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Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: How are you finding it being single!!

  1. #1
    Member lizzie1's Avatar
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    Default How are you finding it being single!!

    Sometimes I get real lonely
    ☺ Don't magnify your problems. Magnify your God.☝☝ The bigger you make God, the smaller your problems will become ☺

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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    I'm enjoying the single life. I don't really get lonely. Then again, I'm kind of a reclusive person by nature.
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    Senior Member toinena's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    I know that feeling. CC is a great place to hang out, but sometimes the loneliness and depressive thoughts just hit me like a sledge hammer and I just cry out to God.

    I feel like it is a heavy burden to carry being a single. But I try to count my blessings and love my dogs. And continue my walk in life with Christ.

    I am not sure God has a soulmate for me. But I am sure He is in control and that He loves me enough to stand with me through all my silliness and failures.
    Brrrr! Humbug!

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    Senior Member Tinuviel's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    I am enjoying it . I would like to say that I have a prospect of being in a relationship soon, but God has not seen fit to bless me in that way, so I am trying to serve Him to my fullest as a single. Not that I don't sometimes feel lonely too though.
    “If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for.”
    ~Charles Spurgeon

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    Senior Member LightBright's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Eh it's fine i don't really feel like i have to have a relationship or nothin but you know sometimes ill think about it and be like yea that would be nice. I'm trying to focus more on Christ not my soulmate or whatever cuz even when i get marries if i do its still about Christ so i would like to have a wife yea it would ne pretty cool but i don't want to constantly think about it or anything.
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    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Whether single or married, I will probably find a way to enjoy life.

    Just now I enjoyed a slice of cookies and cream pie. Yum!

    In a few minutes I'm going to get caught up on the forum, then I'm going to go enjoy scratching the dog's ears for a minute. (Then I'll wash my hands. Dog needs a bath but it has been cold outside lately.)

    From what I have observed loneliness is a product of wanting something you don't have. I have often wanted something I don't have - a certain computer, a certain audio interface that I really don't need, a certain phone that I have to save money before I will be able to buy - but I don't let myself get wrapped up in "I want it!" too long. I find if I focus too much on what I don't have I will no longer enjoy the things I do have.

    And I used that analogy on purpose because the feeling I have when I think about wanting a partner in life is EXACTLY like the feeling I have when I think about wanting that 32-in audio interface. Same exact kind of wanting feeling. That is why I say loneliness is a product of wanting something you don't have.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

  7. #7
    DCrawshawJr
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynx View Post
    Whether single or married, I will probably find a way to enjoy life.

    Just now I enjoyed a slice of cookies and cream pie. Yum!

    In a few minutes I'm going to get caught up on the forum, then I'm going to go enjoy scratching the dog's ears for a minute. (Then I'll wash my hands. Dog needs a bath but it has been cold outside lately.)

    From what I have observed loneliness is a product of wanting something you don't have. I have often wanted something I don't have - a certain computer, a certain audio interface that I really don't need, a certain phone that I have to save money before I will be able to buy - but I don't let myself get wrapped up in "I want it!" too long. I find if I focus too much on what I don't have I will no longer enjoy the things I do have.

    And I used that analogy on purpose because the feeling I have when I think about wanting a partner in life is EXACTLY like the feeling I have when I think about wanting that 32-in audio interface. Same exact kind of wanting feeling. That is why I say loneliness is a product of wanting something you don't have.
    <Ted>Woooooah.</Ted>

    Thanks, Lynx. Thank God for what you've just wrote. This is encouragement I need.

    Now, on the OP's question, how am I finding being single? To be honest, it still feels a little weird. I've had to be encouraged (either by God, others, or myself) to adapt to a possible life where I NEVER get married (this is not a defeatist attitude, this is simply a possible truth). All too often, I've heard people tell me, "Just wait. There will be someone for you." as if I'm waiting for "my turn". That is utterly unbiblical false teaching, not the "Just wait", but rather the "There will be someone for you." However, it's hard to resist this teaching when the culture constantly preaches it, lifelong celibacy teaching is virtually silent, and there just happens to be a nice-looking single lady my age in my line of sight (not her fault), despite not being right for me. Churches, if you're not talking about being single, please give equal time for this. Thanks.
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  8. #8
    DCrawshawJr
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    OK, I just realized that that previous post didn't make sense. I'm not at all saying that "There will be someone for you" is always false, if it's God's will for you to marry. The point I was trying to make is that marriage is not guaranteed. It's the idea that marriage is guaranteed for everyone that's false.
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    There have been at times Imhave struggld with my singleness. Overall I am glad I am single, as I have been spared from the financial difficulties when it comes to raising a family. Throughout my life I have on and off struggled with health, and over the past 10+ years it has not been good for me.

    I am one of thoe guys that suffer with temporomandibular joint dysfunction, with the discs displaced (read up on the condition for those not aware), on top of that I have issues related to chronic fatigue, so I have limits on what I can do and for how long. and because my bad health costed me a good job (couldnt handle it no more), and going through moments in my life where I just broke down, I feel being single is the best decision I made (even if at times I do struggle with feelings of loneliness).

