C
Going back a few years, my friendship with James formulated through a bible study hosted by a mutual friend. James wasn't apart of our church and wasn't from the area. He moved here a few summers ago. He joined our network of friends and was a highly active member of his own church. Among us, he was a noted as a bible guru, living close to scripture. At the time I was a huge part of my church, it's young adults group and it's bible study. During those years, friends came and went and so did women in my life.
James, was one of them who stood out from the pack as someone who was interested in hanging out to open up about his life. During our first get together, we did a great deal of walking. He was single as was I. A few weeks later, we had a gathering with all sorts of friends at his place. A woman was there. A few weeks after that, he shared he was dating her after meeting her on an online dating site. I was going through a phase of dating several girls at church throughout the year, all going awry. During this time, James, elder of us, took a mentor role over me. I sought him for advice while his relationship with this woman grew. I got to see this whole thing play out. Throughout it, he offered me Christian books and CDs to educate me.
Before the year ended, they got engaged. I had a rough dating experience and a somber Christmas. The new year continued (a few years back still) and now many friends were getting engaged and ready to get married during the summer. James and fiance were one of them. I and a few friends were invited and attended that late summer.
That summer was an end of an era in many ways. I was getting away from Christian books and caring about church in general. I was tired of my church. I didn't see James for a while. That was until a new girl arrived at my church. We hit it off huge and it carried through the summer and fall well. Then seemingly around the end of the fall, things ended. James and I started going on walks again. This time, I was far more educated and experienced in life. James and I began disagreeing. It got to the point where I found it hard to believe he was actually married. He'd seem so foreign to things I was saying about women and dating. I had built up such an education that he was literally beating down everything I was saying.
The next year became all about trusting your instincts. Sure, James was my mentor, but I knew what I was experiencing and knew it was real. He kept sticking to the book and didn't want to read and react. I didn't see James half as much now and when we did, the disagreements grew. When I'd be over his house, his wife wasn't happy to see me. She'd even lecture him through wispers before we'd go hang out. He'd grow apologetic. When we did walk, he'd complain about how she acts. Then go on talking about how you're supposed to be as a Christian living a godly relationship. On the way home from a church trip, James and I had a major disagreement. So deep, that his two close friends, didn't even take his side but mine, agreeing with me word for word. James pressed me on the fact that he was married and I wasn't. I knew it didn't trump the reality of what really goes on in life. I've seen ugly people married and gorgeous people single. It means nothing either way.
I only hung out with him a few more times that year and finally saw him once this year. When I did see him this year, he shared of how his wife left after just over a year of marriage. As expected, he's still taking it hard half a year later and refuses to file for divorce. He believes she'll come to her senses and return. Despite, all the harsh ways she's treated him. Despite, her leaving him multiple times.
Our most recent meetup, was different, he wasn't so lecture driven and almost struggled to explain his dismal situation to me. It was like, inside he knew, I was dead on and always was dead on.
James, was one of them who stood out from the pack as someone who was interested in hanging out to open up about his life. During our first get together, we did a great deal of walking. He was single as was I. A few weeks later, we had a gathering with all sorts of friends at his place. A woman was there. A few weeks after that, he shared he was dating her after meeting her on an online dating site. I was going through a phase of dating several girls at church throughout the year, all going awry. During this time, James, elder of us, took a mentor role over me. I sought him for advice while his relationship with this woman grew. I got to see this whole thing play out. Throughout it, he offered me Christian books and CDs to educate me.
Before the year ended, they got engaged. I had a rough dating experience and a somber Christmas. The new year continued (a few years back still) and now many friends were getting engaged and ready to get married during the summer. James and fiance were one of them. I and a few friends were invited and attended that late summer.
That summer was an end of an era in many ways. I was getting away from Christian books and caring about church in general. I was tired of my church. I didn't see James for a while. That was until a new girl arrived at my church. We hit it off huge and it carried through the summer and fall well. Then seemingly around the end of the fall, things ended. James and I started going on walks again. This time, I was far more educated and experienced in life. James and I began disagreeing. It got to the point where I found it hard to believe he was actually married. He'd seem so foreign to things I was saying about women and dating. I had built up such an education that he was literally beating down everything I was saying.
The next year became all about trusting your instincts. Sure, James was my mentor, but I knew what I was experiencing and knew it was real. He kept sticking to the book and didn't want to read and react. I didn't see James half as much now and when we did, the disagreements grew. When I'd be over his house, his wife wasn't happy to see me. She'd even lecture him through wispers before we'd go hang out. He'd grow apologetic. When we did walk, he'd complain about how she acts. Then go on talking about how you're supposed to be as a Christian living a godly relationship. On the way home from a church trip, James and I had a major disagreement. So deep, that his two close friends, didn't even take his side but mine, agreeing with me word for word. James pressed me on the fact that he was married and I wasn't. I knew it didn't trump the reality of what really goes on in life. I've seen ugly people married and gorgeous people single. It means nothing either way.
I only hung out with him a few more times that year and finally saw him once this year. When I did see him this year, he shared of how his wife left after just over a year of marriage. As expected, he's still taking it hard half a year later and refuses to file for divorce. He believes she'll come to her senses and return. Despite, all the harsh ways she's treated him. Despite, her leaving him multiple times.
Our most recent meetup, was different, he wasn't so lecture driven and almost struggled to explain his dismal situation to me. It was like, inside he knew, I was dead on and always was dead on.
