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Thread: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

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    azo
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    Default Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Hello Everyone,

    There has been somethings on my mind for quite sometime regarding the person I am seeing and don't want to seem like I am overreacting. I been dating this Woman since late April of last year and we started out great spending time together and getting to know each other. We would talk about pretty anything particularly the good and bad about ourselves and what we have been through. The relationship seem to be progressing well with its ups and downs along the way but over the last couple of months things have been different. Her demeanor towards me has been different. So much so that she has been talking to me in a condescending manner sometimes even in public. She use to be affectionate with me in a non sexual way of course with hugs and kisses but now I barely even get a hug. When my birthday came in November we did go out but it did seem like her mind was someplace else. In the same month I thought we would spend our first Thanksgiving together but she decided to go out of town for the holiday. I was disappointed about that as I really want to spend that time with her but even though she decided to go out of town and leave me alone she asked me to watch over her dogs and look after her house while she was gone. At the time I was really puzzled by that but being the good guy that I am I said I would do it. So after she returned I pretty much let it go and just wanted to focus on moving forward but some of the problems were still there in how she was speaking to me especially in public. As Christmas was approaching I thought again we would have the chance to spend our first Major holiday together but again she decided to take a trip out of town. Now granted it was to visit her soon and new born grandson which I can understand but she never even talked to me about leaving or the fact that she was living me alone with no family around me for the holidays. This really started making me look at her a little harder in some areas. Recently I sent her a text message asking her how she was doing and if she wanted to go out to the movies with me Tomorrow. I didn't get a response back from her which I thought was a little odd as she usually does within a reasonable amount of time. At first I thought maybe she just can't respond back because she was in the middle of something important but then several hours went by and still no response then I started thinking maybe something happen as I was starting to worry. Over 6 hours had pass and just as I was about to call her she phoned me. When she talked to me she sounded a little off in how she was speaking to me and didn't even acknowledge the text I sent her or apologize for not responding sooner. A minute into the call she ended up telling me that she was going out to dinner with a friend(Male) of hers from out of town on the day I wanted to take her out. She said this is someone she knew way back and they are going out also with her best friend and husband so this appears to be a double date. This was the reason she didn't respond back to me sooner. I was not expecting her to tell me this. I have so many emotions running threw my head right now. Needless to say I am very upset about this but didn't show this. I want to talk to her about this but I am running really hot right now and needed to take sometime to think before I took any action. Is this overreacting? I don't think so but maybe an outside perception can see something else as well. I appreciate any and all response!!

    AZO..

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    I'd move on..... she has.
    Pipp, Dino246, 1ofthem and 2 others like this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    azo
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    I'd move on..... she has.
    I have been sitting here thinking about that but was thinking should I even try to salvage this or is it worth trying??
    1ofthem likes this.

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azo View Post
    I have been sitting here thinking about that but was thinking should I even try to salvage this or is it worth trying??
    Nope. When a woman has checked out like that, she ain't coming back.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    Senior Member EmilyNats's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    I can't necessarily speak for a *ahem* adult woman. But that is definitely off. I would have to mostly agree with Mr. Tommy, in short.
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    In Him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in darkness; and the darkness could not overcome it.

    John 1:4 & 5

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    azo
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    Nope. When a woman has checked out like that, she ain't coming back.
    Yes you probably right. I thought she was different then the other women I have encountered which is why I stuck it out with her..
    1ofthem and EmilyNats like this.

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyNats View Post
    I can't necessarily speak for a *ahem* adult woman. But that is definitely off. I would have to mostly agree with Mr. Tommy, in short.
    Women are about the same in that respect, regardless of their age.... well atleast from 16 to 45.... that's all I've known.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    Senior Member EmilyNats's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    Women are about the same in that respect, regardless of their age.... well atleast from 16 to 45.... that's all I've known.
    That's what I was thinking, but I can't be sure for another 30 or so years lol.
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    In Him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in darkness; and the darkness could not overcome it.

    John 1:4 & 5

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azo View Post
    Yes you probably right. I thought she was different then the other women I have encountered which is why I stuck it out with her..
    Us dumb, knuckle dragging men.... have a tendency to put the women we are into, on a pedestal. Every woman I've ever been into, was different and better.
    1ofthem likes this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    azo
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    Us dumb, knuckle dragging men.... have a tendency to put the women we are into, on a pedestal. Every woman I've ever been into, was different and better.
    Emotions can blind us to what is right in front of us!!
    EmilyNats likes this.

