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M
In response to your first question, no where was it stated the second couple shouldn't reconcile; I simply noted that she was "extremely at fault" because she sought consolation outside of her marriage. In response to the second paragraph, it was stated in the first paragraph (of my response) that divorce was permitted biblically for adultery. No issue here.
No need for shock, as what you thought was said wasn't. lol
No need for shock, as what you thought was said wasn't. lol
You made it seem like only the first couple had a chance to reconcile...which is why I was kinda shocked. I don't think either couple should reconcile.
ZT, that looks like a woman who would cheat!
She needs a leash too.
One thought... accountability. Each partner in a marriage needs to be accountable to the other for almost everything, and accountable to another person of the same gender for almost everything, and anything not covered within the marriage. There should be no gaps. The friends should be able to ask about anything and get an honest answer, and be actively challenging the married persons on their other connections, web usage, thoughts, etc.
This is not foolproof... accountability is just one tool in the box for preventing infidelity, which is only one method by which the enemy would seek to break a marriage.
This is not foolproof... accountability is just one tool in the box for preventing infidelity, which is only one method by which the enemy would seek to break a marriage.
Y
I don't think it's possible to prevent cheating. If a person wants to cheat, they will cheat, and if they need to lie to themselves to justify in their own minds that they deserve to have sex outside of their relationship, then that's what they'll do.
Not to try and sound like the pharisee in the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector, but throughout all my relationships, I have never cheated nor even considered it. However, I have been cheated on by every single woman I've ever been with. When confronted with their transgression, what do you think they said? That's right, it was MY fault they cheated.
Ain't nothing a person can do to "cheat proof" a relationship. People have to see cheating as wrong, as hurtful, and people need to love each other enough to not want to hurt each other. It's amazing what a person can convince themselves of though when they want to, and it's a pity more people don't convince themselves to do the "right" thing instead of what merely feels good or strokes the ego.
Not to try and sound like the pharisee in the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector, but throughout all my relationships, I have never cheated nor even considered it. However, I have been cheated on by every single woman I've ever been with. When confronted with their transgression, what do you think they said? That's right, it was MY fault they cheated.
Ain't nothing a person can do to "cheat proof" a relationship. People have to see cheating as wrong, as hurtful, and people need to love each other enough to not want to hurt each other. It's amazing what a person can convince themselves of though when they want to, and it's a pity more people don't convince themselves to do the "right" thing instead of what merely feels good or strokes the ego.
U
There is no surefire prevention. Only ways to help minimize it.
But divorce in the church is not a new trend. For decades the church has had a slightly higher divorce rate than the world.
As I posted in another thread the most common reasons I've seen are infidelity and abuse. Porn is often a source of cheating, so that may be why there's an increase there.
Also people's attitudes and expectations about marriage and their spouse. Many have wring ideas about such things.
But divorce in the church is not a new trend. For decades the church has had a slightly higher divorce rate than the world.
As I posted in another thread the most common reasons I've seen are infidelity and abuse. Porn is often a source of cheating, so that may be why there's an increase there.
Also people's attitudes and expectations about marriage and their spouse. Many have wring ideas about such things.
Make sure you're both full- full of attention, full sexually, full of communication- full in every way. Ever been so full from a Thanksgiving dinner that you thought you'd never eat again? Well what if someone offered you a slice of pie at that moment? It would be so easy to say no, you wouldn't even want to look at it- because you are completely satisfied. Fill in what's missing so that you can be completely satisfied with each other.
That is a big part of it in America,for they do not value the relationship all that much,and people in general do not value each other,and have money,and material things,abounding,which they can get led away with that,and immorality up the wazoo,and can get led away with that,and people do not trust each other as much,and short tempered,and ill tempered,from all the booze,and drugs,they like to consume.
Instead of people looking at the spouse as very important,it is almost as if they are a plain Jane,and a dime a dozen to them.
People in general are not too important to each other,and they love to exalt themselves in America,and control,and boss,both male and female.
The female says,a man is not going to control me,but that is because she wants to control the man,and he is getting in her way of doing that.
America is a trip,and it seems like the all they do is run to and fro all for the sake of self,and it has been going on for so long that there is nobody special anymore,but the whole nation is lumped together as get all you can get,and forget everybody else.
So they can get married,have a relationship,and dump them fast,for nobody is special,but all people are dogs,that only care about themselves,and you cannot trust them,and look out for number one,and do not put so much effort in to the relationship,but hold back,for the other person might betray you and not give their all,so people do not want to lay it out on the line like years ago.
Parents against the children,children against the parents,male and female against each other,the whole country is selfish,arrogant,bossy,and controlling,that has to put self first,non trusting,loving immorality,and money,and material things.
Mat 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
Pro 30:11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
Pro 30:12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
Pro 30:13 There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.
Pro 30:14 There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.
Rev 3:14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
Rev 3:15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
Rev 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Rev 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:
Rev 3:18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
Rev 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
Rev 18:3 For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies.
Rev 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
Rev 18:5 For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities.
America loves sin like a big dog,and since it abounds so much in iniquity,far above any other nation,the love of many shall wax cold,and people heaping money to themselves like crazy,so the attitude is people basically care about themselves,with little regard for anybody else,so you do not care about me,I do not care about you.
