Good Guys versus Bad Boyz book

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Batman1978

Guest
#21
Good day everyone.

Once again this book doesn't change anything of your principles and to greatkraw and eugenius I undestand where you coming from and respect your views as I would most probably also react in the same manner as you if I read the title alone, but as i said before please do not judge a book by its cover. Its great to quote all the favourite scriptures about "wait on God" and "Seek ye first the kingdom..." but if you had a friend that liked a woman and soooo much wanted to be with her, and he being a great man of God and she just a wonderful woman of God but he always stike out with girls coz he don't know how to approach a woman, then what are you gonna "teach" him to help him to win that woman over?

There are so many broken marriages out there and children growing up in broken homes, if a son particularly didn't have a father figure in his life he will most likely grow up confused and with little confidence, and that my friends is the key to winning a woman, CONFIDENCE, if you don't have that you are most likely gonna fail in alot of stuff, and this book teaches you how to elevate your confidence so that you could win a woman...its more than just a book that teaches you to win women, it helps you in every area of your life. I'm sure that in your own surroundings you have noticed that there's a major difference between guys that have/had good father figures while growing up to the guys who had no or a poor father figure when growing up. Its the same with woman. Pastor Michael Pitts of Cornerstone church in the USA explained this: he was referring to Adam and Eve when they were still in the Garden of Eden,when the snake convinced Eve to eat the forbidden fruit (Adam wasnt there at the time). He said that if u dont spend time with your wife/daughter then some snake(bad boy) will.

So far the people that know about my book and haven't read it are reacting in the way you guys are, but i got good reports from those who have read it. If you would see the title: "Women are from Venus, and Men are from Mars" I bet you would be freaked out too as it might come across as a horoscope book but its one of the leading Christian relationship books around, so please give me the benefit of the doubt.

As for Vidy, thanx for asking, below in red is some exctracts from the book, two from Good Guys' mistakes that we do, and two from Bad Boyz traits, let me know what you think:

1. Good Guys Traits

1.7 Desperate; Looking for long-term relationships
I’ve tied these two in as the one is to do with the other. Women are looking for sweet and reliable guys that could give them an everlasting relationship and ten-to-one you are that guy but bringing that across to her is a totally different story. Any person can see if a guy/woman is desperate…especially someone that is so desperate to get married. Its on their face, its in their speech, you can see it in their eyes, and frankly it scares the living daylights out of a person even though that person wants the same thing as the desperate person.

One of the mistakes Good Guys make is that if they got it right to get a date with a girl they make up their minds that “this is it” and that they are gonna marry this girl, and they blatantly show it. They bring up the marriage topic every 5 minutes at the dinner table on the first couple of dates, they look into the girls eyes all lovingly saying how good a husband and father they can be to her and their “future kids”. In essence you are scaring the girl away. Every woman wants a knight in shining armour to come out on nowhere and sweep them off their feet, get married, ride into the sunset and live happily ever after…but in reality if you do that to a girl you will freak her out. They will send out a massive man-hunt to catch you and throw you in jail. Now I know there are isolated circumstances where both the man and woman knew from the beginning that they want to be together and had a happy marriage ever after but I am guessing it didn’t happen to you. If it does then congratulations but there’s a very big chance that you will scare the woman off with those actions.

Tips for not being desperate: be content with yourself and know that you will find and win that woman over one day. Make up your mind to slow it down a bit and get to know her when you do meet a woman you like. Know in your heart that even if you don’t get a woman that you will be ok and that God still cares about you. Strengthen your relationship with God and with yourself…it’s said that if you can’t be alone and content with yourself then you will be a problem to others, take time to be with yourself every week. My “me” day is Friday nights: I rent DVDs, buy food and I just spend time with myself and now and then my nephew will join me. If you are restless and have to be out with your friends or someone everyday or weekend or at every party, then you have a problem…don’t be so restless. The more you are content with yourself the more that desperateness will be wiped out of your eyes coz you won’t need anyone to make you happy as you are happy already…and in that way when you get your woman you will make her extra happy because you are content, confident, and happy already.


1.5 Too Superspiritual
Now I love God and He loves me. We are tight and most of the time I disappoint Him but He always finds it in His heart to forgive me. I would say that our relationship is more or less balanced…not perfect coz whose relationship with God is ever perfect…but it’s ok. But I don’t have to talk about what He has done for me all the time. And I don’t have to listen to gospel music, wear the WWJD band around my wrist, the “Jesus died for me on the Cross” t-shirt, use the Christian slang with everyone, etc. all the time to prove that I am a Christian to me or everyone.