    In my circumstances, I felt because of my declining health, I wouldnt be a good provider, so I made the choice to single.

    One thing with my chronic pain issues over the years, it has kept me humble if that makes any sense.

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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    I am at peace in my life as a single person.. I am a bit of a introvert anyway so it is easy for me to be alone..

    Also i know that God is always with me so i know that i am never trully alone..

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    Senior Member laughingheart's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    Sometimes I get real lonely
    I think we all know that feeling. I've had nights where I feel like I'm at risk of becoming untethered because I feel so alone.
    The next day I make sure I'm connecting with people, checking on how they are doing. I use that feeling as an alarm that tells me it is time to make my rounds, contact old friends and ask about them. It is not that my feeling aren't valid. They really are. It is just a reminder that if I feel that way maybe there is someone else out there who may be in trouble, may need a reminder that someone cares and I make sure the focus is about their strengths, no misery loves company stuff.
    I also have tried to live life as a win/win. When I was single in my twenties I enjoyed it. Getting married I enjoyed it and the same when I became a mom. Each one had great things and lacked some things. I chose to focus on what is great in each. Right now it is even little things. There is not much closet space in my bedroom but it is all mine. I choose what I want for dinner, I choose what is on TV (not continuous golf - never again), I sleep soundly and choose with whom I want to spend my spare time. If I am in a good mood I get to keep it. I can stay behind after church and visit with people because I'm not rushed out the door to have to go cook. You get where I'm going.
    Make lists in your head of the benefits so when the sadness comes you can recite them. Enjoy the parts you can, because when you find that special someone the TV clicker will never be your sole possession again.
    I hope that you do find someone special. Take care, hugs.

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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Hi, I can understand it’s really hard being single. I can understand how sometimes lonliness can get a person. It’s the weakness of the flesh. Our mind needs to be refresh and anchor on our savior Jesus Christ and the faithfulness of our loving God every day. You can’t do it once a while. We are in spiritual warfare every day. I hope you know you are loved, valued and redeemed through Jesus who has done everything on the cross for us. As much as it can get so hard sometimes, take heart that there is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still. I have also been in relationships before that was so bad that I wish I’m single and I’m in a relationship now which i have no idea where it will leads to. I understand the culture in some countries actually promote early marriage. But if you marry for the sake of getting married, then what’s in it? Hope this helps. Be well and take care. Keeping you in my prayer. God bless!
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    Senior Member laughingheart's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie1 View Post
    Sometimes I get real lonely
    There is one other thing I wanted to add. Being lonely or sad or grieving does not in any way show a weakness or lack of faith. One of my favourite moments in Jesus's life was when his friend Lazarus died. What did he do? Did he rebuke people for a lack of faith? Did he smile and say "Watch this. This will be amazing"? I know I would have been running around telling everyone it was going to be OK and perform my miracle. I would have missed the moment. Jesus wept. It is astonishing. He knew what he could and would do and yet he wept. What he did was give us permission to be fully human. He sorrowed. He didn't just cry. He wept. He felt the pain and expressed it. That is so powerful.
    What sort of an inauthentic life is it when we have to pretend we don't have feelings for fear of displeasing God? How can we have a relationship with a God like that? The answer is that God never told us to pretend. There are seasons for our feelings and experiences. You are being honesty and I thank you for you authenticity.

  14. #14
    Galatea
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    It majorly sucks.
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    Senior Member OneFaith's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Far better than being with Mr. Wrong. I have my freedom, no arguments, come and go as I please, I’m happy. I’d be happier with Mr. Right, but I’d have a better chance at winning the lottery then to find him. I haven’t played the lottery in years, and when I do it’s only a dollar or two- and I still have a better chance then finding Mr. Right. But I’m content, satisfied, and happy.
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    Senior Member Odelschwanck's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Frustrating
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    Hmh
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Sad, lonely.. If I made better choices in life I would probably have a partner by now, but I never thought about that
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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hmh View Post
    Sad, lonely.. If I made better choices in life I would probably have a partner by now, but I never thought about that
    42 and never married, always wanted to be, though. We all want to believe what you said is true, but meeting someone is no guarantee, no matter the choices we make in life. Even a person that makes the best choices their whole life can still end up single. And to take it even further, even if you were to have made better choices and met someone there's a 50% chance it would have failed, or you would stay married and unhappy.
    At your age you're just getting started in life. You want better choices? Start focusing on now with a mind to work towards your future, and spend less time regretting your past. God already wiped it away, don't hold on to a past when God has made you new in the present. That's just another bad choice.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    It's never too late to become an optimist. :-)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ugly View Post
    42 and never married, always wanted to be, though. We all want to believe what you said is true, but meeting someone is no guarantee, no matter the choices we make in life. Even a person that makes the best choices their whole life can still end up single. And to take it even further, even if you were to have made better choices and met someone there's a 50% chance it would have failed, or you would stay married and unhappy.
    At your age you're just getting started in life. You want better choices? Start focusing on now with a mind to work towards your future, and spend less time regretting your past. God already wiped it away, don't hold on to a past when God has made you new in the present. That's just another bad choice.

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    Hmh
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    Default Re: How are you finding it being single!!

    Yea thanks you’re right.

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