What are some of the characteristics that would cause you to dismiss...

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H

Hellooo

Guest
#1
#1
...someone's online dating profile or message?

The reason I ask is because I saw a comment in another thread about (loosely paraphrasing, apologies if I misconstrue the meaning here) 'average looking women or 2s holding out for Brad Pitt'.

Fom my personal experience with online dating, I suspect it goes deeper than that for many others as well, so just opening the question up to men and women to see what your thoughts are.


Since I asked, some of the things I pass over are men who list that they're regular/heavy smokers, atheist or any religion other than Christian, profiles that aren't filled out or that are vague, men with children, shirtless bathroom pictures, pictures laying in bed, and direct messages that just go nowhere (not into small talk). Conversely, I know that I'm simply not everyone's cup of tea for a multitude of reasons, physical or otherwise. Which is absolutely fine, truly, I'm not looking for every man.
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#2
#2
I would leave my own thoughts but I pass over men for the same reasons. While aware Im not everyones cup o tea.. I sign out as soon as I see anything you listed.
Hellooo said:
...someone's online dating profile or message?

The reason I ask is because I saw a comment in another thread about (loosely paraphrasing, apologies if I misconstrue the meaning here) 'average looking women or 2s holding out for Brad Pitt'.

Fom my personal experience with online dating, I suspect it goes deeper than that for many others as well, so just opening the question up to men and women to see what your thoughts are.


Since I asked, some of the things I pass over are men who list that they're regular/heavy smokers, atheist or any religion other than Christian, profiles that aren't filled out or that are vague, men with children, shirtless bathroom pictures, pictures laying in bed, and direct messages that just go nowhere (not into small talk). Conversely, I know that I'm simply not everyone's cup of tea for a multitude of reasons, physical or otherwise. Which is absolutely fine, truly, I'm not looking for every man.
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PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#3
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
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#3
Generally speaking the majority of people i believe arent holding out for super models imo. However everyone has their own particular taste they prefer. Generally most women desire to hold out for a gentleman, that treats them with respect, affectionate, intelligent, romantic, mature, funny etc. Everyone is their own individual & should be love for themselves. If there are people holding out for celebrity look alikes thats a bad mentality to have tbh.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#4
#4
Things that would make me pass over women on a dating profile:

Single moms

Profiles that are picture heavy and light on text - shows no thought

Women with tattoos - hypocritical of me since I am heavily inked, but it looks trashy on women

Selfies - just no

any form of the canned line "if you want to know anything else, just ask"

anyone who tries to be clever in her post by veiling her preferences about "the perfect match" - some of us ain't dumb, toots.
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#5
Oct 17, 2016
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#5
Where I am in my life...my 1st response criteria is pretty easy...
He's single
No more than about 10 years younger or 15 years older
Looking for a man born again...
A man who has a clear picture of who he is and what he wants in his profile...which usually means he says what's on his mind.
After finding that...things are negotiable in my mind.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#6
#6
PrynceNY said:
Generally speaking the majority of people i believe arent holding out for super models imo. However everyone has their own particular taste they prefer.
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Exactly. (10 characters)
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#7
Oct 17, 2016
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#7
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
Things that would make me pass over women on a dating profile:

Single moms

Profiles that are picture heavy and light on text - shows no thought

Women with tattoos - hypocritical of me since I am heavily inked, but it looks trashy on women

Selfies - just no

any form of the canned line "if you want to know anything else, just ask"

anyone who tries to be clever in her post by veiling her preferences about "the perfect match" - some of us ain't dumb, toots.
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Wow...single moms? Ouch! What's wrong with single moms? Just so you men know...I think single dad's are awesome!
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#8
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
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Tennessee
#8
Lighthearted said:
Wow...single moms? Ouch! What's wrong with single moms?
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Nothing at all in my book. My late second wife was a single mom. Come to think about it, my first wife was a single mom also but that was only after she divorced me for cramping her style.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#9
#9
Lighthearted said:
Wow...single moms? Ouch! What's wrong with single moms? Just so you men know...I think single dad's are awesome!
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Everyone has their own preferences, I was just hoping to highlight that there are other factors that cause people to pass on someone, not just their looks -- not really looking to evaluate someone's personal criteria
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#10
#10
Lighthearted said:
Wow...single moms? Ouch! What's wrong with single moms? Just so you men know...I think single dad's are awesome!
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You're allowed to have your preferences. I'm allowed to have mine.

I don't like children. I don't want to be around children. I am not father material, natural or step-dad wise. It would be pointless for me to get involved with any woman who has or wants kids.

I wasn't making any comment about the quality of character of single mothers. Just stating my preference. I'd pass right over a single mom on a dating site. No need to waste my time or hers.
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#11
Oct 17, 2016
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#11
Hellooo said:
Everyone has their own preferences, I was just hoping to highlight that there are other factors that cause people to pass on someone, not just their looks -- not really looking to evaluate someone's personal criteria
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Yea...I got that sis! Yahweh is one tough dude! Man! Lol
 
Lighthearted

Lighthearted

Senior Member
#12
Oct 17, 2016
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#12
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
You're allowed to have your preferences. I'm allowed to have mine.

