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Pray on it and keep reading God's word. Be sure it's not just a feeling that could be mistaken as God.
The only advice I could think to give you is to just meet people of the opposite sex and consider dating after you get to know them. Ask your friends if they could introduce you to some new people, maybe invite your friends to hang out somewhere and ask them to invite someone they know.
The only advice I could think to give you is to just meet people of the opposite sex and consider dating after you get to know them. Ask your friends if they could introduce you to some new people, maybe invite your friends to hang out somewhere and ask them to invite someone they know.
M
Set boundaries. Don't go into a man's house alone. I know this sounds silly, but if you're having trouble with sexual activities, you can prevent it. Don't put yourself into a situation where you are tempted. Maybe only hold hands and hug...but don't kiss. Once you feel more comfortable with a man, consider a kiss. Maybe just a peck...making out can lead to more. Take things slow. I would recommend only dating men from your church or those men you know that have a heart for Jesus. If he's of the world, he will lead you astray.
Read the Word and go to church. Do not neglect these important parts of your life. Also, pray. Ask God to help you...even if you have to do it 10 times a day.
Read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Also Boundaries by Henry Cloud. Oh and The Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh. Those are all good books that I got a lot out of. Some people don't like Harris' books. Give him a chance and form an opinion yourself.
Check out Andy Stanley's series "The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating." It's on youtube. There's also a book by the same name.
We'll be praying for you! I think it's great that you're wanting to change your lifestyle. It's really wonderful.
Read the Word and go to church. Do not neglect these important parts of your life. Also, pray. Ask God to help you...even if you have to do it 10 times a day.
Read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Also Boundaries by Henry Cloud. Oh and The Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh. Those are all good books that I got a lot out of. Some people don't like Harris' books. Give him a chance and form an opinion yourself.
Check out Andy Stanley's series "The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating." It's on youtube. There's also a book by the same name.
We'll be praying for you! I think it's great that you're wanting to change your lifestyle. It's really wonderful.
Intimacy in the absence of love is just physical gratification, and is void of any lasting relationship. Its wise to first try and meet a mate, instead of mating with someone you meet. Otherwise your putting the horse before the cart, and that's not the order God prescribed. Violating God's progressive order (1.meet, 2.love, 3.marriage, 4.sex) only leads to beguilement, illegitimate children, venereal disease, etc.
That would work with me. 
Lemonadeanyone, welcome to the CC (Christian Chat) Singles forum, where every conversation eventually revolves around food.
As I have never been on a date I have no advice on the matter at hand, but I wish you luck in your endeavor.
P
Hi Lemonadeanyone,
I have been where you are at, and I am sure I will be again, being single and all,(yes even at 60!) LOL
When I really don't know the answer, of course I go to the Word, study it, ponder on it, Pray on it.
Please remember our Lord is a personal God, and He brings to each of us with our own personalities, what He knows
in His wisdom,exactly what we need, and what we can easily attain.
He is so awesome in that aspect!
What He opened my eyes to was amazing, and now it is not a problem for me, should the situation arise.
" And the two became one"
(This is not just physical, but also Spiritual.)
Key word, Spiritual
What I was brought was this:
That we are all spiritual beings, serving God and not serving God.
This is important as we truly do need to be very careful, not to "become one" with non believers.
Im speaking of single people here.
We walk in the light, they walk in the dark.
Just as we all did at one point in our lives.
I asked myself,
Where did you walk when you were in darkness?
I shuttered!
I don't know about you, but I struggle, stumble and fall short, daily.
So has that person standing in front of you.
The hiccup here is that you don't know where he has tread!
What has his spirit been in to, up to and still doing?
If I am struggling in my own stuff, do I really want to take on another's
that I have no clue of what, where, how or when or if he even cares about that aspect.
So I told myself...look closely...with your heart and mind.
Do I want that with me spiritually for the rest of my days?
Cause that is what I am doing..when I "become one"
I think not...nope, nada, no can do!
Not only would I be making my walk harder, but his as well.
Because now he has mine as well
I took it to the next step:
If I were to peel back that "flesh suit"...what would I see?
That gave me a sobering thought....
So many Scriptures came to mind, to many to share, but I felt an overwhelming
sense of joy!
Scripture after scripture came flooding in, that was one long Bible study that day!
The truth revealed!
I guess you could say, once I was brought the truth of what was really happening..
beyond the physical...I was set free.
My desire was no longer for what my eyes see, or what my hormones wanted.
But what Jesus wanted for me.
The desire of my heart..to be truly loved for who I am in Christ.
Not who I am in the flesh.
I hope this helps, or maybe give you hope that you're not alone in your thoughts on this.
I have been where you are at, and I am sure I will be again, being single and all,(yes even at 60!) LOL
When I really don't know the answer, of course I go to the Word, study it, ponder on it, Pray on it.
Please remember our Lord is a personal God, and He brings to each of us with our own personalities, what He knows
in His wisdom,exactly what we need, and what we can easily attain.
He is so awesome in that aspect!
What He opened my eyes to was amazing, and now it is not a problem for me, should the situation arise.
" And the two became one"
(This is not just physical, but also Spiritual.)
Key word, Spiritual
What I was brought was this:
That we are all spiritual beings, serving God and not serving God.
This is important as we truly do need to be very careful, not to "become one" with non believers.
Im speaking of single people here.
We walk in the light, they walk in the dark.
Just as we all did at one point in our lives.
I asked myself,
Where did you walk when you were in darkness?
I shuttered!
I don't know about you, but I struggle, stumble and fall short, daily.
So has that person standing in front of you.
The hiccup here is that you don't know where he has tread!
What has his spirit been in to, up to and still doing?
