2 people love one another but cant be together

[jlaw260]

I have been seeking Gods will and plans for when 2 people meet and form a relationship. Is there such a thing "it wasnt meant to be", or it wasnt part of Gods plan for you? The reason I ask is, I met a girl over a year ago. We were drawn to each other for many reasons, but mainly we both followed Christ and saw a lot eye to eye. Its something I can say I have not had. We both love each other, but the relationship ended and we didnt feel like we were compatible overall. We grew complacent and didnt really lean on the word which I feel responsible for not leading that.

Well here is what sparked my question. Someone told me, "maybe you just werent meant to be together and it wasnt in Gods plan". Instantly my heart told me thats not the way it works but I am conflicted. Isnt it Gods plan for 2 followers of Christ to meet, love and enter into marriage? Yes. But, is the rest our free will or does he interfere and it falls under, he brings people into your life for a reason even for a short time.

One thing that I never put much thought to or simply forget is "spiritual warfare" and underestimating the enemy.

So I struggle with the fact if 2 christians love one another but fears and scars from the past keep it from working. Is this Gods interference or all the devils work?

 

[Ugly]

It is Not God's plan for everyone to marry. That is nowhere in scripture. Paul's attitude towards marriage proves it when he openly discouraged marriage. He felt singleness wad ideal as a Christian unless you were unable to control your sexual needs. If marriage were so much a part of God's plan then why did the one who wrote the bulk of the NT discourage it?
People try to infer that Adam and Eve are evidence that humans are meant to be married, but it never actually says that. That is simply people fitting the bible to their view.
The fact is God's desire is that our focus be on preaching and spiritual matters, not earthly ones. And since earthly matters like marriage deter from that then it can't be God's intention.
And I can tell you from experience that it's So Easy to convince.yourself of what you think God wants when it comes to romance. And not only from my experience but the countless others that have come to this site with the same belief and are struggling and confused. Or angry at God because the relationship failed. They're unwilling to see it was never God.

Have you ever considered that fears and scars from the past get in the way because that's the way things function? My last gf I was eager to propose to. And she was eager to say yes. Everything seemed perfect as far as how we felt towards one another, treated one another, etc... But it turned out she wasn't ready. She wasn't healed from past emotional hurts, so she had to end things, even though she had no desire to.
As much as it hurt it was actually wise on her part. So fee people are willing to do such a thing because they are convinced marriage is the default. Churches push that family and marriage is God's way, despite that not being taught in the bible. In fact that bible speaks that family's will turn on one another.

What.you have here is an emotional connection with someone you can't get along with well enough to make a relationship work. Rather than using wisdom to recognize that you are not compatible and seeing that as an answer you use emotion to blind yourself and God to justify your blindness. If you push for a relationship that has already proven it can't work, when it falls apart later on will it be your fault or God's?

 

[jlaw260]

There are assumptions or misinterpretations here and derived from a short internet post. There was no issues as to how we got along, as that actually was one of the better aspects. Blindness? Um no. Blurry. Yes, hence the reason of seeking clarity. I have never blamed God, but merely looking for clarity in the will and plan for me. To say didnt work, proven, so not his plan seems a little to black and white. When marriages fail is that his plan? Absolutely not.

What.you have here is an emotional connection with someone you can't get along with well enough to make a relationship work. Rather than using wisdom to recognize that you are not compatible and seeing that as an answer you use emotion to blind yourself and God to justify your blindness. If you push for a relationship that has already proven it can't work, when it falls apart later on will it be your fault or God's?

 

[GOP]

I have been seeking Gods will and plans for when 2 people meet and form a relationship. Is there such a thing "it wasnt meant to be", or it wasnt part of Gods plan for you? The reason I ask is, I met a girl over a year ago. We were drawn to each other for many reasons, but mainly we both followed Christ and saw a lot eye to eye. Its something I can say I have not had. We both love each other, but the relationship ended and we didnt feel like we were compatible overall. We grew complacent and didnt really lean on the word which I feel responsible for not leading that.