Now many people can prove me wrong but in my opinion and experience I would say that it’s a “heart thing” and you project what is in your heart without saying a word. People can mostly tell what type of person you are just by looking at you. There’s just something different about you and people know it. It’s the light of Jesus shining from within your heart, the Holy Spirit in you, and God’s mighty hand upon you. Paul even said that he is no “Super-apostles” (2Corinthians 12vs11) meaning that no-one is different and that we all just part of a Great Commission that Jesus gave us (Matthew 28vs16-20). So you don’t have to go way out to prove that you are a Christian.

Girls often complain that Christian guys aren’t real enough. In fact they say that they are false. They hide behind their scriptural jargon and never show their true self. I was one of them too. I thought that if I am involved in five ministries, pray well in front of others, be a good youth leader, be able to quote as many scriptures as I can, etc. then girls would fall for me left, right and centre. To an extent it is appealing to some Christian women but the real and balanced ones wants real and balanced Christian guys…not saying that you shouldn’t pray in public or be involved in church work. Now it’s good to study the Word of God and its good to feed your soul but the bible says in Ecclesiastes 3vs 1-8 that there’s a time for everything. Use the scriptures wisely, use what is taught to you in this book and everyday wisely.

Let me give you an analogy of KNOWLEGDE and WISDOM in the form of a light bulb and electrical switch in your bedroom: Knowledge is knowing how the light bulb and switch work…you turn on the electrical switch and it allows electricity to move at a super high speed to the bulb making the element burn thus giving off light to your bedroom. Wisdom is KNOWING when to activate that electrical switch…its of no use activating that switch during the day when the sun is shining into your room, you don’t need it and you are wasting energy, the wise thing to do is to switch on the bulb in the evening when its dark or whenever it rains and the sun is hidden, etc. My point is: use your knowledge wisely and when it is applicable.

One of the examples I can give you where we can show that Christian guys are superspiritual is when a lady asks a guy; “Hello Byron, how are you today?” Byron’s answer would be; “Patricia, The Lord is still on the throne.” The girl didn’t ask Byron if the Lord was still on the throne, she asked how he was…as a matter of fact; I think we all would be in trouble if the Lord wasn’t on the throne. Rather answer her with this; “I’m fine Patricia and how are you today?” Another example is; “So how have your day been Byron?” Bryon’s answer; “The devil persecuted me by working through my manager but the Lord will bring me victory and revival is on its way.” Mmmmmm…okay, rather answer her in this way; “My day have been hectic but I’m all the more better seeing you now Patricia.” Do you get my point? Be real, you don’t have to show your true feelings but keep your answers and conversations to the point and relevant to the topic.

2. Bad Boyz traits

2.8 Makes them feel like they are wanted and special…like they can identify with them. Manipulative/Deceptive.
With being charming, flirtatious, and persuasive Bad Boyz often use manipulative actions and deceptive methods to stalk their prey. They have an ability to see which women is “easy meat”, which are lonely, restricted by their parents, which girls are bored with the norm, parent (daddy) problems, are bored in their marriage, sexually deprived, etc. They mostly prey on these women; make them feel like they are special, that they can identify with them as they are also social outcasts. With this they can easily draw women away, divide and conquer is their motto. Take the women slowly and slowly away from the norm and show them a world that seems more exciting. They deceive women by convincing them that they would have an exciting and fulfilling life with them, often painting a picture of a never ending blissful paradise life, making unrealistic promises that seem so real to women.
How can this help you? First rule is that you shouldn’t be deceptive. Be honest with her no matter what. Don’t ever make promises you can’t keep. What you can learn from this is to make your life exciting as possible so that when she steps into your world she will be excited to stay there, I’m not saying you should spend thousands on her to keep her happy but just make your world as interesting as possible. Remember to be a breath of fresh air to her, but also mysterious…someone who is not bound by the norm. And yes, make her feel wanted…tell her that you want to be with her. Make her feel like she is the princess of your world but mind that you do not overdo the sweet toothache thing discussed in 1.6 Too Sweet. We’ll talk more about that later.

