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Christian Singles Forum

Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: Feeling lonely

  1. #1
    Senior Member toinena's Avatar
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    Default Feeling lonely

    One "friend" that shows up every now and then in my life is the feeling of loneliness. And I have noticed many here struggle with the same. Sometimes I feel less lonely when I get close to someone. And when that someone leaves, and he normally does, I try to keep my spirits up, and then it hits me. I am lonely. I will remain lonely. Or am I lonely? I have still my friends, my faith, my dog, my mum. Isn't that enough? Today my closest friend had to go to a shelter to get advice concerning an ex that doesn't leave her house. How can I be grumpy about being lonely when she has to escape her own home and stay away as much as possible, because she doesn't want to meet his accusations, his arguments, and his cultivated role as a victim? And I count my blessings. To be safe in my own house. To do what I like. To wear what I like. To whatch the TV when I like and choose what I like. To sleep late or to get up early. To take a nap. To sing along the many weird songs I have on my playlist. To eat a steak on a Monday, just because I can. I could make the list longer. But it already feels better.

    I am not wanting this to be a self pity party. But a place to encourage eachother and perhaps connect with others that gets the unwanted visitor once too often. Even though I want this as something positive, I want to share my heart ache song.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Conversationand's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    It get's to the best of us, loneliness does. If we're being honest, most of the frequent posters here probably have that for one of their reasons for being in this community. At least that's what I see as a common thread. I'm not too proud to say it. I get lonely. The world is a big place and I am a small person so it would seem not to be asking too much to not be lonely. Seeing that you're in that place, let me say... Hi. I see you. I know that I'm just a block of words on a screen, but I hope something in what I say can impart the feeling of a warm hug to you. It's nice to see you Toinena. How's life been treating you?
    seoulsearch, violakat and joefizz like this.

    Go and learn what this means: Hosea 6:6 "I desire mercy, not sacrifice"

  3. #3
    Senior Member zeroturbulence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, Toinena. I was feeling very lonely too, to the point of not wanting to go on with life, but your friendship and another's here has really helped me a lot. Before that, I felt abandoned by everyone (because I was). I meant to write you earlier but I got busy and fell ill yesterday.

    I'm over the illnesss (it was probably sun stroke from working outside too long in the heat)...but now I have a new, deeper problem. Please pray for me. I was thinking about just ending it all about an hour ago. I don't know why God is throwing these things at me (and yea yea all you people out there that say God doesn't do that, well tell that to someone who's been dealing with one new pile or carp after another!). Sorry, didn't mean to get angry here, but I'm not in the mood for any judgement right now. (but I'm sure someone here will stoop low enough to bring it anyway...).

    I hope you feel better, Toinena. [[[[hugs]]]]
    violakat likes this.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member zeroturbulence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Sorry Toinena, I didn't mean to outright ask you to pray for me. I mean that as a general request to anyone reading it. Thank u for your friendship... I'll shut up now.
    joefizz likes this.
    My dad was the greatest dad I could have ever asked for. Thank you, Dad..

    "If you talk about scripture more than you talk about God, then you've missed the point!!!"
    - A Retired Minister
    Quote Originally Posted by loverofjesus27 View Post
    Who owns this site? Why is it bad to have fun?? And where is Harpy Eagle ??



  5. #5
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    In my case, I am a 100% socially awkward loner, so I very very very very VERY rarely feel lonely, so I honestly can't relate all that much, but I hope things get better for you soon.
    joefizz likes this.
    The Discoverer of the Slightly Traumatised Italian Meatball Printers.

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    ​I deleted my testimony link, because people keep bumping it back up... :/

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    This is an interesting coincidence. I was reading the OP of this thread on my phone. And the very next song my phone played was a Crabb Family song, "Help Me."

    I get so caught up in life's little problems
    I start buying into believing I got them
    But I really don't
    Cause I can pick up the paper any day of the week
    And read about people much worse off than me
    Needing hope

    I get so wrapped up worrying about myself
    I forget about a great big ole world full of somebody else

    Well I'm just one man
    With these two hands
    And I'm ready to reach, I'm ready to touch
    So much I can do
    That I haven't done
    Lord help me help someone

    seoulsearch and toinena like this.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

