It seems like a classic fairy-tale. You come across someone online whose writing resonates with you like no another. It’s like reading something written from a piece of your own soul.
He likes Jane Eyre and reads the obscure poems you write. He is clearly Mr Darcy caught in the modern era.
Her sense of humor is the one that you always dreamed your future life partner would have. The description she gives about herself lines up with a secret fantasy you harbored for years. She cooks, cleans and fights crime on the weekends.
It doesn’t take long before that spark and connection translates into a relationship that moves at a frenetic pace. Having never met these individuals, some people still fall in love so hard - it becomes a serious marriage-level proposition.
While there are some happy endings that do arise from online relationships - I am pretty sure the stats are quite dismal.
From what I have seen from people who’ve indulged in online romances - a majority of them have been burnt.
What I want to draw attention to in this thread is the amount of devastation that these seemingly innocent relationships have wrecked on people.
How can a relationship that never materialized in real life - that lacks physical chemistry, that lacks the authenticity of complete openness that is needed for a successful relationship have so much power over people?
Is it the amount of emotional investment and even time that people put into these? Like cultivating something that never really bears fruit?
Some of the reasons for failure in these online relationships is just simple emotional unavailability. One person is caught up in a warped fantasy of a potential relationship.
I honestly think that people who lead others on in such emotional relationships are emotionally warped themselves. Whether it is loneliness or being incapable of any other form of relationship, they know in their hearts, they have no business leading others on. Especially if they are Christian.
I am not trying to be harsh or rude. I am not looking to hurt people’s feelings - but its quite painful to be a bystander and watch people in online relationships put themselves down, pine over a broken relationship when, I feel like these relationships “don’t even count”. (not even considering online cat fishing)
So, I want to open this discussion to the rest of you.
How do we help people dealing with situations like this?
How do we guard our own hearts? Do you also feel these relationships don’t really count? Your thoughts?
He likes Jane Eyre and reads the obscure poems you write. He is clearly Mr Darcy caught in the modern era.
Her sense of humor is the one that you always dreamed your future life partner would have. The description she gives about herself lines up with a secret fantasy you harbored for years. She cooks, cleans and fights crime on the weekends.
It doesn’t take long before that spark and connection translates into a relationship that moves at a frenetic pace. Having never met these individuals, some people still fall in love so hard - it becomes a serious marriage-level proposition.
While there are some happy endings that do arise from online relationships - I am pretty sure the stats are quite dismal.
From what I have seen from people who’ve indulged in online romances - a majority of them have been burnt.
What I want to draw attention to in this thread is the amount of devastation that these seemingly innocent relationships have wrecked on people.
How can a relationship that never materialized in real life - that lacks physical chemistry, that lacks the authenticity of complete openness that is needed for a successful relationship have so much power over people?
Is it the amount of emotional investment and even time that people put into these? Like cultivating something that never really bears fruit?
Some of the reasons for failure in these online relationships is just simple emotional unavailability. One person is caught up in a warped fantasy of a potential relationship.
I honestly think that people who lead others on in such emotional relationships are emotionally warped themselves. Whether it is loneliness or being incapable of any other form of relationship, they know in their hearts, they have no business leading others on. Especially if they are Christian.
I am not trying to be harsh or rude. I am not looking to hurt people’s feelings - but its quite painful to be a bystander and watch people in online relationships put themselves down, pine over a broken relationship when, I feel like these relationships “don’t even count”. (not even considering online cat fishing)
So, I want to open this discussion to the rest of you.
How do we help people dealing with situations like this?
How do we guard our own hearts? Do you also feel these relationships don’t really count? Your thoughts?