2.9 Renegade; Short tempered; Carries dangerous weapons; Rebellious; Unfaithful; Despises Authority; Bad reputation; Disrespectful; No remorse; Bad credit rating; Intimidating; Parents despises them
These are all traits that make up the core of the Bad Boyz. Some of it does attract women and for the main reason that they see it as a project to change the characters of the Bad Boyz but it seldom happens. Delving into these traits to use them to win women over will only draw you into a world that will moist probably destroy you. I have found that being a Good Guy and using the knowledge in this book have given me a well over-advantage against the Bad Boyz and that is all you will need. And if you struggle with any of those traits mentioned above I would suggest that you seek help to conquer them.

 
V

Vidy

Guest
#22
I liked it =) This is honestly a bunch of stuff I've already figured out myself over the year (I'm 17 rofl), but then again, I've been a "good guy" that's never had trouble with girls, either ~_o I'll be wary about the marriage thing, though, 'cause I DO want to get married fairly young, and have a tendency to put a slight rush on things.

Before I go on about my critique, side-question- Would it be a GOOD idea or BAD idea if you have this tendency to, fairly early on in the relationship, have a strait conversation with her and say "I have a tendency to rush things. If I happen to do that, instead of being freaked out and leaving, can you just knock some sense into me? It won't take much, promise =P"

Now, back to the book... I agree on the superspiritual thing. YES, you should have a right relationship with God and don't be ashamed to hide it. But those examples you provided were PERFECT. Shoving God into every sentence in your life is about as productive as insulting Him every time He comes up in conversation naturally, tbh. It gives a bad name to Him and His disciples =/ On a side-note, I heard a similar wisdom thingy. "Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad." =D =D

And I see what you did in the first Bad Boyz section "Please refer to section 1.6," and I see how you left that out in the Good Guys (you gave us 1.5 and 1.7). Sneaky, sneaky XD But yeah, I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head there, even if it doesn't give anything super specific. It IS kinda vague now that I think about it, but as long as it gets the "Don't be a straight-up boring dude all the time" point across, that's good XD Last section was also perfect.




EDIT: Also, I'd like to thank you for the little excerpt. It was a TON more that I expected. When I asked, I just expected the titles to each section with no detail, but this was ok too =P And also, you had a coupla typos. In one section, you type "coz" (MIGHT just be how you type it, but 'cuz or 'cause is probably better). And in the last section, you put "moist" instead of "most" =P
 
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Batman1978

Guest
#23
Hey Vidy.

Thanx for your reply and for the positive feedback. Regarding the typos I tried to use modern day language that we are accustomed to, like "LOL" "BTW" etc, stuff like that. I didn't want to come across as an expert or some kind of relationship professor psychologist, the tone i set for the book is more of me and you sitting around a coffee table or barbecue just sharing stuff, me sharing what i know with you, and showing you that I've also made heavy mistakes in the past and that i was more than once in the same boat as you.

As for your age, this book's theme is "seek for wisdom and knowledge to succeed" so if you have the wisdom and knowledge to win a woman to become your wife and be able to have and maintain a successful marriage, plus have consent from God and whoever, then by all means go for it. I guess marriages fail coz of a lack of knowlegde so try to get as much knowlegde as possible, but someone once gave me this advice: he said that all the marriage classes, books, relationship camps, etc. in the world won't be able to prepare you for the everyday trials and tribulations of a marriage, and remember that its two totally different personalities thats becoming one and that can cause some friction. But as i said marriage is rewarding.

Believe me, i wanted to get married ever since i was 15 and even up to today, but I've realised theres so much other things you can do when you're single. But as my pastor taught me: different strokes for different folks, and every couples' love story is different from the next so you shouldn't compare yours and your partner's relationship to the next.

I don't clame to be a relationship expert, i just know how to get you the girl, as i said in my book you would have to do your own research on how to maintain an EXISTING relationship from thereon.

As for the rest of the book, I gave you those extracts as the others wouldn't be relevent to read now as the book builds up to it, so you wouldn't understand it standing on its own, its like as if you read only one line in the bible "if you sin you go to hell" but you didn't read the rest: "but Jesus died for you on the cross and took that sin away", get the point.

As for 1.6, well here it is...i didn't also wanna give too much but for you its ok:
1.6 Too Sweet
Women complain that Good Guys are way too sweet. They give the girls toothache of there over sweetness. They kill the wooing with their sweetness. Women like sweet guys but you should also balance your “sweetness”. For example; if a woman is beautiful and you tell her this she will blush and say that you are sweet. But if you tell it to her every half an hour she will get fed up of it.