I don't like children. I don't want to be around children. I am not father material, natural or step-dad wise. It would be pointless for me to get involved with any woman who has or wants kids.

I wasn't making any comment about the quality of character of single mothers. Just stating my preference. I'd pass right over a single mom on a dating site. No need to waste my time or hers.
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You are absolutely right...and at least you're up front and honest about it! Kudos to you bro.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#13
#13
Lighthearted said:
Yea...I got that sis! Yahweh is one tough dude! Man! Lol
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No, not tough. Just bitter and jaded. I made too many concessions in the past for the sake of having or maintaining a relationship that I settled for far less than I really wanted because I figured it was "this, or nothing", and I was too scared to just have nothing and be very happy with it. I won't settle again.
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#14
Nov 13, 2013
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#14
Fat, ugly, lazy, self-centered, loads of personal baggage, bad habits, high maintenance (needy), immoral characteristics. When a woman writes something like; "I love to travel", it generally means she's going to cost you a fortune :). When she writes that she wants a man who can make her laugh, it means she has no sense of humor and needs someone to make her happy. If she enjoys quiet walks on the beach, it means you can't afford her unless you own beach front property. :)

Men generally want 3 things, and its not intimate moments reading books in front of a fireplace on cold winter nights... jmo
 
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17Bees

Senior Member
#15
Oct 14, 2016
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#15
I guess this is a little to the contrary, but I'm not crazy about a whole lot of caveats. Like some long list of unacceptable mannerisms. i think most people can pick up on undesirable behavior just from their profile. Smoking or a person's religion are usually stated, for instance. Sometimes I'll read a profile and they will list all the things that are unacceptable to her. It reads "if you're a sports fanatic or like to watch tv or not spiritual or are not liberal or have problems with hyphenated names, then don't bother ... blah blah". That example would be more than a red flag, but even less obvious "lists" can be a bit of a turn off.

I guess profiles are little bit of an art. You have to tell the truth, but also look good! How do you do that??
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#16
#16
Charismatic beliefs - I came out of that system and do not want it in my life again

Tats - I have a couple. Would like some more. But 98% of the time I find it masculine looking. I like women, not men.

Piercings - the ears are fine, long as it's not excessive. Anywhere else is a turn off.

Short hair - not a fan.

Smokes - bent on that rule before. Hated it.

Drinks - I don't drink. At all. Wouldn't want it in my house. Don't like being around it.

Cussing - a little here and there is one thing, but being part of regular speech, or used frequently is a turn off

Those are probably most. I find it more beneficial to know what you Don't want than what you do.
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#17
#17
This is where I am too. Not that you particularly care to know. Im just adding in
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
No, not tough. Just bitter and jaded. I made too many concessions in the past for the sake of having or maintaining a relationship that I settled for far less than I really wanted because I figured it was "this, or nothing", and I was too scared to just have nothing and be very happy with it. I won't settle again.
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Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#18
Jun 30, 2015
24,680
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#18
What would make me pass over a woman's dating profile? Smoking and being a non-Christian, without hesitation.
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#19
#19
I've never online dated...so I don't really know. I'll say this though, I'm attracted to all kinds of men. My first boyfriend was 6,3 and slim. I gotta say though, I loved that he was a foot taller than me! He had dark hair. Second one was 5,8 and much larger. He was Italian. The last one was around 5,10 and medium built. He had long blond hair. I don't think I would feel comfortable being with a guy who's extremely handsome. I'm the girl, so I want to be the pretty one out of the pair. :p

If I were online dating, I don't think I would be interested in these types of guys.

Non-Christians
A guy without a job
A guy who lives in another country
Maybe even a guy who lives like three states away
Guys who always want to be outside (I don't mind being outside, but I definitely prefer being indoors)
Democrats & Socialists
Guys who are a 1 year or more younger
A guy shorter than me
Guys who are obsessed with horror movies
Guys who want to have sexual intercourse before marriage
Guys who are friends with girls who are immodest (this says a lot about the guy and they're easy to spot on places like fb)
Guys who like pictures of girls who are immodest
Guys who have "experimented" (I'm talking sexually here although drugs are also a red flag)
Guys who have been to jail
Guys who smoke or do any drugs (Including pot)
Guys who drink a lot

Hmm...I didn't think I was picky, but maybe I am? Na, I don't think so. I wouldn't mind a single dad with 5 kids honestly. As long as he's not any of the above things. :p

I also want to point out that the above are not necessarily bad. Well some of them. It's just I really don't think I could handle those things in a partner.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#20
#20
Just catching up...thanks for sharing everyone, great responses!

I also want to point out that the above are not necessarily bad. Well some of them. It's just I really don't think I could handle those things in a partner.
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That's an excellent point Molly - for most of us we just have different standards for who we choose to be our partners, and usually its a lot more regimented than the standards we have for our friends and acquaintences.

(Like I don't think smokers are terrible people, I just can't date one because smoke really bothers my eyes.)
 
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