Men taking wife’s surname - what do you think

[Miri]

So my female manager got married in Las Vegas last year, she didn’t tell
anyone she’s a very private closed person. We only found out when she got back off
their honeymoon, plus she kept her surname. Her husband took her name instead.

I have my reasons for speculating why they did that, but I will keep them to
myself.

Just wondered what you thought of taking the wife’s surname, is it something
you would do and why.



I just came across this article so maybe there are very practical reasons for taking
your wife’s surname too.

'I took my wife's name - and then the hassle began' - BBC News

 

[Lynx]

Multiple questions:

1. When, where and why did the custom of the wife taking the husband's surname begin? I know it wasn't in the Bible because they didn't have a lot of names for one person in the Bible.

2. What did a wife taking a husband's surname signify back when it was started, and what does it signify now?

3. In any case of the wife wanting to keep her surname, what is the motive? If she is famous I could understand wanting to keep her name intact. If the man and woman are just two average people, what is the reason for this?

 

[Lynx]

You might find this helpful.

http://christianchat.com/christian-family-forum/3893-woman-taking-mans-surname-upon-marriage.html

 

[Demi777]

My mom kept her maiden name. I gave up my fathers name and accepted my moms..if bf and i would marry he would wanna take my name.
I dont understand any fuss about this. Just becausw u marry u dont become anyone else or property. I think theres no problem in taking a wife's name instead or even just keeping the maiden name all in all.
In fact im glad that u can choose nowadays what u want

 

[cinder]

Multiple questions:

1. When, where and why did the custom of the wife taking the husband's surname begin? I know it wasn't in the Bible because they didn't have a lot of names for one person in the Bible.

2. What did a wife taking a husband's surname signify back when it was started, and what does it signify now?

3. In any case of the wife wanting to keep her surname, what is the motive? If she is famous I could understand wanting to keep her name intact. If the man and woman are just two average people, what is the reason for this?

You just had to ask didn't you. Here's what the internet has to say (source):

Historically, a person’s surname was not considered all that important. In early medieval England, most people were known only by one name, their “Christian name,” such as Thomas or Anne, which was conferred at baptism. But as the population grew, it got tiresome trying to distinguish among the many Thomases or Annes (or Richards or Marys), so surnames arose, often based on lineage (such Williamson), occupation (such as Smith), or locale (such as York).Still, the matter of a wife taking a husband’s surname didn’t surface in English common law until the ninth century, when lawmakers began to consider the legalities surrounding personhood, families, and marriage. Thusly (as they would say), the doctrine of coverture emerged – and women were thereafter considered “one” with their husbands and therefore required to assume the husband’s surname as their own.Under the concept of coverture, which literally means “covered by,” women had no independent legal identity apart from their spouse. Actually, this “coverage” began upon the birth of a female baby – who was given her father’s surname – and could only change upon the marriage of that female, at which point her name was automatically changed to that of her new husband.

 

[Jimbone]

My mom kept her maiden name. I gave up my fathers name and accepted my moms..if bf and i would marry he would wanna take my name.
I dont understand any fuss about this. Just becausw u marry u dont become anyone else or property. I think theres no problem in taking a wife's name instead or even just keeping the maiden name all in all.
In fact im glad that u can choose nowadays what u want

I have to agree, I think it all depends on the situation too. For example I personally want my children to have my name and on that note I am very thankful I wear my fathers name. My father in law had 2 girls, my brother and sister in law are thinking about taking her name, and already have a son and two daughters to carry it on even further. It would be the only way her dad's name goes on. On top of that he actually had a bad relationship with his parents and is not too worried about his last name. In this case I think it's truly awesome for the guy to take her name.

I think Jesus demonstrated to us very clearly that we have to live in the world, the world is fluid and us trying to create and live by these laws and rules, we have to see the higher Law and keep a larger perspective to better understand His will for us, in my experience anyway.

 

[Tommy379]

I'd hope if I got married, she would want my name. It's strong like a beast.

 

[JaumeJ]

As for aman taking his wife's family name, well duhhh, it is the same loss of identity as the other way around.

Once I came to understand the family names in Spain, I really like the system.

When a woman marries here she keeps her name always. The man does too.

Any children have both names, father's first.

So, Carmen Escobosa marries Javier Baez. They have a child, a boy, and he is named Raul. Now He is called Raul Baez Escobosa.

Usually he would just be called Raul Baez, but his full name would be both. They also have second names e.i. Raul José Baez Excobosa.

This also helps in tracing families back on both parents sides.

Actually, if you get accustomed to this you may add their grandparents names on both sides also, but this is tedieous and unecessary.......

So, neither parent loses their name or identity in marriage..........neat.

 

[MichaelOwen]

It's a common tradition that when you marry, you take on the name of the husband, a tradition that's been around for centuries, maybe even millennia. But ultimately it comes down to choice and what seems fit and just for you and your significant other. Either way, the Lord does not look at your names when you marry, he looks at the purity of your heart and the sanctity of that marriage, first and foremost.

 

[NoNameMcgee]

It's a common tradition that when you marry, you take on the name of the husband, a tradition that's been around for centuries, maybe even millennia. But ultimately it comes down to choice and what seems fit and just for you and your significant other. Either way, the Lord does not look at your names when you marry, he looks at the purity of your heart and the sanctity of that marriage, first and foremost.

this ^^^^^


personally there's no way i'm taking someone elses last name...


but i wouldn't blame her for feeling the same way

 

[tourist]

So my female manager got married in Las Vegas last year, she didn’t tell
anyone she’s a very private closed person. We only found out when she got back off
their honeymoon, plus she kept her surname. Her husband took her name instead.

