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Thread: marriage on my mind

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    Default marriage on my mind

    I have had an extremely difficult time finding a christian wife which is my ultimate goal. I am open for all and any recommendations, feel free to respond.
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Do you ask women out?

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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    No because I am never around any attractive ladies. The church I attend is made up of elderly couples and older widows. And I live in a very small town.

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    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Remember that God always has the best in mind for you. Because you'll so often hear "The one" is out there somewhere for you, and I think that is more hurtful than anything. Look at it honestly: you may not get married. It is (as you said), extremely difficult to find godly people who are good spouse material. BUT, whatever ends up happening, God has your ultimate best interests close to his heart, and he will bring them about, whatever they are .
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Thanks that is very helpful
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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Perhaps trust God to bring someone if and when He feels you're ready.
    I knew someone that refused to even date. She waited on and trusted God to bring her someone. She was in her 40s before meeting someone In Her Own Church. They got married.
    The point is, she didn't run out getting with a bunch of people on the prowl. She remained faithful to God first and foremost. And God provided at the right time.

    I believed I was ready for years. I met someone in the past year and have discovered I was Not ready before. Everything I've gone through has prepared me to be with her. And what she's been through prepared her to be with me.

    It's when we rush and make marriage our focus that we make mistakes. Get depressed. Desperate. I'd suggest spending less time on the prowl and more time learning to become a Godly man, so if/when God brings someone to you, you'll be ready.
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    My advice would be to be open to people you know and trust about your desire to find a spouse (they may know someone they can introduce you to)

    Also, keep ( or start) doing things that interest you i.e volunteering ( at a school or hospital for example) You can meet lots of people that you wouldn't normally.

    And my last advice would be to give it to God. He knows the desires of your heart and the right person will come in God's timing. Don't waste your time and energy worrying about something you can't control. Just pursue your interests and live life.

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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Thanks for the words of wisdom, it helps me calm down a couple of notches

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    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Quote Originally Posted by Soamazing View Post
    I have had an extremely difficult time finding a christian wife which is my ultimate goal. I am open for all and any recommendations, feel free to respond.
    I recommend you change ultimate goals. What if you wind up never getting married? Is your life then a failure?

    I recommend you live life as it comes. If you find a nice lady and you wind up getting married, great! If not, oh well. In the meantime there is a lot of life to live.

    If you get to the end of your life and all you have done is search for a wife, you will have a pretty empty life to look back on. Make sure your life isn't empty, with or without a wife.
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    Senior Member tourist's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    I assume that you have prayed about this. Be prepared to act in the event God provides and opportunity for you. A better ultimate goal would be to be an effective and productive humble servant of the Lord. God will provide if He so chooses.
    Sweetmorningdew78 likes this.
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    You have a valad point, to a stay faithful until death. Thanks your words are worth more than gold.
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    My father always says “your husband will not be anywhere you aren’t”. Ha! Neither would your wife. If she isn’t where you are? You might venture out?
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Quote Originally Posted by Hellooo View Post
    Do you ask women out?
    Quote Originally Posted by Soamazing View Post
    No because I am never around any attractive ladies. The church I attend is made up of elderly couples and older widows. And I live in a very small town.
    That could make it a wee bit difficult to find a mate..
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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Quote Originally Posted by Soamazing View Post
    No because I am never around any attractive ladies. The church I attend is made up of elderly couples and older widows. And I live in a very small town.
    Move to another town.
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    Senior Member Lighthearted's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Many singles think about marriage...but it shouldn't be your first priority. A Godly woman is more than likely looking for a Godly man that puts God first...otherwise, is he really Godly?
    With God there is a time and season for everything...
    until that time arrives for you, grow in faith, fruits, and your purpose in God's plan for your life! I
    have a feeling that when you trust and obey Him, not only will you be happy the way you are...but God will bless you with the desires of your heart!
    Last edited by Lighthearted; 2 Weeks Ago at 11:24 PM.
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Quote Originally Posted by zeroturbulence View Post
    That could make it a wee bit difficult to find a mate..
    bingo.

    soamazing, if you aren't meeting women or interacting with women, things won't change.

    Participate in local events, perhaps give online dating a try, join a meetup group, volunteer, chat with one of those widows you mention and see if theres any potential. You dont have to be a social butterfly, but you could put in a little effort if this is important to you.

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    Senior Member Sweetmorningdew78's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    I guess you are not the only one having a hard time finding someone to marry...and to think that some people already get married more than once and some get married instantly while here we are we can't even get someone to date us


    I heard that many single Christian women volunteers... maybe try to volunteer too.

    Maybe ask your family and friends if they know a single lady who is interested in a committed relationship...it is possible that you will meet someone through friends and relatives . I met my ex through my Aunt.



    Or a Christian dating sites I just read that There are millions of singles who tried dating sites maybe your potential wife is one of those millions who knows... Yeah?

    And if all those I have mentioned didn't work...well,just pray hard... pray hard man



    God bless you and welcome to CC ❤

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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    I am often whining over being lonely and single. And I would like a change in life. But to say it is the ultimate goal to be found by a christian man, or find someone myself is to stretch it too far.

    I live not for my self, but for God and His kingdom. And my ultimate goal is therefor coming home to Him. There are many things in life I would have liked, but neither of them are my ultimate goal.

    I understand you somehow, though. And what else can I say than follow Christ and who knows what is behind the next turn on your or mine path.
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    Idiot in Chief Oncefallen's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Quote Originally Posted by toinena View Post
    I am often whining over being lonely and single. And I would like a change in life. But to say it is the ultimate goal to be found by a christian man, or find someone myself is to stretch it too far.

    I live not for my self, but for God and His kingdom. And my ultimate goal is therefor coming home to Him. There are many things in life I would have liked, but neither of them are my ultimate goal.

    I understand you somehow, though. And what else can I say than follow Christ and who knows what is behind the next turn on your or mine path.
    More Christian singles need to come to this realization. I've seen so many come and go over the years that have the entitled attitude that practically says that God owes them a spouse which couldn't be farther from the truth. God owes us nothing whereas we owe Him everything.

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    Junior Member ArcanePrince's Avatar
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    Default Re: marriage on my mind

    Listen to me good. This might be harsh but I want to help you. Most of the guys here giving you advice admit they have never dated before too. All this is good advice but I am going to tell you what you have to do to actually fix your problem. If somebody knew what to tell you they wouldnt here anyway. I meet loads of girls daily and can basically have my pick. I date women most could dream of but wont brag here. I am not the best by far but I do get the dates. I am trying to be real and reach out to you. There are alot of guys like you. You should not have to pray for mercy of an undeserved miracle because you are incapable, because you really are capable.

    You just have to take some lessons. Watch videos on picking up women and then find a coach that knows what hes doing and really be humble and appreciative even if you have to pay for it. Listen and learn even if you dont agree. Because there is no one piece of advice that will help you. Its a new lifestyle you likely need. All of the other guys out there treat it like a competitive Olympic sport and work at it daily. Getting women have absolutely nothing to do with love and romance, that comes way after you get them. So make sure your place is spotless and you are perfectly clean cut and really nice clothes and in perfect shape and exercise and lift daily and stay away from anything sexual at all for a while (just trust me), or theres no reason to find a coach. But find a coach. If you do this as women talk to you, you will find that as plenty of motivation.

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