Good Guys tend to think that if we treat women like princesses all of the time we are setting the standard and that they will fall inlove with how cute and sweet we are…not the case, refer to 1.2 Loyal/Faithful and 1.3 Very or Over-friendly. Balance your “sweetness”; tell her every now and then that you think she is a princess and that she is beautiful. Also don’t say it in a way with your eyes glistening as if you are psychotically inlove with her. Say it in a controlled but meaningful tone letting her know that you admire and adore her. I like writing love songs for girls and they are over the moon about it. They brag to their friends and family that I have written a love song for them and that I am so sweet, but imagine I write a woman a love song everyday…it’s like having Christmas everyday; you will kill that feeling of excitement and expectation.

So relax and once again control and balance your sweetness. I know you just trying to be yourself but if you gonna be your full version of your sweetness you are going to chase this girl away, understand my sweetnessJJJJ


By the way, if you do like it I want to ask you to go to the Good Guys versus Bad Boyz book Facebook group and join, and invite your friends too please.

Let me know what you think of the above extract.

Peace.
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#24
Lol, totally wasn't expecting that XD

But yeah, the "Too Sweet" thing seems right for the most part. As for the "just saying it straight," I'm not 100% sure about that. I mean, you DON'T need to come across as a psycho for sure, but I think it's appropriate to look affectionately into her eyes, possibly in an embrace, and say "You. Are. BEAUTIFUL." But like you said, doing this every 15-20min is a little overkill XD Do it only when the situation is appropriate for it, even if she IS beautiful all the time =P


And yeah, I understand. "coz" seems a little textish to me, and not really a writing thing, but it's OK. Just making sure it wasn't some "Oops, that's a little TOO informal there!#@!" thing.


As for me, personally, again, I've never put much stock in the "there's so much you can do when you're single that you can't do when you're married!!#" I honestly can't think of much that's just impossible or out-right impractical with a wife, and the stuff I CAN think of I'm not really into doing anyway (such as travel, or partying and stuff lol). I still think I'm gonna get married young, because I THINK I have all the necessary skills for marriage (even though my parents tell me otherwise lolol). And I love getting practical knowledge like this ^_^ Learning about how people work and stuff is something I've always been interested in. Must be the "manipulation" element of the bad boy coming out in me rofl. But, like you mentioned about honesty, I'm still completely honest, I just like knowing what the knee-jerk response to most actions will be, and then I play my cards right XD


I MAY go find it on facebook. I'm not into adding groups and everything, I use facebook mainly for IMing friends, but I may take the time to go do it. I'm generally lazy when it comes to stuff like that (it annoys people rofl), so no promises =P
 
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Batman1978

Guest
#25
ha ha, well you do come across as a mature person who knows what he wants, don't worry I understand your situation, you and God alone know what's happening deep in that heart of yours, and in no way am I pursading you to marry later or even at a young age, all I'm saying is do what is right at the right time according to His will for your life.

I do have a rule in my own life: when making a hectic decision that might come out successful or destroy me totally I usually rely on the peace in my heart, even though people may be trying to pursuade me this way or that, even though my mind is screaming "what the heck are you doing dude", through all that if there's peace in my heart about my decision I would know that I've made the right choice and would stick through it no matter how rough the road gets ahead. But if there's no peace in my heart then I find alternate methods or bail.

As for the Facebook thing...understood. Thanx for all the replies dude.

p.s.- side note: I was listening to Joyce Meyer this afernoon and she said something about fear: "Do it afraid. Courageous people dont wait until they feel no fear, they do what they have to do even when they are afraid. You will never rise above your situation or do extraordinary things if you give into fear."

Just thought you would like it.

Peace.
 
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DABEARS85

Guest
#26
If this book is anything that I think it is... then it probably fits exactly along with my own beliefs. I think I only gained them by being jaded by a lot of past relationships with the "bad" girls more so than me being the "nice" guy, although I am one. I always chased the "bad" girls as much as the nice girls always chase the "bad" boys.

Simple human nature is to want what you can't have, and then when you get them you want to "change" them into who you wish they were... aka: Nice girls want the "bad" boy because he is confident and secure and doesn't care what she thinks... then if she gets him, she want's to change him into the "nice" guy while keeping his other traits. I did the same with women, albiet it always fails, because the only way someone will change is themselves.

