Looking Older/Younger a barrier for singles?

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Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,249
25,719
113
#21
You guys and gals are hilarious. Just wait till you hit fifty LOL

Or sixty :p
 
M

Miri

Guest
#24
This is an awesome question, Miri. Thanks so much for bringing it up.

People have always assumed I was young, which has its pros and cons. (I'm often asked if my pictures are recent--my avatar is from Halloween 2016 and my profile pic is from June 2016.)

I had a boss once who used to talk down to me and I constantly had to remind him that I was only 2 years younger than he was. Last week I had a co-worker (37) who thought I was 25, so people in a work setting often assume I'm young and inexperienced or incapable. I always feel like I have to work twice as hard to prove myself.

Because I'm Asian and both my father and Grandpa are white, people have always assumed I'm their girlfriend, which pretty much gives me hives. Because of that, I'd be very uneasy dating anyone who would be interpreted as my father. It would really have to a be a special situation.

Sometimes it comes in handy because I can find a place among almost any age range, but I'm often friends with people who are younger, for whatever reason, and they usually see me as a peer, older sister, or aunt, though sometimes I know I have to step up and speak to them as a slightly older adult. But since I don't have kids, I often feel as if I'm still a young adult myself, and have an inner child that still loves kid's toys, cartoon characters, and roller coasters.

I spent some time with my little toddler nephews a while back and they said to their parents, "Auntie Kim sure does like to play. Is she a grownup like you... or a kid like us?" I just thought that was hilarious! :)

It does cause a bit of chaos when it comes to dating, though. When I was a teen, the guys who hit on me were always older men starting in their 40's and going right on up to the age of having one foot (and sometimes a half) in the grave.

To be honest, it STILL feels odd when a 40-something "older"-looking man tries to flirt with me... And then I have to smack myself upside the head and remember "this" is supposed to be my exact age range.

I'm sometimes unsure of whom I'd be allowed to date, because I've often been approached by younger guys, too, and some of them have their lives more pulled together than the guys who are in my supposed age range.

I'm uncomfortable with anyone who would look like a dad, but I'm also horrified by the idea of dating someone who would be seen as my son, too. It would really depend on the person and our situation together. I would also consider his family's feelings--I couldn't date someone whose mother saw me as an evil cougar trying to prey on her son!

Now that I think about all this... Is it really any wonder I'm still single... LOL.
I still have teddy bears, it's the only hugs I get these day. :D
Im half UK white and don't know what the other half is, but I think the sun tan keeps
the wrinkles away.

That being said I'm completely white under all the hair dye. That's purple burgundy hair dye
with a bit of blond. Well as you say, we oldies have got to get our fun where we can. lol


IMG_0691.jpg
 
S

Starsdance

Guest
#25
I look so younger than my real age, I like my babyface, but not childish;)
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,701
113
Georgia
#26
I've been told I look young. Yay me !
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#27
I know this is a strange question, but wondered if others had encountered this.

Im 49 but within the last couple of weeks I've had one person tell me I look 30
and another say they thought I was 25.

People have always assumed I am younger. In my late 20s I could easily have got
on the bus at half price (teen price etc).

It tends to mean also the I get chatted up every now and then by younger men,
it happened last week for example but I'm not really into cradle snatching. :)
(Although he was very nice and goes to my church - shame).

While people of my age over look me!

Sometimes I feel I should wear a big note on my back announcing I AM 49!
soooo is this a complaint???? lol
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#28
oh dear,I tell women they aren't old until they are at least 60,(according to a commercial)
is that bad???
 
J

joefizz

Guest
#29
appearance is no barrier for me,a woman's looks though wonderful to have as an appeal is not what I like most about women,I look more to their cute humor,beliefs,and overall minds,that's what I look for in women,as well as a desire to serve God as much as I do!
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#30
I've been told I look 14. I've also had it assumed I was older than my twin brothers, who are 22. SO! Who can tell? But I am mostly assumed to be about 14 or 15. Which is awkward...no girl my age that I know of wants to be flirted with by a 15 year old boy! (true story).
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#33
I guess he figures by then they can't run fast enough to catch him.

Downside risk is, if he pulled that on my grandma she has a tightly-knit and protective family and some of us CAN catch him.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#34
The last woman who tried to chat me up got quite a shock when she found out my age. I asked her what her age was, and when she said '19', I blurted out laughing and told her I was old enough to be her father. She didn't believe me that I am 40, but after showing her my driver's license, she was quite shocked.

Maybe I should let my hair grow out a bit so the gray shows. When it's kept buzzed, you can't tell.
 

WineRose

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2017
3,631
265
83
Row A, Column 9
#35
My parents have shocked many a spa masseuse when they tell them that their 172 cm Asian daughter is just 15...
 
Apr 15, 2017
2,867
653
113
#36
My grandparents died when they were 98 years old,and my grandma's brother was 104,and they do not get any kind of health problem that I know of,but that which is common,and this is on my dad's side,and on my mom's side they have good health.

My uncle is 81 years old,but moves around like he is 50,so I have good genes,and on top of that I ride my pedal bike 100 miles back and forth to work a week,unless I cannot manuever my bike,like snow,then I take the car,and I go to the gym and lift weights,eat good,and drink about 1 gallon of water a day,and was so strong that I was called the eighth wonder of the world.

So I tend to look real young for my age,and take real good care of my face,so I tend to have younger women that will like me,but I tell them my age,and they tell me I do not care,but I care,so I tend not to entertain that.

I know age will eventually slow me down,but I cannot tell the difference between 18 and 54 by the way I feel,and think,although I am not as active,but that is because I am not younger running around doing the same things,but my overall health seems to be about the same.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#37
As far as that goes, Matt, I have decided on a method to tell when I have reached "old." When I don't feel like occasionally sprinting across the parking lot to the car - not because it's raining or because I'm in a hurry, just running for the fun of it - when I don't feel like sometimes doing that, I will know I am old.