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Christian Singles Forum

Christian and single? Seek (or give) advice and encouragement here.

Thread: Is this him?

  1. #1
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    Default Is this him?

    So basically I've known this guy my whole life. Our churches do a lot together so I've seen him around a lot. He wasn't even on my radar and I've never had a crush on him. But recently a bunch of us friends were hanging out like normal and for some reason all of a sudden I looked at him and saw him in a completely different way. In a "that's my husband" kind of way. I didn't say anything and just ignored it. I thought maybe I'm being hormonal? But that thought keeps coming into my head. I went into my bathroom and just sat on the floor praying about whether this was a meaningless crush or if god had revealed him to me. And as I was praying I felt this weight of responsibility come on to me of what it would mean for me to be married to him. Like the weight of his responsibilities was put onto me as someone who would share that burden. I've been praying that god would do a work in his heart if this is real. Ive never dated before because i believe whoever I marry god will let me know and with other guys I didn't feel like that's who god had for me and there's no point in dating someone If god says no. I just really need some guidance? Do you think this is legit? What should I do? Have you ever experienced this before? Please help!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this him?

    So many things we don't know about this situation, so much advice we could give here, so much of it that could be the wrong advice.

    Sorry but we can't help. Some things nobody but you will know. We would love to help, but there's no way to advise you about this matter.

    The best advice I can give is to take each day as it comes and see what comes of it.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lynx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this him?

    And by the way, welcome to the forum.
    Magenta likes this.
    "Do you sing at church?"
    "Yes I sing at church. And I sing at work. And I sing at home... and in the car... at the supermarket... at Wal-Mart..."

  4. #4
    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this him?

    No one can tell you if this is legit.
    Though I do find it funny how people are always so positive when God says no, but if yes people question.
    On the other hand we have people so eager for what they want they hear what they want and call it God.

    Anyways. The only real answer to give is wait on God to make it clear, until then do nothing. Meaning don't take active steps in regards to this guy. I can tell you as one that's many times been on the receiving end of that, believing it's God in the beginning then changing their mind later, it's painful. And initially it's hard for the receivers of this behavior not to blame God. It took a lot of emotional beatings before I realized it was people, not God, that was doing this.
    Saturn and EmilyNats like this.
    Give me a new voice
    Give me a heart for repentance and make it stay
    Cause I've idolized my words
    It's all my fault
    But it's comfortable
    ~Poured Out, Rival Choir~

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Is this him?

    Yeah, what they all said is right.none of us here can give you that answer.
    But my advice is to talk ta a spiritual leader who knows both of you personally about this. A pastor or whoever.

    STORYTIME!
    This was literally me a couple of years ago. My best friend and Iwere super close and everyone thought we were dating. everyone used tosay that we were perfect for each other and we should just get married already. Then suddenly I started seeing it too. He was such a godfearing person and honestly my inspiration in my walk with Christ and I started getting all these ideas that that was why God brought him into my life. I started seeing "signs" that we were meant to be and was convinced that this was all God's doing. then he liked another girl and I went crazy. He'd always talk to me about her and ask for advice and as his best friend, I'd give him advice.
    so I decided to talk to my pastor about it. I told him that my future husband that God had planned for me had a crush on someone else. He immediately asks if I was talking about my best friend, and when I said yes, he literally laughed at me in the nicest way possible. He asked how I knew he was my husband and I said God had shown me signs. I told him the story and he made me see that I was practically making the whole thing up in my head. One thing he said to me that ill never forget was that "You're in love with the God in him, not him." and I realized he was right. I was obsessed with him because he seemed to be one of the only truly God-fearing people in my company. My pastor was like that's your brother, both of you have a future together, but not in a relationship.
    Fast forward to now. He's still my best friend, but I can't stand him sometimes. He's super annoying, but in a loving way, and loves to act like my dad. He tries to be friends with all my friends, and I know he means good, but I can't stand it. Imagine if I had gotten into a relationship with him, we would have fought and argued a lot, and probably won't be friends anymore. If I hadn't gotten counsel from my pastor, I probably would still have been lost.

    Summary, seek counsel from a spiritual superior, they always know better
    Magenta likes this.
    "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9




  6. #6
    Senior Member La_Vie_En_Rose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this him?

    Unless the guy is into you and wants you, it doesn’t really matter one way or another how you feel about him. It takes two to make a relationship. So, if he doesn’t pursue you, he isn’t the one. Just be stress free and when a guy IS into you and pursues you, THEN wonder whether or not he is THE ONE.
    Tommy379 and Zi like this.

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