Anyway, I know I don't need the book, but I will recommend it if it goes along with what I already know. I know I've tried to help some single guys on these forums with how they approach things. Confidence is the key with everything. I don't care what you look like or who you are. If you are confident, you will succeed in life. It's far easier said than done though, and I'm not sure even a book will show a "nice" guy how to be confident. Some things you have to learn yourself through hard lessons.
 
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Batman1978

Guest
#27
You hit the nail on the head dude, but believe it or not wot may seem simple and obvious to you regarding this topic have been a mystery to others. The teaching is simple but deep. Men naturally aren't as emotional as women are, so deep things that we all know but don't want to talk about is mentioned in this book. Simple everyday questions thats on men's minds is answered in the book.

You are so true about what you said about Confidence, as I said its the key aspect to winning a lady over.

Below is the title and summary of each Chapter of the book to get an idea of what it is about:

Introduction
Gives the basic outline of the book and what to expect. Explains that there is hope for Good Guys in their quest for winning that lady they fancy.

Understanding Women, and being a man about it
The chapter gives some insight on how women think and what they want in men.

The Difference between Good Guys and Bad Boyz
This chapter explains the basic differences between Good Guys and Bad Boyz, and why women fall for Bad Boyz rather than Good Guys. It also contains opinions of 5 females interviewed on the topic of Good Guys versus Bad Boyz.

You
This chapter is all about you (The Good Guy) and how you can work on your personal life in order to strengthen your chances in winning that lady over.

Confidence
This topic is discussed extensively. It’s the Mother of all X-factors needed to win the woman over. The chapter provides information on how to elevate your confidence.

Using Bad Boyz Methods
This chapter explains where we as Good Guys go wrong when we pursue a woman, and gives tips on how to fix those problems. It also explains the different traits Bad Boyz use to win over women, and how you can utilize those traits to be successful in your quest, without compromising your morals or value systems.

How and Where to find a suitable woman
This chapter gives tips on where to look for women, and it challenges the reader to step out of his comfort zone.

Approaching a Woman
Here it is explained how to approach a woman in order to get her basic details to pursue her. The chapter explains that your goal in approaching a woman is to get her attention, keep it simple and don't try to impress…it’s more of an “Idiots guide to approaching a woman”.

The First Date
This chapter explains where and when to take her on the first date. How long it is recommended to be. The do’s and don’ts on the first date. And making your aim to make a big impact in her life on the first date.

Rejection
This chapter gives tips on how to handle rejection from her and how to do the rejection if you find out after a few weeks that the lady you are pursuing is not who you want.

Final Tips
These are just random tips to help strengthen your quest to win over that lady. It talks about Dancing, Poerty/Music, etc.

Conclusion
Just a reassurance message that the info in the book can work for anyone and that you should not only trust in information but in God as well.
 
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Chattingovercoffee43wv

Guest
#28
I'll never try to act like a bad ass just to impress a woman....whats the point? It's like putting on some fake persona that will ultimately cause conflict in the long run.......
I'm perfectly content with the way God made me,If someones got a problem with me they need to confront the Lord about it......After all he made me this way.
Guys be yourself,If a women doesn't like you because your too good.....thats her loss & she'll realise that eventually when it's too late.

Gb
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#29
Why dont girls ever go for the nice guys?
 
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Batman1978

Guest
#30
To Chattingovercoffee43wv- I think Vidy said it bestl:
"Also, I don't get why people are so resistant to changing themselves to get a partner. Guys, you have to change yourself to be a Christian! Are you against changing yourself in THAT area of life too??? You have to be 100% willing to change to meet situations that arise. If you "find out who you are" and determine yourself to remain exactly that way forever, then you likely won't turn out too great XD

But, of course, compromising on morals is totally out of the question. As far as everything else goes (hobbies, interests, habits, ect.), then heck, why not."

Don't worry bro, this book does not make you compromise your principles in anyway, it gives you knowledge that will strengthen your chances in winning the lady you want to pursue.


To NodMyHeadLikeYeah- there's many reasons why,if you read some of the extracts from the book I've posted earlier you can get an idea why, the book does go into more detail and it would be too long to post on this site (no this is not a trick to get you to buy the book) but thats why I wrote the book- to supply the answers you have asked.
 
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Batman1978

Guest
#32
ha ha, love that movie but didnt take much to the sequel.