Disturbing Attitudes on this Forum

[seoulsearch]

I honestly don't know why anyone is banned, to be perfectly honest. Resurrection, the guy in New Jersey with the Penguin avatar, and another user whose name begins with an S were banned, much to my surprise as I did not read anything overly sexual, racist, or threatening by any of them.

I know the guy in New Jersey was abrasive and harsh about people with liberal politcal leanings, but I never read anything to warrant banning.

I don't know, but perhaps if they are allowed to post here, they may learn something and we may learn something.

We often don't know what's going on behind the scenes.

I remember a user a while back who was a little offbeat, but I always thought he was kind of cool. He often asked the types of questions a lot of other people have but are afraid to ask, and I admired that. I always stopped to read his posts whenever I came across them. This was years ago, so I can't clearly remember, but I think he and I even had a few PM exchanges, and he never said anything questionable to me. I remember him as seeming even a little shy.

I was surprised to see one day that he was banned, and made a comment about it in one of the threads.

Another member wrote me privately and explained that this guy had apparently been sending sexually explicit messages to some of the girls on the site, and wouldn't leave them alone. He had never been like that with me, so I didn't know.

I was really sad to hear about this, because in all honesty, I wouldn't have guessed from his posts that he would do such things. But I was thankful that the mods were looking out for us.

Now, I'm certainly NOT SAYING that every member who is banned is doing something like this AT ALL, but I know that for myself, it was a real eye-opener as to all the things that may be going on behind closed doors.

Just a thought.

 

[17Bees]

Hey Galatea,

No worries. I didn't see it as an attack at all, just a difference of opinions and conclusions. I do agree that we are to have the mind of Christ for others, BUT, I think it's also important to remember that we are NOT Christ.

If I have 5 loaves and 2 fishes in my pocket, try as I might, and as much as I might want to, I can't feed 5,000 people. If God blesses what I have, maybe I could feed 5 people--and it's up to me to ask for God's wisdom and discernment as to who those 5 people will be. Maybe it's going to be on a first-come, first-serve basis.

But knowing what I believe to be is my particular calling, my first choice would be to give it to those I saw working to serve the masses, and not the masses themselves.

If you were in that position to feed so many, what, then, is the example you made to others? Is the example the miracle of the loaves and fishes? You're right; you couldn't possibly perform the miracle of feeding 5 thousand with a handful of bread and fish but what of your intent?

Your intent was that you didn't want to send those people away hungry just like Christ's intent, but what if your action - that of giving all you had to desperately feed the many - inspired another person in the crowd to do the same? What if that person had a little extra food and shared it with two others. What if the Christ-like actions of that one or two inspired the many more so that all are fed and satisfied and at the end of the meal, more food was collected than ever served?

Is that no less a miracle? Do we have to break natural laws to understand the miracles of a supernatural God?

So, in a way, I agree with you, Seoulsearch and Galatea too. If we're living a Christ-led life our discipleship is to be that example - the collective example. We're not in the heart changing business and sometimes our intents and examples we share with others goes unnoticed. Maybe mostly unacclaimed.

Examples to the contrary have the same kind of life, no?

 

[WineRose]

Buuuuut in regards to my opinion of the OP, I have had a couple of ex-friends who turned out the be emotional leeches, and one of them even turned out to be REALLY obsessive over me. Like, REALLY intrusive and would not give me my personal space. She used to be a good and helpful friend, showing me around my new school and being a really supportive friend. But later, she started asking me some slightly personal questions which were pretty fine at first, like my religion, or which part of Singapore I live in. However...I don't know what happened next in our friendship that caused her to ask me some downright over-the-top and intrusive questions, like about my sexual orientation, whether I lost my virginity yet, or even if I liked lesbian porn. She also seemed to depend on me to make even the smallest and trivial of decisions, and would complain to others if I don't help her. She won't even participate in group projects in class unless I do something for her, and in some cases, she won't participate no matter what. Because of this, they other boys in my class started to annoy me on a regular basis too, and they're still doing it, even though she's now in Canada. This caused me to be incredibly nervous in school, and my anxiety still continues to this day, due to the boys. I tend to not associate with any emotional leeches, or anyone at all, since recently because of this...

Just my $0.02 about this.

 

[Galatea]

Buuuuut in regards to my opinion of the OP, I have had a couple of ex-friends who turned out the be emotional leeches, and one of them even turned out to be REALLY obsessive over me. Like, REALLY intrusive and would not give me my personal space. She used to be a good and helpful friend, showing me around my new school and being a really supportive friend. But later, she started asking me some slightly personal questions which were pretty fine at first, like my religion, or which part of Singapore I live in. However...I don't know what happened next in our friendship that caused her to ask me some downright over-the-top and intrusive questions, like about my sexual orientation, whether I lost my virginity yet, or even if I liked lesbian porn. She also seemed to depend on me to make even the smallest and trivial of decisions, and would complain to others if I don't help her. She won't even participate in group projects in class unless I do something for her, and in some cases, she won't participate no matter what. Because of this, they other boys in my class started to annoy me on a regular basis too, and they're still doing it, even though she's now in Canada. This caused me to be incredibly nervous in school, and my anxiety still continues to this day, due to the boys. I tend to not associate with any emotional leeches, or anyone at all, since recently because of this...