Well here is what sparked my question. Someone told me, "maybe you just werent meant to be together and it wasnt in Gods plan". Instantly my heart told me thats not the way it works but I am conflicted. Isnt it Gods plan for 2 followers of Christ to meet, love and enter into marriage? Yes. But, is the rest our free will or does he interfere and it falls under, he brings people into your life for a reason even for a short time.

One thing that I never put much thought to or simply forget is "spiritual warfare" and underestimating the enemy.

So I struggle with the fact if 2 christians love one another but fears and scars from the past keep it from working. Is this Gods interference or all the devils work?

You said, "So I struggle with the fact if 2 christians love one another but fears and scars from the past keep it from working. Is this Gods interference or all the devils work? " ------- Yes, it is the devil interference. Fear comes from the devil alone. GOD ALMIGHTY our FATHER is a Lovely FATHER and HE does not consult our past to determine our future. So, don't allow the devil succeed with his fear which he always brings.
Spend more time fellowshipping with GOD through HIS WORD; and you will get HIS Voice clearly. The HOLY SPIRIT will help you. Ask HIM what you need.
Have a lovely day Sir in JESUS' NAME.

 

[cinder]

I have been seeking Gods will and plans for when 2 people meet and form a relationship. Is there such a thing "it wasnt meant to be", or it wasnt part of Gods plan for you? The reason I ask is, I met a girl over a year ago. We were drawn to each other for many reasons, but mainly we both followed Christ and saw a lot eye to eye. Its something I can say I have not had. We both love each other, but the relationship ended and we didnt feel like we were compatible overall. We grew complacent and didnt really lean on the word which I feel responsible for not leading that.

Well here is what sparked my question. Someone told me, "maybe you just werent meant to be together and it wasnt in Gods plan". Instantly my heart told me thats not the way it works but I am conflicted. Isnt it Gods plan for 2 followers of Christ to meet, love and enter into marriage? Yes. But, is the rest our free will or does he interfere and it falls under, he brings people into your life for a reason even for a short time.

One thing that I never put much thought to or simply forget is "spiritual warfare" and underestimating the enemy.

So I struggle with the fact if 2 christians love one another but fears and scars from the past keep it from working. Is this Gods interference or all the devils work?

There are plenty of reasons why 2 godly and christian people could come to love and care for each other deeply but not marry. And many of them fall under the category of sometimes life is just like that and neither God nor the devil are to blame that it didn't work out; it just didn't and usually that comes down to when it came time to choose, at least one of them chose not to take it that far.

We all deal with the tension between the idea of God's plan / fate for me vs is it something I did and if I'd done differently would there have been a more desirable outcome. Sometimes it can be obvious when a person has only themself to blame, but most of the time, there are so many factors no one can say for sure what the cause was. What I can say for sure: 1) It takes more than warm fuzzy feelings to make a lifelong relationship work. 2) God's plan for you is not to perpetually look back and pine for what might have been. 3) God is big enough to bless us hugely in spite of any screw ups we might have made along the way. 4) Just because a good season or relationship came to an end, does not mean that God did not bless you in that season or relationship and also does not mean that it was wrong for it to end.

 

[tourist]

So I struggle with the fact if 2 christians love one another but fears and scars from the past keep it from working. Is this Gods interference or all the devils work?

It is probably fear of rejection or fear of commitment. Nothing to do with God. He does bring people into your life but would not tell you that you should get married. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.

 

[jlaw260]

I agree with you. Its odd, that not only what I stated but we both wanted it, argued (not even bad), maybe twice in a year. With believing that the enemy does cast fear and doubt, and its rarely discussed the wedge the devil wants to drive between believers in Christ. I wrestle with the truth when you hear, that it wasnt Gods plan for you. If that was the case then does it apply yo divorce? No. Finding the understanding between Gods work in your life, and free will and failures

It is probably fear of rejection or fear of commitment. Nothing to do with God. He does bring people into your life but would not tell you that you should get married. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.