Well hello everyone,
So here I am putting myself out there.I am 22 years old and I am not married. And I am not a virgin. But I know better. I know to be saving myself for marriage. I go in stages where I am all about God and I am reading books and studying the Bible. Then I kind of stray away and go my own way of life.
I think me not being a virgin is because of low self esteem. I don't respect myself enough. I don't think I could ever find a man to truly love me. So I go and date the losers and sleep with them that say they love me but don't respect me. My ex boyfriend and I just broke up again after being on and off for 2 in half years. I want marriage and children and he really kind of doesn't. He says he loves me but isn't ready for those things and if we had a kid when he wasn't ready for it he would bail on me. My love for being a mother and a wife someday is my much greater than my love for him.
Now it would be very wonderful to find a Godly man that loves Jesus. As I did get baptized on July 14, 2013. But since I am not a virgin and I have slept with multiple partners, I feel like I won't be able to find a Godly man to accept this about me. Now I know God still loves me and forgives me, I have had these conversations with God many times. But I just have the low self esteem part of not being able to find the right man to love me for all of me. All of who I am as a person inside and outside. For my faults as I am not perfect, from past mistakes.
Anyone care to help a girl out with some advice?
Much appreciated and Thank you
So here I am putting myself out there.I am 22 years old and I am not married. And I am not a virgin. But I know better. I know to be saving myself for marriage. I go in stages where I am all about God and I am reading books and studying the Bible. Then I kind of stray away and go my own way of life.
I think me not being a virgin is because of low self esteem. I don't respect myself enough. I don't think I could ever find a man to truly love me. So I go and date the losers and sleep with them that say they love me but don't respect me. My ex boyfriend and I just broke up again after being on and off for 2 in half years. I want marriage and children and he really kind of doesn't. He says he loves me but isn't ready for those things and if we had a kid when he wasn't ready for it he would bail on me. My love for being a mother and a wife someday is my much greater than my love for him.
Now it would be very wonderful to find a Godly man that loves Jesus. As I did get baptized on July 14, 2013. But since I am not a virgin and I have slept with multiple partners, I feel like I won't be able to find a Godly man to accept this about me. Now I know God still loves me and forgives me, I have had these conversations with God many times. But I just have the low self esteem part of not being able to find the right man to love me for all of me. All of who I am as a person inside and outside. For my faults as I am not perfect, from past mistakes.
Anyone care to help a girl out with some advice?
Much appreciated and Thank you