Meant to be single

jrccomputer · Feb 14, 2018

I have a strong belief that I am meant to be single. I have struggling and trying to trust in God..as I let go of my need to have someone else. I have been struggling with letting go. I have been hurting thinking about being alone and I am trying to get used to the idea that I am meant to be single. I do not believe I am supposed to get married. It is really hard for me, as my own human dreams have been to have a family and a wife someday. How do I find more trust in God? How do I become ok with losing my dream? How do I move on? Please pray for me, I have been feeling like I will not be able to make it. I have been really struggling with life and I do not feel like I want to live anymore

Tommy379 · Feb 14, 2018

jrccomputer said:

I have a strong belief that I am meant to be single. I have struggling and trying to trust in God..as I let go of my need to have someone else. I have been struggling with letting go. I have been hurting thinking about being alone and I am trying to get used to the idea that I am meant to be single. I do not believe I am supposed to get married. It is really hard for me, as my own human dreams have been to have a family and a wife someday. How do I find more trust in God? How do I become ok with losing my dream? How do I move on? Please pray for me, I have been feeling like I will not be able to make it. I have been really struggling with life and I do not feel like I want to live anymore

Why do you believe you were meant to be alone?

AuntieAnt · Feb 14, 2018

jrccomputer said:

The Word tells us it's not good to be alone. There are some folks who may very well be better off single. But it certainly isn't the man or woman who has a great desire to get married and have a family. We are told to get married if we have a deep yearning for love and companionship. I don't know where you got that "strong belief" that you were meant to live alone. But all it's doing is stealing your joy and peace and making you depressed. You're so young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Why don't you just rest in God and not worry about the details. Let God be God and trust Him to lead you and bring about the things He wants you to have in life.

Tinuviel · Feb 14, 2018

jrccomputer said:

You don't have to deal with being single the rest of your life. You have to deal with being single today. God offers you the the strength to get through each day...not for next month, year, and the rest of your life. I know that's not easy to hear, but you've gotta put your faith in God and trust him one day at a time...and the next day do it again.

AuntieAnt · Feb 14, 2018

Also jrccomputer, if you feel like you need to talk to someone about your depression and anxiety, here are contacts you can either call or text to get help ASAP. I'll be praying for you, dear. :::hugs:::

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

https://www.crisistextline.org/

http://crisiscallcenter.org/crisisservices-html/

Magenta · Feb 14, 2018

Tinuviel said:

I was thinking pretty much the exact same thing

Anything we can do for a day, we can do again the next day. We are not meant to live worrying about what will happen in this life tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or next decade.

Dear jrccomputer, please do not concern yourself with the future so much that it robs you of any joy you are capable of feeling in this present moment. Find your joy, and then you will have more good things to share with that special someone if she ever materializes

If she does not materialize, you will have lived a good life regardless.

Ugly · Feb 15, 2018

42 never married. Still alive. I've wanted to get married since I was little. Hasn't happened. I'm still alive.
I wanted to be in music. No skills. Still alive.
I wanted to be in psychology. No education. Still alive.
These were all things I've badly wanted and never gotten.
If you base wanting to live or die off of getting what you want you're going to be a miserable person.
Happy people are thankful for what they have, first and foremost. Nothing wrong with going after more, but often times you end up constantly chasing happiness and never finding it rather than being content where you're at.

It iften amazes me how many people under 25 are Convinced they'll never marry, despite wanting to.

joefizz · Feb 15, 2018

Ugly said:

42 never married. Still alive. I've wanted to get married since I was little. Hasn't happened. I'm still alive.
I wanted to be in music. No skills. Still alive.
I wanted to be in psychology. No education. Still alive.
These were all things I've badly wanted and never gotten.
If you base wanting to live or die off of getting what you want you're going to be a miserable person.
Happy people are thankful for what they have, first and foremost. Nothing wrong with going after more, but often times you end up constantly chasing happiness and never finding it rather than being content where you're at.

