pls help

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anldec19

Guest
#1
A little over 3 weeks ago my dad and I argues bc for the 2nd time in my life he is thinking of divorce. i was also engaged until tuesday and she bailed bc of webs in my closet (past) we have been through so much and even talked with our preacher. i dont understand how she can leave everything and walk away.
 
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LostDreamer

Guest
#2
Talking from personal experience (and not nice personal experience, or anything I am proud of) sometimes when something arises with someone you love, it is just easier to shut your eyes, turn around, and walk away, because the things we see in the other person aren't things we couldn't learn to live with, but are things that we ourselves see as being too close to faults we sometimes see in ourselves. Being on the reciprocating end of such an act is never nice, but you have to believe that it is not a lack of love, that sometimes makes them walk away, but instead an act of preservation, to keep your memories of them less tainted.

Not sure if that helps you, but I hope in some way it helps you to understand what happened.
 
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DABEARS85

Guest
#3
Talking from personal experience (and not nice personal experience, or anything I am proud of) sometimes when something arises with someone you love, it is just easier to shut your eyes, turn around, and walk away, because the things we see in the other person aren't things we couldn't learn to live with, but are things that we ourselves see as being too close to faults we sometimes see in ourselves. Being on the reciprocating end of such an act is never nice, but you have to believe that it is not a lack of love, that sometimes makes them walk away, but instead an act of preservation, to keep your memories of them less tainted.

Not sure if that helps you, but I hope in some way it helps you to understand what happened.
I liked this a LOT. Thanks for sharing that. I would say this is one of my favorite quotes of all time. This one really struck me as being that good.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#4
1) Why are you arguing with your dad about a divorce? That is between him and his wife. If you were still a kid I would have said otherwise, but it says you're 26.

2) If your fiance left you because of things in your past, why does that make you feel like you need help? (I'm referring to the title of the topic). There is nothing more to do. She probably feels that you arent the person she thought you were and cant continue to trust you.


It sounds like maybe you still have some growing up to do. For example, it sounds like you need to learn how to be ok with letting your dad make his own decisions about his marriage, and you need to realize that when a woman you are about to marry discovers that you kept an important hidden secret from her the whole time you were together she will probably lose all trust in you.

Sorry but sometimes the truth hurts. In the end it will set you free, because you hopefully will refrain from repeating the same mistake.
 
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