Just my $0.02 about this.

Speaking as a self confessed emotional leech, I believe if your friend knew she had hurt you to this extent, she would regret having drained you and would apologize. I know saying I'm sorry does not make things all better, but at least it is an acknowledgment of being responsible for causing pain and also a regret for being a conduit for harm rather than a conduit for good.

 

[AbigailZeke]

I honestly don't know why anyone is banned, to be perfectly honest. Resurrection, the guy in New Jersey with the Penguin avatar, and another user whose name begins with an S were banned, much to my surprise as I did not read anything overly sexual, racist, or threatening by any of them.

I know the guy in New Jersey was abrasive and harsh about people with liberal politcal leanings, but I never read anything to warrant banning.

I don't know, but perhaps if they are allowed to post here, they may learn something and we may learn something.

There are CC rules so there are reasons to ban people. As for Gaariah, I know exactly why he was banned and I agree with Lynx, there is nothing to be gained by discussing it again.

 

[AbigailZeke]

It's simple really, just live the way God has called us to be. I was reading 1 Corinthians 7 last night and I really think this chapter speaks to me and speaks to this thread.

Jesus is our peace. If what we do causes us to be disturbed or to look at ourself or others rather than be at peace with God about it, that's a red flag. We're relying on ourself too much. The bible uses a much harsher wording, we're being self-righteous.

1 Corinthians 7:17-24

But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised.Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.

 

[rachelsedge]

I'm curious, Galatea - do you believe that anyone can mistreat anyone in any way that they please, as often or as much as they'd like?

If yes, would you tell a female to stay in an abusive relationship?

If no, do you feel that's contradictory to what you are saying in this thread?

Should there be consequences for that misbehavior? If yes, what sort of consequence?

 

[stillness]

I would end up not associating with anyone, and not even able to talk to myself as I am a fool.

Hi, again, Galatia, admitting is part of your healing.
There is a time for everything and it's wise to know we see dimly and need to walk in the light we have to get more.

There is a reason for your sister's advice: and we have to discern when we need to release people that we cant help to God and admit as you do that we need His help and come to Him ourselves rather than trying to help those who won't.
"I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.[SUP] [/SUP]But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

Where Paul sais Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, some other translation say Yet not at all referring fornicators of this world,
The context and other verses prove the above translation to be correct. Verses such as "How can two walk together except they be agreed," The agreement here has to do with the person hearing the message. Galatia we are healed in His presence, being thankful in our place, where we are with God, I'm still on the journey and have not much to share and give to influence others in addiction. That will change when I walk in the light that I have. We see the whole world in His hands, time is in His hands, and our time is always ready to come to Him. If you understood you are less prone to rescue those who need to learn to Love, on your journey to enter His rest. There is a hidden meaning to Jesus having the whole world in his hands: only the work of God is for ever, He is well able to do the work, we are to agree to bear the yoke, He lets us bear what we can handle to grow in Love and patience... Be refreshed sister this applies to all of us, as we walk in the Light we have we will be a refreshing.

 

[Oncefallen]

That's part of the problem, right here. For the life of me, I never saw where Gaaraieh, Chokmadiel, etc. posted anything so terribly shocking. He is a soul whom Christ died for, and worthy. I don't think he is toxic and was friendly with me. I understand people being banned if they are out of bounds for sexual posts, racist posts, or physically threatening posts- but just annoying people? Why, we'd all be banned if the grounds were annoyance and irritation! With the possible exception of Sweetmorningdew, that is.

I mean, really, is it such a big deal if someone comes here with a theology that is unorthodox and annoys people?

He was not a toxic person.

So, you wouldn't consider someone who was cyber stalking another user to be toxic?? His original incarnation was banned long before you were a user here and believe me, if we banned people for being annoying this site would be verrrrrrrry quiet.

 

[JosephsDreams]

Dont confine God with your limited human perspective.

 

[Depleted]

Even the Bible tells us to avoid some people...

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."
But if the man refuses to learn to fish, will you keep giving him a fish every day? Some people refuse to learn to fish because it is easier to just have somebody give them a fish. And sometimes it is better for those people if you stop giving them a fish, so they will get up and learn to do it for themselves.

It's called tough love, and it never feels good - for the person giving it or the person receiving it. But it is sometimes the only way to solve the problem.

Um, you're concept comes from a Chinese proverb. They tend to be the opposite of the Bible.

 

[Lynx]

That's the second person who thought I was claiming that came from the Bible. I never said the saying about giving a man a fish came from the Bible. I was using that as an analogy.