It iften amazes me how many people under 25 are Convinced they'll never marry, despite wanting to.

(you have a friendly Valentine from Joefizz in page 3 of the thread"CC Valentine's thread" in miscellaneous forum,curious about your critique)

HisUnfailingLove · Feb 15, 2018

Hi from Aussie!

At 24 you have your whole life ahead of you. Why waste time with concerning yourself with the future. Does not God look after the birds of the air? Are you not more important than they? God loves you. He has an awesome plan ahead of you. You will find that as you steady your focus on Him, the days do get easier. Stay fixed on Jesus. Let Him do the planning. He can achieve more than you could possibly ever dream or imagine. Ask Him to help you with your faith. I know it's not easy, but you can do it. Let the joy of the Lord be your strength. Is 40:31 "Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles; They will run and not get tired; They will walk and not become weary."

An afterthought - sorry if this sounds a bit simplistic - but could you maybe try Photography? It might help you to feel more connected to the Creator.

finaldesire · Feb 15, 2018

jrccomputer said:

I have a strong belief that I am meant to be single. I have struggling and trying to trust in God..as I let go of my need to have someone else. I have been struggling with letting go. I have been hurting thinking about being alone and I am trying to get used to the idea that I am meant to be single. I do not believe I am supposed to get married. It is really hard for me, as my own human dreams have been to have a family and a wife someday. How do I find more trust in God? How do I become ok with losing my dream? How do I move on? Please pray for me, I have been feeling like I will not be able to make it. I have been really struggling with life and I do not feel like I want to live anymore

Our Lord is not a hash task master, you know he understands your desires better than you. If your heart so wants to be married, then he will not prevent that.

HisUnfailingLove · Feb 15, 2018

Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

NewStuff17 · Feb 15, 2018

jrccomputer said:

I am not sure why you feel this way. What I believe is that if someone wants to be married, this is a desire from God. We aren't talking about a desire to get drunk or be filthy rich and only trusting in money. We are talking about finding someone to love and raising children under that loving influence of that relationship. That is a wholesome desire.

I am going to throw some scenarios out there. They may not apply to you but I hope to cover any issue that may have you feeling that way.

If you feel that no one will love you, that is a lie of the enemy. If you abide in God, and his words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

If you have an illness or condition that leads you to believe that you won't have a long, healthy relationship and produce children know that there is someone out there that will be happy to be with you despite your situation. You can do all things through Christ that strengthens you.

If you have feelings that contradict your desire to find the God fearing woman the Lord meant for you, pray on this situation knowing that God has already answered your prayers. Pray and thank him. Then prepare for your wife. When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing.

JonahLynx · Feb 15, 2018

Ugly said:

Might not be in every case, but for me at least I used to have a huge problem comparing myself to other people and assuming there were certain roadmaps of life that you can't escape after about age 14. Seems like everything is set in stone when you find a similar trend in your life to someone with experiences you want to avoid.

My advice though being the same age is to be constantly in prayer, like with every other struggle. I wish I could emphasize how important prayer is or make it sound less cliche.

jrccomputer · Feb 15, 2018

Not trying to find anyone, I am trying to move past my dream, as much as it hurts! You can not continue to look at the things that won't ever happen, you just move on, but it sure does hurt. God is always good, but this world tears me apart! This world tears my sensitive heart apart

cinder · Feb 15, 2018

jrccomputer said:

You still haven't answered the question of why you feel you're meant to be single. And well, feelings aren't exactly the most trustworthy things to begin with. But it's a common mistake among people to take God's not now as a not ever. So trust him for now, and trust him to take care of the future. Remember his plan isn't to make you as miserable as possible, but sometimes what we desperately want wouldn't be good for us to have now. You don't have to get past your dream, you just have to be okay with being single and not romantically coupled with anyone today, and trust that tomorrow God will give you the grace to be ok with it tomorrow (for a given value of ok because some tomorrows it will hurt more than others, but that's just life). And someday, maybe in a way you can't even begin to imagine now, God will surprise you with something good that you weren't even aware he was preparing you for but that had he given you everything you asked for when you asked could never have happened.

