I have never had tons of friends. I am an ISFJ personality type, it takes a while for me to open up to people. I’m usually on the side of things, and okay with just listening. Throughout my life, even though I have never had tons of friends, I’ve had 1-3 best friends always. Going through High School, I had 1 Best Friend Jay. We would always talk and spend time together, not constantly but when we needed to. Sometimes I would have one or two other best friends, but I would always have him to be there when the other friendships ended.
Three months after we graduated, he started dating this girl, (now they are married a few years later) which started the decline of us spending time together and talking. To the point where we only see each other every 1-6 months.
However, around the time Jay started dating the girl, I began to really get to know Patrick, this guy from my church. We became Best friends. We talked a ton, and hung out quite frequently, he was able to fill the role that Jay began to leave. This lasted for 3ish years, which brings us to the almost present. In September, he moved across the world to go to Bible school. I thought this would be fine, but as I have been thinking about it, it won’t be the same when he gets back.
Just under a month ago, he let he know that he started dating someone. I’m now afraid that the same thing is going to happen with Patrick that it did with Jay. I’ve already kinda been without a best friend seeing as we haven’t talked that much since September, and I’ve only now realized the toll it has had on me.
I have tried making friends at college, but this has been unsuccessful. The person I will never be able to have a deep relationship with the person I am closest to at college, because I can’t go 5 sentences without him interrupting and talking about himself… With Jay and Pat, there was always a give and take because we deeply cared about each other. It feels selfish to say, but I want a best friend who cares about me like that.
I dunno… this is the first time I have been without having even 1 Best friend. I’m not really sure why I am posting this, although it does feel good to finally put it down somewhere.
Three months after we graduated, he started dating this girl, (now they are married a few years later) which started the decline of us spending time together and talking. To the point where we only see each other every 1-6 months.
However, around the time Jay started dating the girl, I began to really get to know Patrick, this guy from my church. We became Best friends. We talked a ton, and hung out quite frequently, he was able to fill the role that Jay began to leave. This lasted for 3ish years, which brings us to the almost present. In September, he moved across the world to go to Bible school. I thought this would be fine, but as I have been thinking about it, it won’t be the same when he gets back.
Just under a month ago, he let he know that he started dating someone. I’m now afraid that the same thing is going to happen with Patrick that it did with Jay. I’ve already kinda been without a best friend seeing as we haven’t talked that much since September, and I’ve only now realized the toll it has had on me.
I have tried making friends at college, but this has been unsuccessful. The person I will never be able to have a deep relationship with the person I am closest to at college, because I can’t go 5 sentences without him interrupting and talking about himself… With Jay and Pat, there was always a give and take because we deeply cared about each other. It feels selfish to say, but I want a best friend who cares about me like that.
I dunno… this is the first time I have been without having even 1 Best friend. I’m not really sure why I am posting this, although it does feel good to finally put it down somewhere.
that's what I did when my friends started to vanish