If I am struggling in my own stuff, do I really want to take on another's
that I have no clue of what, where, how or when or if he even cares about that aspect.
So I told myself...look closely...with your heart and mind.
Do I want that with me spiritually for the rest of my days?
Cause that is what I am doing..when I "become one"
I think not...nope, nada, no can do!
Not only would I be making my walk harder, but his as well.
Because now he has mine as well
I took it to the next step:
If I were to peel back that "flesh suit"...what would I see?
That gave me a sobering thought....
So many Scriptures came to mind, to many to share, but I felt an overwhelming
sense of joy!
Scripture after scripture came flooding in, that was one long Bible study that day!
The truth revealed!
I guess you could say, once I was brought the truth of what was really happening..
beyond the physical...I was set free.
My desire was no longer for what my eyes see, or what my hormones wanted.
But what Jesus wanted for me.
The desire of my heart..to be truly loved for who I am in Christ.
Not who I am in the flesh.
I hope this helps, or maybe give you hope that you're not alone in your thoughts on this.
T
I long for dating without sexual intimacy. I know, and would like, that intimacy in a marriage. I guess I have been longing to be loved and to love for so many years, that I have had difficulties finding the breaks. The fear of rejection, I think, was stronger than my gut feeling to say no. Luckily it has "only" been online, but still I am ashamed of some things I have done. For me, I need a man that has the same level, or preferably stronger, of commitment.
J
What's wrong with prunes? I like them. I could eat a pound of dark cherries and two cups of prunes and not have any problems. I don't understand all this hating on prunes...
Lemonadeanyone, welcome to the CC (Christian Chat) Singles forum, where every conversation eventually revolves around food. As I have never been on a date I have no advice on the matter at hand, but I wish you luck in your endeavor.
Lemonadeanyone, welcome to the CC (Christian Chat) Singles forum, where every conversation eventually revolves around food.
As I have never been on a date I have no advice on the matter at hand, but I wish you luck in your endeavor.
ok how bout"I don't have a belly button"!?
My advice is to not date anyone that you would not consider marrying. If you do find the one and only it is best to marry rather than burn with passion. This would mean a short engagement because after a certain age if you don't know what you really want in a man you may never will. Pray for God to search and find a loving and faithful man of your hearts desire and be prepared to act if were to happen. No premarital sex during the dating stage but I'm sure that there will be plenty of snuggling and hugging as this is a desirable part of the process. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
U
It's no special "calling". This concept is clearly stated in the bible. A calling tends to suggest something that God picks specific individuals for.
But the good news is you have already taken the first step. Realizing what Christians are expected to do as a fruit of our salvation and wanting to live it out as God intended.
There are things people can do to help minimize temptations, but at the end of the day it boils down to our choices. The number one and most important thing you can do is to reinforce this decision in your own mind. Memorize scriptures on the subject.
One thing I find that helps me with habits is thinking what I want outside of the moment of temptation. Every chance you get reinforce the belief that you don't want to have sex with a conscious thought. And back it up with a scripture. When possible say it out loud.
Also it helps, on top of whatever tips others here may give you to avoid things, to know what you will say if you still find yourself in that situation. What will you tell the other person, how will you respond? The more you have planned out and rehearsed in your mind the easier it will be because you won't have to figure it out in the heat of the moment.
And, lastly, don't date anyone that expresses and desire or willingness to have sex. Even among Christians this may be difficult, but at the end of the day will you rather have honored your desires or God?
It's not an easy road, and you are not alone in the struggle.
But the good news is you have already taken the first step. Realizing what Christians are expected to do as a fruit of our salvation and wanting to live it out as God intended.
There are things people can do to help minimize temptations, but at the end of the day it boils down to our choices. The number one and most important thing you can do is to reinforce this decision in your own mind. Memorize scriptures on the subject.
One thing I find that helps me with habits is thinking what I want outside of the moment of temptation. Every chance you get reinforce the belief that you don't want to have sex with a conscious thought. And back it up with a scripture. When possible say it out loud.
Also it helps, on top of whatever tips others here may give you to avoid things, to know what you will say if you still find yourself in that situation. What will you tell the other person, how will you respond? The more you have planned out and rehearsed in your mind the easier it will be because you won't have to figure it out in the heat of the moment.
And, lastly, don't date anyone that expresses and desire or willingness to have sex. Even among Christians this may be difficult, but at the end of the day will you rather have honored your desires or God?
It's not an easy road, and you are not alone in the struggle.
T
It sounds like a drag, and in our day and age it isn't very popular what with all the talk of freedom in Christ etc., but it is actually overwhelmingly helpful to have very concrete rules worked out between you and your bf. And embarrassing as this seems, I usually let a few accountability partners know them as well. Pray about them carefully, and then follow them. Because you know? There are going to be times--more and more of them the closer you get to your bf--when you can't trust your feelings and instincts; when the devil is strong at work and the Spirit seems to be terrifyingly silent in your heart. So that's when the rules come into play.
This IS the biblical choice, and God will reward it either in this life, or the next.. How many rules you set is up to you; if it is something you struggle with, you may need more. Sometimes as you get closer to the person, you discover new problems and need to change or add rules. Rules and guidelines are not dirty and offensive, they can be very helpful as long as we remain humble and teachable.
Anyway, that's something that works for me. God bless you!
This IS the biblical choice, and God will reward it either in this life, or the next.
. How many rules you set is up to you; if it is something you struggle with, you may need more. Sometimes as you get closer to the person, you discover new problems and need to change or add rules. Rules and guidelines are not dirty and offensive, they can be very helpful as long as we remain humble and teachable.Anyway, that's something that works for me. God bless you!
