Would You Compete with a Gaggle of Other Suitors to Win Someone's Hand?
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Well, I fond this rather exasperating!
Notice I said "fond". The way you say it. I like it Pipp. Makes you sound continental! I usually say find, only mine's so redneck it's got extra i's in it, like fiiind. Like you can't tell the difference between fiiind and fiine. So I could be telling you that you look fine, but you would say 'I look fond'? We would never be able to communicate. It's got nothing to do with your mind. Your mind is just fond.
Notice I said "fond". The way you say it. I like it Pipp. Makes you sound continental! I usually say find, only mine's so redneck it's got extra i's in it, like fiiind. Like you can't tell the difference between fiiind and fiine. So I could be telling you that you look fine, but you would say 'I look fond'? We would never be able to communicate. It's got nothing to do with your mind. Your mind is just fond.
Lol... Well I'll take that as a compliment, JD, but I've never done any writing-for-pay. I wouldn't be against it, but from what I've read, writing is a very competitive field and as you can tell, I'm not the competitive type. 
One of the reasons why I like to write "for free" is because I get to say what I want, and in the way I want to say it. If I were writing for a paycheck, all of that would go out the window, and then I'd have to write in a way that would please editors, advertisers, and audiences... and if it's one thing I'm not good at, it's changing myself to suit the wants or demands of people who have a different vision of what I want to be than I do.
I would also like to thank everyone for all their answers. I'm really happy to see that this seems to have been a topic of interest to many people--please keep right on talking. In the back of my head, I'm already thinking of a possible sequel to this thread, if there seems to be enough interest.
I must confess--I usually take my coffee with cream, but now you guys have me debating on a half-and-half scale.
I agree that it DOES take a bit of work to "land" someone, and they just might happen to have others who like them, so persistence could be necessary.
When I wrote this thread, I was thinking of people I observed in my 30's who liked to play anyone who gave them attention like a game. They'd keep up just enough interest to keep people pining after them because it was the attention that they craved, not any of the actual people involved, and when someone started losing interest, they would flirt or try to "reel" the person back in for the sake of getting attention.
When I wrote this thread, I was thinking of the last two boyfriends I had in my late 20's... and a few girls I had observed in high school and college.
THIS is the type of behavior I was thinking about when I said I wouldn't compete for someone's affections--not just someone who happened to have someone else who liked them.
One of the things I appreciate about all your answers is that it helps me clarify my own thinking as well.
One of the reasons why I like to write "for free" is because I get to say what I want, and in the way I want to say it. If I were writing for a paycheck, all of that would go out the window, and then I'd have to write in a way that would please editors, advertisers, and audiences... and if it's one thing I'm not good at, it's changing myself to suit the wants or demands of people who have a different vision of what I want to be than I do.
I would also like to thank everyone for all their answers. I'm really happy to see that this seems to have been a topic of interest to many people--please keep right on talking. In the back of my head, I'm already thinking of a possible sequel to this thread, if there seems to be enough interest.
I must confess--I usually take my coffee with cream, but now you guys have me debating on a half-and-half scale.
I agree that it DOES take a bit of work to "land" someone, and they just might happen to have others who like them, so persistence could be necessary.
When I wrote this thread, I was thinking of people I observed in my 30's who liked to play anyone who gave them attention like a game. They'd keep up just enough interest to keep people pining after them because it was the attention that they craved, not any of the actual people involved, and when someone started losing interest, they would flirt or try to "reel" the person back in for the sake of getting attention.
When I wrote this thread, I was thinking of the last two boyfriends I had in my late 20's... and a few girls I had observed in high school and college.
THIS is the type of behavior I was thinking about when I said I wouldn't compete for someone's affections--not just someone who happened to have someone else who liked them.
One of the things I appreciate about all your answers is that it helps me clarify my own thinking as well.
L
Several years ago I really liked someone but I found out that my friend liked him too. I could tell that she REALLY liked him and so I decided not to do anything about it. They got super close and became good friends. I sorta went a different route and haven't really talked to him in years. I regret it, especially because I know she must have told him by now and he didn't reciprocate the feelings. I also heard that he did like me back then. Then again, he's the guy...if he liked me he should've pursued me right?
Would I compete for someone now? No way! I'm too old for that and much wiser now. All of that competition and stress gives me a headache and heartache. Forget it. I would rather just meet a guy that likes me and only me. If he likes someone else...then that's up to him to decide. I'm not going to go out of my way to show him why he should pick me.
Would I compete for someone now? No way! I'm too old for that and much wiser now. All of that competition and stress gives me a headache and heartache. Forget it. I would rather just meet a guy that likes me and only me. If he likes someone else...then that's up to him to decide. I'm not going to go out of my way to show him why he should pick me.
If im after someone, i kinda forget everyone else. I had a situation b4 that it was me and someone else close to me interested in one guy...i won..just being me.
Its like.. if i make up my mind i dont stop until i make it and then i work even harder to keep it going.
Fact was that that dude was a player and i found out snd dumped him hard for it. It was very painful but the best alternative.
