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Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: What can you offer?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default What can you offer?

    The threads, where we list what we will accept or not accept in a potential lover, is cute and fun; but I believe it could be more constructive, to see what you think you could offer a potential mate.

    I don't believe God brings anyone a spouse. I don't believe in soul mates. I believe we have to go on our own to meet someone, and make the decision to marry them. I believe the time between meeting someone and marriage, is the time you date, and sell yourself to them......To give reasons why this person should choose you.

    This could be fun, or it could be a difficult exercise that reveals how we value ourselves. Some members here might spot great things about you, that you never realized about yourself. They could also disagree with your assessment of yourself. Members here read what you write, they remember it, and analyze it. I know, because it's what I find myself doing.

    I got this idea this morning, reading repies to another thread called: I wouldn't marry....
    I used the thread just to lay down some jokes, I don't really think I answered the question. I don't think I can. I saw some people post entire list of either characteristics or vices, they wouldn't accept in a mate. That is fine to know what you want in someone, but I don't know that I could make demands for a particular kind of person. This led me to think, if I had high standards for a bride, what could I offer them in return?



    I guess now I have to start this.




    Besides being the world's sexiest man (Aaron Rodgers not included, he's dreamy) I can fix most things broken.

    I can repair your car. Not just simple repairs, I spent several years as a mechanic, and I can tell you why your engine light is on. I can repair the reason it is on. I will keep up with your vehicles service, my darlin will not be broke down on the side of the road. Even my ex wife misses this about me.

    I come with a large assortment of tools.

    I will keep the house up. I can drive a #16 with two hits of my California framer. I can paint, lay tile, hang a door on the hinges, glaze window panes in, plumbing, most electrical, install appliances, and drywall.

    I can cook meat, and I'm a grill master.

    I can split firewood with an axe.

    I'm somewhat literate.

    I haven't piloted an aircraft in years, but if the pilot has a heart attack, we should be fine.

    I grew up sailing.

    I can do some gun smithing. I've built a few of my own weapons, and I'm damned good with them.

    I'm sure this list is far from what all I can do for a woman, but it really is just gravy for the potatoes.

    I don't lie. I'd like to, but I'm no good at it. My deception would be discovered before I could utter the words. I always lose at poker. If it's strip poker, I don't mind too much. Don't ask me if your clothes make you look fat, if you don't want the truth.
    If I love you, I will love you. I won't leave or cheat. I will carry my end of the vows. On the macro level, I will be happy with you, although I can't make you happy, it's not really my job. It's your burden to be happy with me. If the grass is a bit dry and dying on my side, I assume it's the same on the other. I don't like dead grass, and will call chemlawn if I have to.
    I will accept your advice and counsel, but I will lead you in worship of our Lord.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  2. #2
    Senior Member Waggles's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I come with a real well developed appreciation of
    someone else's cooking.
    A wife likes that in a man ...

  3. #3
    Zi
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Valiant Tommy!

    I have so much work to do that I wouldn't dream of writing anything..

  4. #4
    Senior Member maxwel's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    The threads, where we list what we will accept or not accept in a potential lover, is cute and fun; but I believe it could be more constructive, to see what you think you could offer a potential mate.

    I don't believe God brings anyone a spouse. I don't believe in soul mates. I believe we have to go on our own to meet someone, and make the decision to marry them. I believe the time between meeting someone and marriage, is the time you date, and sell yourself to them......To give reasons why this person should choose you.

    .

    When you go out and find some amazing Christian girl who falls in love with you and wants to marry you...
    did you find her, or did God bring her?


    I think this depends on your definition of "bring."

    You might want to consider:

    - Perhaps God gives you the health, finances, and will power to go out and look.
    - Perhaps God gives you time and opportunity to go out and look.
    - Perhaps God moves events and circumstances to place a good person where you are looking.
    - Perhaps God moves in your heart to look for the right kind of person
    - Perhaps God moves in the heart of the person you're looking for to be looking for you.

    * I don't think it's realistic to remove God from every scenario in which we need to get up and take action.

    * I don't think this view is Biblical


    God's interaction with our Daily Lives:

    Do you realize the Bible says it is God who gives you power to get wealth?
    And yet... don't you get up every day and go to work?

    So who exactly went out and "got" the wealth, was it you or God?
    The key is in the word "power"; God enables us to do what HE wants us to do...
    but we still have to cooperate, and get off our bums.

    I think we need to consider that God isn't removed from our daily lives, but rather, he is INTEGRATED into the FABRIC of our daily lives.

    I think this is the Biblical view... that our daily life is to be a relationship, a cooperative effort between man and the divine... with God leading and enabling, and the man responding and doing.

    If you want to go out and "do" without God, go right ahead...
    but I'm very fearful to "do" while leaving God out of the picture.
    Last edited by maxwel; January 3rd, 2018 at 05:29 PM.

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    Senior Member Miri's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I’m good at creating headaches, I play several instruments including the saxophone.
    He is God and we are not.


    Quote Originally Posted by notmyown View Post
    Miri, for being Mary Poppins. (inside joke, but no, really! she's kind and no nonsense!)

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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    seoulsearch, Miri, Pipp and 16 others like this.
    "You can measure your love for GOD by showing your love for others."





    "Smile more you look amazing when you smile" --Sweetmorningdew78

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    Senior Member Pipp's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I'm fluffy which is good for cuddling, I'm easy going and I bake...that's about all I got... lol
    If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

    A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.
    Roald Dahl, The Twits

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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I am exciting, funny and ready to get married tomorrow...lol

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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I like this...

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetmorningdew78 View Post
    What a big one it is.