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyNats View Post
    That's what I was thinking, but I can't be sure for another 30 or so years lol.
    Men will do this crap too. They will become interested in someone else, but won't have the gonads to end the current relationship out right. They will just act like this woman, and hope the other moves on also. The difference is, I've seen where guys can be pulled back in, but when women are done, they're done. I've been on both sides of this game before.
    1ofthem and EmilyNats like this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    Senior Member EmilyNats's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tommy379 View Post
    Men will do this crap too. They will become interested in someone else, but won't have the gonads to end the current relationship out right. They will just act like this woman, and hope the other moves on also. The difference is, I've seen where guys can be pulled back in, but when women are done, they're done. I've been on both sides of this game before.
    Insightful information. But yes, men seem like rather simple creatures so far. And I don't mean that condescendingly.
    In Him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in darkness; and the darkness could not overcome it.

    John 1:4 & 5

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    Senior Member Tommy379's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyNats View Post
    Insightful information. But yes, men seem like rather simple creatures so far. And I don't mean that condescendingly.
    We are some low browed simpletons. Enjoy that.
    EmilyNats likes this.
    Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

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    Senior Member Pipp's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    That's very sad.... I'm sorry... it does seem like she's already gone.
    1ofthem likes this.
    If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

    A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.
    Roald Dahl, The Twits

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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Yup,I exactly understand what you are feeling right now...been there...




    I think...you should calm down first before you talk to her about it and hey it is important to feel yourself if you can tell her what you feel and remain calm then don't wait too long anymore...because the longer you wait or avoid it the more painful it will become. Cut short the hurt and move on...


    I always believe that when you are in doubt or something is going on in your mind that will going to affect the relationship u have to tell/ask your partner to talk about it...and even if you are sure about it you have to ask and still talk about it to clear every doubt that is running around your mind...

    Choose a place that is comfortable for both of you...and talk about it...ask her what's going on with her...ask her what's on her mind...what she's thinking and then tell her yours...be calm...be honest and accept whatever will be the outcome of the conversation...




    Just prayed for you and her and asked God to reveal to you if this person is for you...

    God bless you ❤
    Last edited by Sweetmorningdew78; January 14th, 2018 at 01:42 AM.
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    Senior Member renewed_hope's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azo View Post
    Yes you probably right. I thought she was different then the other women I have encountered which is why I stuck it out with her..
    I will agree to follow Tommy on this one, but at least for your side of things have a conversation with her about your feelings and that you have noticed this, this, and this about y'alls relationship. There may be something going on with her that she may not feel comfortable or she may not think she is treating you any different. I know when i was sexually assaulted several months ago I treated my bf different and didnt realize it until he said something. I'm not saying she was but if you just abruptly end things you will always wonder why and having a serious conversation is extremely important for closure
    La_Vie_En_Rose likes this.
    I choose to honor God by inspiring people. How do you honor him?........

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    Senior Member Saturn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    I think you need to talk to her about this. It looks like she doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, so maybe she doesn't think the two of you are serious or because it looks like she can just kind of run all over you and you won't ever say anything.

    As for her going out of town and leaving you alone. The two of you are not married, and you haven't even been dating a year, i think it's unrealistic to assume she would stay with you just because you don't have family around.
    What is interesting to me is that she did not invite you to go with her.

    I just feel like she does not take this relationship seriously and she acts whichever way she wants towards you because so far, you've said nothing to her about what is upsetting you.
    seoulsearch likes this.

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    Senior Member preacher4truth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Let her go and stop showing all interest in her. That's what is keeping her away, showing interest. She expects it. If she comes back so be it and if not give thanks to God for watching over you and not allowing this poor relationship to continue.
    People are offended that God is God.

    Oh, my brethren! bold-hearted men are always called mean-spirited by cowards. - Charles Spurgeon

    Open Theism and Molinism, two inept theological camps, do err in this sense; God doesn't have an R&D department, He does all things perfectly.

    A god who can be fashioned by our own thoughts is no more a god than an image produced by our own hands. - Charles Spurgeon


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    azo
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Pipp View Post
    That's very sad.... I'm sorry... it does seem like she's already gone.
    Yes I already had that feeling. Think I am just holding on but need to let go..

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    azo
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    Default Re: Red Flags or Overreacting!!

    That's why I needed to take sometime and think before taking action as my emotions were running all over the place. I think I will be ready tomorrow. I say tomorrow because at this moment as I am writing this she is out with her friend (Male), her bestfriend and husband having dinner.

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