  7. #7
    MrChris
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Quote Originally Posted by toinena View Post
    One "friend" that shows up every now and then in my life is the feeling of loneliness. And I have noticed many here struggle with the same. Sometimes I feel less lonely when I get close to someone. And when that someone leaves, and he normally does, I try to keep my spirits up, and then it hits me. I am lonely. I will remain lonely. Or am I lonely? I have still my friends, my faith, my dog, my mum. Isn't that enough? Today my closest friend had to go to a shelter to get advice concerning an ex that doesn't leave her house. How can I be grumpy about being lonely when she has to escape her own home and stay away as much as possible, because she doesn't want to meet his accusations, his arguments, and his cultivated role as a victim? And I count my blessings. To be safe in my own house. To do what I like. To wear what I like. To whatch the TV when I like and choose what I like. To sleep late or to get up early. To take a nap. To sing along the many weird songs I have on my playlist. To eat a steak on a Monday, just because I can. I could make the list longer. But it already feels better.

    I am not wanting this to be a self pity party. But a place to encourage eachother and perhaps connect with others that gets the unwanted visitor once too often. Even though I want this as something positive, I want to share my heart ache song.
    I think that loneliness is caused when you crave for people to understand you intimately, but in all efforts to share who you are to others, fail.

    I know this, no one understands me better than the one who created me.

  8. #8
    Senior Member joefizz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Quote Originally Posted by WineRose View Post
    In my case, I am a 100% socially awkward loner, so I very very very very VERY rarely feel lonely, so I honestly can't relate all that much, but I hope things get better for you soon.
    translation-You are shy,talk really fast,forget to breathe,and unshy when a conversation gets started I believe I know someone like that...-Joefizz
    We are all family in God's eyes,so please at least try to get along,sincerely, a child of God.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Dino246's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Praying for you, Zero-T.

    I've been in the lonely place. Before my marriage ended, I frequently felt a deep loneliness, because my ex was either away physically (quite often) or away emotionally when she was home (which might be worse!). I felt it often after the split, because my kids pulled away from me as well. To this day, over four years later, I don't know why. I had a few long phone conversations with my folks during that first year.

    It still creeps in occasionally. I fight it by praying, getting myself busy with something, calling a friend, or even by logging in here and interacting.

    I'd like to suggest that the "opposite" of loneliness is not companionship, but a combination of joy and hope.

  10. #10
    Senior Member toinena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynx View Post
    This is an interesting coincidence. I was reading the OP of this thread on my phone. And the very next song my phone played was a Crabb Family song, "Help Me."

    I get so caught up in life's little problems
    I start buying into believing I got them
    But I really don't
    Cause I can pick up the paper any day of the week
    And read about people much worse off than me
    Needing hope

    I get so wrapped up worrying about myself
    I forget about a great big ole world full of somebody else

    Well I'm just one man
    With these two hands
    And I'm ready to reach, I'm ready to touch
    So much I can do
    That I haven't done
    Lord help me help someone
    Very beautiful. Thank you Lynx. You and music... there is always a song, right?

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    I know how you feel. Sometimes I get lonely. Then I feel guilty because compared to some people I am a spoiled brat. When I start to count my blessings, I realize how many things I have to be thankful for. And I think about the poor people who have lost everything in hurricanes and my house is still intact. God is good!
    seoulsearch likes this.

  12. #12
    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    When I first joined this site I had lost my late wife while I was living in Maine due to a pulmonary embolism in the heart at the age of 59. As her husband I was the one who told the doctor to remove the respirator that was the only thing to keep her alive. I told her that I love her and would see her again one day. She died a minute later. I went outside in dark, and foggy mist and cried my eyes out. A week later I resigned my job, packed up my clothes and caught a bus to Orlando where my family was. She was my best friend in life and now I was alone.

    The main reason for joining this site was because of loneliness and the first thread I created was called "Quite Lonely" As most regular posters who know me know that I met my current wife on this site and I'm lonely no more. She is my best friend too.
    M & M's melt in your mouth and not in your hands.

  13. #13
    Member JamesD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Imagine being married and feeling lonely. It's a terrible feeling and I lived through it for 12 years. I'm sorry sister that you are feeling this way. Know that you are not alone and it's times like these where you can focus on the Lord on your relationship with him. He is the living well...the light and water that give us life.

    My wife left me for a guy she met online. We were together since high school. She is pregnant by him too. I should be depressed right now..and I was for a little while. But I chose to focus on my Father in heaven. I was lonely for many years even with her around. Now sometimes I feel like this is better. I know God doesn't want divorce. But I feel psychologically and emotionally better than before. Maybe God hasn't brought you a man yet because you really are better off alone right now. This is how I feel. I am better off alone than married to my ex.