JonahLynx · Feb 15, 2018

jrccomputer said:

You've got to be honest with God. He's the one who created us with these emotions in the first place, and it's only to bring us to a place where we rely more on Him. I know I'm just some guy on the internet, but you have to take my advice here because there's no other solution. If you are angry with God, then you have to go to Him in that anger. Or if you think you have been wronged and deceived in this life, then tell Him that. You can't hide what your heart says, and He doesn't listen to polite words that come out of your mouth.

I sincerely hope you don't try to resolve this pain simply by suppression. Peace and joy is free for the taking, and it has nothing to do with whether you are called to suffer with another person. There is so much wealth at your fingertips if you would just call on the Lord in this weakness.

God gave you this burden, and you cannot endure it in your own strength or escape it through emotion. But the spiritual growth it produces in you will be greater than a mere woman. One day, regardless of your situation, you will look back and wonder why you were so distraught.

CeCe0000 · Feb 15, 2018

Don't commit suicide. We lose too many young people to this form of senseless violence. You should try crisis text or chat. There may be a wait but they can help. Try a counselor things will get better just wait and see. Have patience. Don't be so quick to assume that things will not get better.

Angela53510 · Feb 15, 2018

Just speaking from experience, I was also perpetually single at your age. I decided to return to school at age 25, where I met my future husband. We got married the next year, and lived happily ever after. Which is to say, going on 37 years, 4 grown children and 5 grandchildren so far.

We’ve had good times and hard times, times when we almost walked away, and yet, here we are, talking a retirement honeymoon just for fun.

Sweetie, if you are truly “meant” to be single, God will help you, and give you not just strength, but joy in your singleness. But don’t discount that a good man could be waiting around the corner for you.

But, just to clear it up. Being married is not a ticket to happiness. You can be very depressed and be married, or happy and be single. Happiness is not about relationships, but finding out who God you made you to be, and being that person. I’ve met too many desperately unhappy married people, who literally ran from bad marriages, to let you hold onto this fantasy Prince Charming nonsense. That only works in Hollywood, and not even then.

I pray you will seek help for your depression. I think there are much deeper issues than whether you are married or single. Talk to your pastor or doctor, because life is rewarding, and serving God is the most wonderful life there can be.

Ugly · Feb 16, 2018

Clearly something deeper is going on. But he's not willing to bring anything up. He's not looking for answers, though, but rather someone to tell him he's justified in wallowing.

jrccomputer · Feb 16, 2018

After being engaged for 2 years and have my fiance cheat on me with someone else, it took me a long while to heal and to see God's plans for me. I decided I was not going to look back, and that I was going to allow God's plan to flow in my life. I finally felt ready to go out there and see if I could find this mystery girl. After, being aware and being available not much comes my way. I can talk to someone for awhile or meet them and have a wonderful time. Nothing goes anywhere, no one really cares anymore. I was more with a sensitive heart and selfness that you do not find today. The world hurts me, dating hurts me, and specifically women hurt me. I have an understanding about how people feel, I understand where they are at and the pain they are going through. My life has never been easy, and I have been through a lot of trauma. Never less, I still go out into a work that only seeks to hurt me and change who I am. I should be angry at the world, at women, at everything, but I am not. I still love, I still want to help and I still go out into hoping that just one person has the heart, that just one person cares. The reason I feel, I am to be single is simple. No one has the heart I have, feel what I feel, has the deep understanding of how other feel, and no one has a Selfless nature like me anymore. The world has changed, and it is always changing but in 4 years I would have never known dating would change so much. It has changed for the worse, the people who give you a chance, they do not even believe that you are different or have a different heart. It hurts someone like me, that all they want is to love someone else...without needing anything else in return.

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