So marriages,and relationships,are not very important to them,for the person they are with is not special,but like all the other dogs out in American society,but they do not want to be alone,but the person is not valued of great importance to them,because they are a plain Jane,a dime a dozen,and cannot really be trusted,for who knows how an American will act,for they are untrustworthy.
America abounds in iniquity something fierce,the love of many will wax cold,and people think a lot of marriages will work out.
Before technology,and companies could not branch out to make millions,and billions of dollars,people valued each other more,and they were special to each other,but after technology,and the counter culture movement,boom,there is a lot more money to be made,and people being more selfish,and greedy,and then people do not like each other as much,for the country is a bunch of dogs who only care for themselves,and everybody is running around trying to get all they can.
There is no more,there is sweet Suzy,she is so nice,and there's ole Joe,I like ole' Joe for he is a swell guy,but they have other things to say about them now,and Suzy,and Joe,do not act like they did years ago.
Since iniquity shall abound,the love of many shall wax cold,and people think that a lot of marriages are going to work out,especially with all the immorality that goes on,and is displayed.
Instead of people looking at the spouse as very important,it is almost as if they are a plain Jane,and a dime a dozen to them.
People in general are not too important to each other,and they love to exalt themselves in America,and control,and boss,both male and female.
The female says,a man is not going to control me,but that is because she wants to control the man,and he is getting in her way of doing that.
America is a trip,and it seems like the all they do is run to and fro all for the sake of self,and it has been going on for so long that there is nobody special anymore,but the whole nation is lumped together as get all you can get,and forget everybody else.
So they can get married,have a relationship,and dump them fast,for nobody is special,but all people are dogs,that only care about themselves,and you cannot trust them,and look out for number one,and do not put so much effort in to the relationship,but hold back,for the other person might betray you and not give their all,so people do not want to lay it out on the line like years ago.
Parents against the children,children against the parents,male and female against each other,the whole country is selfish,arrogant,bossy,and controlling,that has to put self first,non trusting,loving immorality,and money,and material things.
Mat 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.
Pro 30:11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
Pro 30:12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
Pro 30:13 There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.
Pro 30:14 There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.
Rev 3:14 And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
Rev 3:15 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
Rev 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Rev 3:17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:
Rev 3:18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
Rev 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
Rev 18:3 For all nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, and the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth are waxed rich through the abundance of her delicacies.
Rev 18:4 And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
Rev 18:5 For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities.
America loves sin like a big dog,and since it abounds so much in iniquity,far above any other nation,the love of many shall wax cold,and people heaping money to themselves like crazy,so the attitude is people basically care about themselves,with little regard for anybody else,so you do not care about me,I do not care about you.
So marriages,and relationships,are not very important to them,for the person they are with is not special,but like all the other dogs out in American society,but they do not want to be alone,but the person is not valued of great importance to them,because they are a plain Jane,a dime a dozen,and cannot really be trusted,for who knows how an American will act,for they are untrustworthy.
America abounds in iniquity something fierce,the love of many will wax cold,and people think a lot of marriages will work out.
Before technology,and companies could not branch out to make millions,and billions of dollars,people valued each other more,and they were special to each other,but after technology,and the counter culture movement,boom,there is a lot more money to be made,and people being more selfish,and greedy,and then people do not like each other as much,for the country is a bunch of dogs who only care for themselves,and everybody is running around trying to get all they can.
There is no more,there is sweet Suzy,she is so nice,and there's ole Joe,I like ole' Joe for he is a swell guy,but they have other things to say about them now,and Suzy,and Joe,do not act like they did years ago.
Since iniquity shall abound,the love of many shall wax cold,and people think that a lot of marriages are going to work out,especially with all the immorality that goes on,and is displayed.
P
Get your mind clear. No where marriage is a forever thing. Paul provides recommendations but no law. It's better to part ways than live in misery where the victim is not the couple in marriage rather the kids. Marriage is a beautiful reality only when it is between two compatible adults. I wish there was a blood test to determine compatibility before committing oneself to marriage.
Commitment is the key. I grew up in a broken home and my dad was barely in my life. Because of that, my greatest desire in life (besides growing closer to God everyday) is to have an amazing family and relationship with my wife.
I don't believe in divorce and I can say with 100% certainty that I would never cheat within my marriage or even while dating for that matter. The only reason I would divorce is if my wife cheated and that's because I despise infedelity so much.
I understand that marriages take work and in my opinion, putting in the work to make something that's special even greater, is part of the joy of marriage. I look forward to conquering obstacles with my partner, I look forward to the ups and the downs because it's all a part of the journey.
I just need to find the right one.
I don't believe in divorce and I can say with 100% certainty that I would never cheat within my marriage or even while dating for that matter. The only reason I would divorce is if my wife cheated and that's because I despise infedelity so much.
I understand that marriages take work and in my opinion, putting in the work to make something that's special even greater, is part of the joy of marriage. I look forward to conquering obstacles with my partner, I look forward to the ups and the downs because it's all a part of the journey.
I just need to find the right one.