    I'd snatch you up.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  11. #11
    Zi
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Actively, no
    Passively because all is His, yes.

    Actively is how I took Tommy to mean.

    So I don't agree with your whole post here Maxxes

    Not that it matters. Ijs
    Quote Originally Posted by maxwel View Post
    When you go out and find some amazing Christian girl who falls in love with you and wants to marry you...
    did you find her, or did God bring her?


    I think this depends on your definition of "bring."

    You might want to consider:

    - Perhaps God gives you the health, finances, and will power to go out and look.
    - Perhaps God gives you time and opportunity to go out and look.
    - Perhaps God moves events and circumstances to place a good person where you are looking.
    - Perhaps God moves in your heart to look for the right kind of person
    - Perhaps God moves in the heart of the person you're looking for to be looking for you.

    * I don't think it's realistic to remove God from every scenario in which we need to get up and take action.

    * I don't think this view is Biblical


    God's interaction with our Daily Lives:

    Do you realize the Bible says it is God who gives you power to get wealth?
    And yet... don't you get up every day and go to work?

    So who exactly went out and "got" the wealth, was it you or God?
    The key is in the word "power"; God enables us to do what HE wants us to do...
    but we still have to cooperate, and get off our bums.

    I think we need to consider that God isn't removed from our daily lives, but rather, he is INTEGRATED into the FABRIC of our daily lives.

    I think this is the Biblical view... that our daily life is to be a relationship, a cooperative effort between man and the divine... with God leading and enabling, and the man responding and doing.

    If you want to go out and "do" without God, go right ahead...
    but I'm very fearful to "do" while leaving God out of the picture.
    Tommy379 likes this.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pipp View Post
    I'm fluffy which is good for cuddling, I'm easy going and I bake...that's about all I got... lol
    I'm a big spoon, looking for my little spoon.
    Pipp, Magenta and Lighthearted like this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

  13. #13
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I work at a fast food factory which is not very glamorous or high-paying, but I work a good full week and I haven't been fired yet... And I seem to have a good work ethic because I do my job well and if I ever get laid off somewhere I always go out and find another job...


    Aside from that all I have is my music nerd brain. Whatever subject you are talking about, I can find a song to fit. Even if that's not something you want, it is something my brain will do anyway. My apologies or you are welcome, depending on whether you like it or hate it, but it's going to happen either way.

  14. #14
    Senior Member WineRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    *Le 3-year time skip*

    - I can (probably) smash your Pokemon team's faces in with a single Pokemon battle.
    - I can provide some quality, fresh memes.
    - I am the only one in my family who can safely carry my cat upside down without any of us getting hurt (She's very gentle, but my parents can't really do that right and so she freaks out)
    - I can do Garry's Mod skits for you. Warning: They usually make no sense at all.

    ...Yeah, that's all I've got. :/
    joefizz likes this.
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    I don't think I have anything to offer. That's why I should probably remain single.
    Magenta, AbigailZeke and joefizz like this.

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stranger36147 View Post
    I don't think I have anything to offer. That's why I should probably remain single.
    There has to be something.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    Senior Member kaylagrl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Waggles View Post
    I come with a real well developed appreciation of
    someone else's cooking.
    A wife likes that in a man ...

    ​Rofl love this!!

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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    There has to be something.
    She's better off alone or with someone else. I think I'll leave it at that.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Waggles's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    (ASV) Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, And obtaineth favor of Jehovah.

    (CEV) A man's greatest treasure is his wife-- she is a gift from the LORD.

    (GNB) Find a wife and you find a good thing; it shows that the LORD is good to you.

    Proverbs 18:22
    AuntieAnt and HisPeace like this.

  20. #20
    Senior Member maxwel's Avatar
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    Default Re: What can you offer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zi View Post
    Actively, no
    Passively because all is His, yes.

    Actively is how I took Tommy to mean.

    So I don't agree with your whole post here Maxxes

    Not that it matters. Ijs

    Hey Zi,

    It's fine to disagree, and discuss things.
    You know I'm fine with that.

    So let me make a few points:


    1. I think it does matter that we discuss this.

    If we're Christians, then we need to talk about HOW God actually works in our lives.

    I think this is really important stuff.


    2. Also, I don't think I'd categorize God's work in a Christian's life as "passive."

    I don't think it's a Biblical view that God just sits back, watches us from some great distance, and really has nothing to do in our lives.
    I don't think that's what scripture teaches.

    I think it's more likely that the opposite occurs - that God wants to be active in our lives but WE create the distance between us.

    I think a Christian can ignore God, or ignore the prompting of the holy spirit, or ignore the bible, or ignore God's people... but that isn't what God wants for us.
    In the Bible God always talks about having a very real and active relationship with us.


    3. My whole point wasn't really to argue with Tommy, but rather to present a more balanced view.

    A. God can, and sometimes does, act in powerful ways WHOLLY WITHOUT US.

    B. We can, in some circumstances, act WHOLLY WITHOUT GOD... but there is never a time we are SUPPOSED to do anything wholly without God, where we fail to consider God, or fail to seek his blessing or guidance.

    C. The CORRECT INTERACTION we see PRESCRIBED IN SCRIPTURE is where God enables and directs us to do things, and then we are to ACTIVELY do those things according to his guidance (found in scripture, found in the prompting of the holy spirit, and found in other believers).


    * There is never to be a time we do anything while ignoring God and failing to seek his guidance and blessing, nor is there a time we are to plop down, become lazy, and presume upon god to do everything for us.


    * God's design, in scripture, is that we ACT IN RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER, IN ALL THINGS.







    Last edited by maxwel; January 3rd, 2018 at 08:37 PM.
    Lighthearted likes this.

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