I am a magnet and most of the time ppl just light up when im around..im just a goofy mess lol
Its like.. if i make up my mind i dont stop until i make it and then i work even harder to keep it going.
Fact was that that dude was a player and i found out snd dumped him hard for it. It was very painful but the best alternative.
I am a magnet and most of the time ppl just light up when im around..im just a goofy mess lol
I don't like competing for a guys attention or a committment from him. I think it is silly. I also think it is unrealistic and not a true example of love. If a guy really likes you he really will give you his attention and let the other women know he is no longer available. And you deserve better than to be apart of some mid-evil game. Also, you should ask the guy is he spiritual or does he believe in God. The guys who believe in God might be more respectful of your feelings.
Dear Sister in Christ,
Greetings in the most precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Sister this is Pastor Tariq John from Pakistan. I serve here full-time to reach out the lost from the last 20 years with a dedicated team of 15 pastors in 135 villages and towns throughout Pakistan. Our mission is to win souls for the Lord and change lives. Planting new churches all around Pakistan. I am feeling blessed and touched to be here in Christian chat website. Hope we would have fellowship here through messages. We will pray for you and our family.
In Christ
Pastor T. John
Greetings in the most precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
Sister this is Pastor Tariq John from Pakistan. I serve here full-time to reach out the lost from the last 20 years with a dedicated team of 15 pastors in 135 villages and towns throughout Pakistan. Our mission is to win souls for the Lord and change lives. Planting new churches all around Pakistan. I am feeling blessed and touched to be here in Christian chat website. Hope we would have fellowship here through messages. We will pray for you and our family.
In Christ
Pastor T. John
S
That's not true! That's not true! And that's not true! Lol
You're obviously not a woman Cause if you were, you'd not be saying things like this. As a woman, I'll give you one piece of good advice for free: it's not about what we want or don't want! But if I see a man just handing a woman over to his competitor...well....good riddance...he's probably useless anyways.
Lol.
Sorry, I'm just being silly
You're obviously not a woman
Cause if you were, you'd not be saying things like this. As a woman, I'll give you one piece of good advice for free: it's not about what we want or don't want! But if I see a man just handing a woman over to his competitor...well....good riddance...he's probably useless anyways.Lol.
Sorry, I'm just being silly
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I'm open, honest, and loving. I pray that someone along the way will love me for all the mistakes and trials that God has used in my life to mold me into who He meant me to be. Someone who can accept my imperfections.
I would never be a woman to compete for a mans attention with other ladies (I think it would be a mans place to turn away the other women interested in him if he had an interest in me), but I would certainly do everything to keep his attention if the feelings were mutual.
On the same note, he wouldn't need to feel he had to compete over me with any other men either, because any male friendships I have would cease. I would never want a significant other to feel anything but my love for him and know without a doubt that I was committed to him only. Trust and faithfulness are way too important in a relationship and once they are compromised, it opens a cloud of doubt.
I would never be a woman to compete for a mans attention with other ladies (I think it would be a mans place to turn away the other women interested in him if he had an interest in me), but I would certainly do everything to keep his attention if the feelings were mutual.
On the same note, he wouldn't need to feel he had to compete over me with any other men either, because any male friendships I have would cease. I would never want a significant other to feel anything but my love for him and know without a doubt that I was committed to him only. Trust and faithfulness are way too important in a relationship and once they are compromised, it opens a cloud of doubt.
as I mentioned, as a teen, I had no self esteem, so I wasn't about to compete for a guy's attention. I probably wouldn't believe he was interested even if he was. lol.
but as an adult? did I compete? heck naw! if he wasn't interested, too bad for him! lolol actually, praise the Lord cuz it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
I do remember when I was getting to know my husband, he mentioned he was looking for a local congregation. when he found one, I was happy for him. I was starting to like him at that time. then I wondered: what if he meets someone there? I started to worry lol. but then I said, "well! if he does meet someone, ok then! it just means he is not my husband."
It all worked out though.
but as an adult? did I compete? heck naw! if he wasn't interested, too bad for him! lolol actually, praise the Lord cuz it wouldn't have worked out anyway.
I do remember when I was getting to know my husband, he mentioned he was looking for a local congregation. when he found one, I was happy for him. I was starting to like him at that time. then I wondered: what if he meets someone there? I started to worry lol. but then I said, "well! if he does meet someone, ok then! it just means he is not my husband."
It all worked out though.
S
Hmmmm... I don't think I would compete with another woman for a man's heart (unless he is my husband I'll fight for our marriage )
A true gentleman knows what he wants and won't put another woman in a situation where she is going to be in a fighting and competition mood with another woman
I'll give way...I'd let him go and she can have him I bet there's someone out there who is brave enough and smart enough to know that I am the one he wants to be with...
(unless he is my husband I'll fight for our marriage )A true gentleman knows what he wants and won't put another woman in a situation where she is going to be in a fighting and competition mood with another woman
I'll give way...I'd let him go and she can have him
I bet there's someone out there who is brave enough and smart enough to know that I am the one he wants to be with...
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