    It is a miracle. I really do wish her the best and hope she finds happiness in the Lord. I think that is what I'm learning right now...happiness in the Lord and the Lord only.

    Toinena, I'll be praying for you sister. You can already see that you are blessed. Focus on those blessings and they will give you joy.
    JesusLives and toinena like this.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Most of the time for myself, loneliness is peacefulness.
    Lynx likes this.

  15. #15
    Senior Member violakat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    Zero, I was in a very bad place last year, and almost ended leaving Christianity altogether towards the end of last. I realized at the beginning of last year how far away from God I was, and how through the last few years I had stopped trusting, even though I still believed. And there were times I literally would just cry out to God, and not feel like He was even hearing me. And while all this was going on, I was seeing so-called "Christians" show nothing but condemnations towards non-Christians, not to mention mocking them. It came to a point where I just grew sick of everything, and was completely revolted with the thought of being apart of a religion where people claimed to be one thing, but acted the complete opposite. And I hate saying it, but I did nearly turn my on God completely and walk away from Christianity. (Even though at the time, I didn't think I was rejecting God, just Christians, I know now that wasn't the case.)

    Anyway, I'm not really were I'm going with this except that maybe to say, if everyone was honest with themselves, they have to admit that at times they have reached rock bottom, where they don't even know if they can go on. You're at that point. Please Just hold on and know I will pray for you.


    QUOTE=zeroturbulence;3273193]I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, Toinena. I was feeling very lonely too, to the point of not wanting to go on with life, but your friendship and another's here has really helped me a lot. Before that, I felt abandoned by everyone (because I was). I meant to write you earlier but I got busy and fell ill yesterday.

    I'm over the illnesss (it was probably sun stroke from working outside too long in the heat)...but now I have a new, deeper problem. Please pray for me. I was thinking about just ending it all about an hour ago. I don't know why God is throwing these things at me (and yea yea all you people out there that say God doesn't do that, well tell that to someone who's been dealing with one new pile or carp after another!). Sorry, didn't mean to get angry here, but I'm not in the mood for any judgement right now. (but I'm sure someone here will stoop low enough to bring it anyway...).

    I hope you feel better, Toinena. [[[[hugs]]]][/QUOTE]
    A violin can only make your soul cry. But a viola can make your soul soar.

  16. #16
    Senior Member violakat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Feeling lonely

    I want to add that what I was saying was not that anyone who goes through loneliness or depression is far from God. But more that almost everyone does go through this at times.
    Quote Originally Posted by violakat View Post
    Zero, I was in a very bad place last year, and almost ended leaving Christianity altogether towards the end of last. I realized at the beginning of last year how far away from God I was, and how through the last few years I had stopped trusting, even though I still believed. And there were times I literally would just cry out to God, and not feel like He was even hearing me. And while all this was going on, I was seeing so-called "Christians" show nothing but condemnations towards non-Christians, not to mention mocking them. It came to a point where I just grew sick of everything, and was completely revolted with the thought of being apart of a religion where people claimed to be one thing, but acted the complete opposite. And I hate saying it, but I did nearly turn my on God completely and walk away from Christianity. (Even though at the time, I didn't think I was rejecting God, just Christians, I know now that wasn't the case.)

    Anyway, I'm not really were I'm going with this except that maybe to say, if everyone was honest with themselves, they have to admit that at times they have reached rock bottom, where they don't even know if they can go on. You're at that point. Please Just hold on and know I will pray for you.


    QUOTE=zeroturbulence;3273193]I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, Toinena. I was feeling very lonely too, to the point of not wanting to go on with life, but your friendship and another's here has really helped me a lot. Before that, I felt abandoned by everyone (because I was). I meant to write you earlier but I got busy and fell ill yesterday.

    I'm over the illnesss (it was probably sun stroke from working outside too long in the heat)...but now I have a new, deeper problem. Please pray for me. I was thinking about just ending it all about an hour ago. I don't know why God is throwing these things at me (and yea yea all you people out there that say God doesn't do that, well tell that to someone who's been dealing with one new pile or carp after another!). Sorry, didn't mean to get angry here, but I'm not in the mood for any judgement right now. (but I'm sure someone here will stoop low enough to bring it anyway...).

    I hope you feel better, Toinena. [[[[hugs]]]]
    [/QUOTE]
    A violin can only make your soul cry. But a viola can make your soul soar.

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