with what God thinks. God could lead her to a nice, understanding guy who wouldn't be turned off by that fact about her.
 
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#8
God honors that and im sure is very delighted shes saving herself for marriage. Especially living in this time where sex is promoted everywhere. Speaking honestly from the worlds perspective a 33 year old virgin man is viewed more of a freak, lol. Girls tend to get a pass since it's understandable many of them want Mr. Right.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
837
113
#9
Really, I don't think her being a virgin would scare anyone away.


Respectable men will think no less of her for her choice.

Godly men will hold her in high esteem for it.

Ungodly men would probably see it as some kind of challenge.


Now the virginity plus social red flags are another story. That may scare some people off.

In any case she'll be viewed as different. But that's not a bad thing :D
 
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Stewart

Guest
#10
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???


PRAISE GOD FOR YOUR TWO DAUGHTERS!!!! Their virginity is precious to god and also precious to satan as he would want to seduce them Into loosing it.There are thousands of christians who are still virgins of all ages and the reasons for the being Virginia at the age they are varie considerably from being brought up in a christian family and then choosing gods way by refusing to have sex outside of marriage...through to being a christian before they have sex and since that time they Haven't yet got married!!

The bibles says that there are things that the world honours that are actually detestable before god.Belive me if god opened up your daughters eyes to the fate that awaits those who live a life of sexual immorality they would hold on to their virginity until they are both married to a godly christian man.

I also must let you know that there are countless guys out there who sees a virgin as a personal challenge to have sex with her so as to brag and say.."it was me who did it"..They will use flattery,emotional manipulation..even going to church and doing all the right things just to win her over is as to seduce her into having sex with them..

Remember that once you choose to follow Christ you will ALWAYS be seen as a freek by the world..let's say your daughter have sex...then those around them will say the classic..'I thought you was a christian."..So they couldn't win.Plus they could be emotionally damaged by the sin of sex and would feel,they have lost their sexual seal of purity and innocence.

As I guy I genuinley care for your daughters welfare and they need christians around them to support them and give them the correct perspective.
final point is that 1st time sex fir most female virgins can be painful and often not what they expected and some are left thinking" is that it?"...."it that what all this fuss is about"...Sometimes guys having sex with Virgin girls who they managed to seduce ect often don't love them and many are just out to get what they want and sometimes the sex is quick..rushed...and unloving...Also satan can set traps for females such as STD or unwanted pregnancies!n

..As their dear mother you wouldn't want to be picking up the pieces from your daughters brokenness of falling into satans trap of loosing their precious virginity outside of marriage!
will pray for them and you too..
Keep in touch with us and let us know how things go as you al mater to god and most certainly matter us!!
 
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Stewart

Guest
#11
God honors that and im sure is very delighted shes saving herself for marriage. Especially living in this time where sex is promoted everywhere. Speaking honestly from the worlds perspective a 33 year old virgin man is viewed more of a freak, lol. Girls tend to get a pass since it's understandable many of them want Mr. Right.


Yes I give that a MASSIVE AMEN!!
 
C

CaptainGoat

Guest
#12
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
Tell her there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. It is normal for all except those who are married.
It is good she is patient. She is blessed by God.
 
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Tinuviel

Guest
#13
I don't see how men view her as the problem. She's doing what God has required (keeping sex inside of marriage), which means God views her virginity as a beautiful treasure. How a guy is going to see it is irrelevant. And honestly, if a guy views you as weird for being a virgin at 33, look somewhere else for Mr. Right.
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#14
Ok, I'm not a guy, but

Please, please tell her there is no such thing as "Mr Right"
Firstly the bible never says each person has a chosen person they are meant to be with
Secondly, we are all humans with good sides and bad sides, and we will just have to cope with each others bad ones.


PS: If she's a freak, so am I
Let's be freaky together :p
 
Apr 26, 2017
67
0
0
#15
I'm not a man, but if I may, can I kindly say something. Virginity is a beautiful thing and very sacred. In saying so, let it be known to you and the one you are to be married to. Immediately when a man find out you are still a virgin, they turn to question it and manipulate you. And find yourself proving your virgin to Mr Wrong.
 

EarnestQ

Senior Member
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
311
83
#16
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???

By all means she should stay a virgin until she marries. I did. I was 43 when I finally married. I was hoping to marry a virgin but God had someone else in mind for me.
 
W

Wild

Guest
#17
Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 gorgeous (at least I think so) daughters. Both are virgins....and now, they are Christian, but my daughter that is 33 feels like in today's world she is a freak because there are so few virgins her age left. What is a guy's viewpoint? She has been in pageants, and is a deep girl. She has social anxiety, which I think comes from the attention she received in school....to aggressive for her. Now, here she is, 33 wanting to meet Mr. Right, but fears that guys will look at her weirdlybecause at her age she is still a virgin. Comments???
Not at all, don't listen to the opinions of this world. Most girls especially in America these days are nothing but whores. Your daughter has self respect and stands by her Christian values , good for her .
 
Apr 28, 2010
78
1
8
39
atlantic Canada
#18
Tell your daughter not to worry. She will find the right man and being a virgin in your 30's is not a bad thing. I'm 32 and I'm still a virgin and waiting for the right guy to come along.