I have my reasons for speculating why they did that, but I will keep them to
myself.

Just wondered what you thought of taking the wife’s surname, is it something
you would do and why.



I just came across this article so maybe there are very practical reasons for taking
your wife’s surname too.

'I took my wife's name - and then the hassle began' - BBC News

I would absolutely not have taken my wife's surname and would not have married her if she refused to take mine.

 

[Tinuviel]

Nope, I would absolutely NOT have my husband take my name or refuse to take his. Not because I think it is wrong from a religious stance or anything, just because taking the man's name is a step of significance and trust for me, and also sort of signifies the head of house role. If I had published a book by that time or something, of course I would not change my publishing name; that's bad business. But I'd want a pen-name anyways so who cares .

Also, knew a lady who kept her maiden name and 25 years later regretted it, but never did go through the legal process of changing it because of the expense and hassle. Might as well get it all done at once and have it over.

 

[Miri]

As for aman taking his wife's family name, well duhhh, it is the same loss of identity as the other way around.

Once I came to understand the family names in Spain, I really like the system.

When a woman marries here she keeps her name always. The man does too.

Any children have both names, father's first.

So, Carmen Escobosa marries Javier Baez. They have a child, a boy, and he is named Raul. Now He is called Raul Baez Escobosa.

Usually he would just be called Raul Baez, but his full name would be both. They also have second names e.i. Raul José Baez Excobosa.

This also helps in tracing families back on both parents sides.

Actually, if you get accustomed to this you may add their grandparents names on both sides also, but this is tedieous and unecessary.......

So, neither parent loses their name or identity in marriage..........neat.

Sorry have to ask, lol

So in theory the wife could be called Mary, Smith Jones
and the husband could be called John, Taylor Johnson

So if they had a son he could be called Ben, Smith Jones Taylor Johnson!

What happens if the son later marries a wife with 4 surnames. Do their children get 8
surnames and their grandchildren 16 surnames and so on.

Or am I being a bit dense! Lol

 

[Miri]

Something else, if both people refused to take the name of the other so
each kept their own name. Then they would have great legally difficulties in
the future and and to keep proving they are married all the time.

Personally I would be honoured to take my husband’s surname (if I ever get
married lol). Unless maybe it’s a bit rude!

A man at work has the surname of Grocock. That being said it brings a lot of
mirth to customers who ring up to ask for him.

 

[JaumeJ]

It can be taken as far as one likes, howeer the custom is to stop at the mother and the father.

The woman's name does not change upon marriage, neigther the man's.

The customary is for the childre to have the father and the mothers names in that ordr.

Sorry have to ask, lol

So in theory the wife could be called Mary, Smith Jones
and the husband could be called John, Taylor Johnson

So if they had a son he could be called Ben, Smith Jones Taylor Johnson!

What happens if the son later marries a wife with 4 surnames. Do their children get 8
surnames and their grandchildren 16 surnames and so on.

Or am I being a bit dense! Lol

 

[Dino246]

In the Canadian province of Quebec, apparently a wife is not permitted to take the husband's surname! To me, that is wrong, because it obscures whether a couple is married or merely shacked.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable taking my wife's last name in marriage, but I have no reason for this other than tradition and perhaps the desire to preserve my surname. Given that, I really would have no legitimate reason to expect her to take my name either. My views have changed since I first got married over 20 years ago.

The Spanish system seems best to me.

 

[Demi777]

Something else, if both people refused to take the name of the other so
each kept their own name. Then they would have great legally difficulties in
the future and and to keep proving they are married all the time.

Personally I would be honoured to take my husband’s surname (if I ever get
married lol). Unless maybe it’s a bit rude!

A man at work has the surname of Grocock. That being said it brings a lot of
mirth to customers who ring up to ask for him.

Mom never haf problem..at least no big ones

 

[Sweetmorningdew78]

In Philippines the law does not require a woman to change her name when she marries..A married woman may use




- her maiden first name and surname and add her husband's surname.


-her maiden first name and her husband surname or



-her husband's full name but attaching a word that indicates that she is his wife like "Mrs."

Example:Mrs. Peanut Butter



Now,about the children... Children shall use the surname of the father for example:


Father's name is "Mr. Peanut Butter"
Mother's name is " Anna Banana
Kid's name would be " Lady Banana Butter

The kid will use her mom's maiden name as her middle name and dad's surname as her surname.


But husband taking his wife's surname...haven't heard about it yet...personally I would want him to use his surname instead of using or putting or adding mine


But I would not mind and i would be happy to take his if he wants me to...for me there is something special and sweet about using my husband's surname...I'll be proud to carry the name of the person I love ....I feel like it is one of the sweetest intimate thing for me

 

[Miri]

I did know a couple where the man’s surname was love and
her first name was pretti.

They didn’t make it to the alter but it was rather funny to think she
could have been called Pretti Love!

Maybe thats the reason they broke up.

 

[Miri]

Oh and then there was the married couple with the surname Mann.

They said if they had a son they would call him. Hugh or Andy. Honest!