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Thread: Men and sex addiction struggles

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    Default Men and sex addiction struggles

    What scriptures or therapy has worked for you guy to overcome this addiction. Porn, chatrooms etc? Thanks!!

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    Senior Member PennEd's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    This man's book, Eyes of Honor, is about as helpful and Spiritual an answer that I have ever come across. Here is a short video that summarizes it. Hope it helps:
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Thanks will def check out later

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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    It's addiction. Much like any other addiction reading a book or watching a video won't stop it. Accountability, filters and some counseling will be required if it's been around very long.
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    What allures and arouses the heart we can't figure out
    But it's the quickest way to account for what we prize
    And are most proud about
    These gods make promises but always lie to us
    The kinds of lies that says they'll keep us safe and satisfy us
    We blame the lies outside of us
    But it's the lie that lies inside that captures the depth of desires and false messiahs

    ~Beautiful Eulogy - Messiah~


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    Senior Member NoNameMcgee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    temptation in itself isnt sin

    it is when you entertain the lustful thoughts and day dream or fantasize it becomes sin

    then after you give into this you will try to manifest a way to feed your lusts


    1.2 Corinthians 10:5
    5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

    (when the temptation hits acknowledge it isnt of God)

    2.1 Thessalonians 5
    17 Pray without ceasing.

    (even in public you can pray to God in your head..... if temptation strikes your thoughts beg and plead with God to deliver you from them until they go away..... they will probably come back but then you need to pray again "without ceasing")

    3.Proverbs 24
    16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.

    4.
    1 John 2
    2 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous

    (if you fail remember God is forgiving but try again to rely on Him in your weakness and not yourself)

    5.james 1

    2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

    3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

    4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

    (be patient, God will provide growth if you are His child.... even if you mess up do not give up keep placing your faith in Him and dont feel like you need to get yourself "right" before you go back to Him..... RUSH to Him in the good or bad)


    6.
    sorry for the many verses man

    here is a few more

    hebrews 12
    6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

    7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

    8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

    9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

    10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

    11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

    (if you are His child already and choose to sin He will chasten you..... there will be things that happen in order to teach you many lessons... if you keep messing up then you see many new trials in your life.... dont get upset because youre "trying so hard" and nothings going right..... just rely on God... endure in faith and cling to Him at all times and in time... you will see the evidence He has been at work in you)



    7. last one
    Philippians 1

    6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
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    Philippians 3:9
    9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith

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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Thanks he really hit home on dividing the lies from truths as Jesus sees us as how satan does. Both have agendas for us. Watching this I realized why I ever started down this lonely path for so many years. I def have some work to do journaling etc. Thanks so much for sending this.
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    Senior Member PennEd's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by thedossman View Post
    Thanks he really hit home on dividing the lies from truths as Jesus sees us as how satan does. Both have agendas for us. Watching this I realized why I ever started down this lonely path for so many years. I def have some work to do journaling etc. Thanks so much for sending this.
    You're welcome. Avoiding the temptation of sin is not possible in this fallen world. I'm not recommending seeking it out, but although trying to avoid sin by trying to not be tempted, and accountability partners may have a small place in times of temptation, it is absolutely not the answer. In some ways, accountability partners is almost like taking part of the responsibility off of the person who is sinning. Not good. But they are valuable in the sense of praying for you.

    It is not the freedom Christ empowers us with to shun our eyes at a beach or pool with bikini clad women lest we have lustful thoughts.

    Like the alcoholic that now has no problem meeting friends at a bar because he has overcome the power of his addiction, the goal is to not let lustful temptations have any power as well. And I think this gentleman in the video has a fantastic, Spiritual approach to how this can happen
    Last edited by PennEd; 1 Week Ago at 07:29 AM.
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    Senior Member Desdichado's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Find a purpose. Find a woman. Find a couple good hobbies.

    Sinful sexual practices often trace back to inactivity and a lack of fulfillment. In this era anyhow.
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    We seek him here, we seek him there,
    Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.

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    Senior Member Lafftur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    I definitely recommend watching this video by Mark Gungor in it's entirety - all the way to the very end. He says excellent things and is so fun to watch!

    https://youtu.be/a9BJ7I33dqs

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    Senior Member zeroturbulence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by Desdichado View Post
    Find a purpose. Find a woman. Find a couple good hobbies.

    Sinful sexual practices often trace back to inactivity and a lack of fulfillment. In this era anyhow.
    That is the best and most sound advice I've ever seen on this topic..


    He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
    Proverbs 18:22
    Last edited by zeroturbulence; 1 Week Ago at 12:43 PM.
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    My dad was the greatest dad I could have ever asked for. Thank you, Dad..

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    Quote Originally Posted by loverofjesus27 View Post
    Who owns this site? Why is it bad to have fun?? And where is Harpy Eagle ??

    Quote Originally Posted by joefizz View Post
    Milk talk who in the land of taco are you posting to?

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    Senior Member Desdichado's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Very high praise. Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by zeroturbulence View Post
    That is the best and most sound advice I've ever seen on this topic..


    He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
    Proverbs 18:22
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    We seek him here, we seek him there,
    Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.

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    Senior Member seoulsearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by Desdichado View Post
    Find a purpose. Find a woman. Find a couple good hobbies.

    Sinful sexual practices often trace back to inactivity and a lack of fulfillment. In this era anyhow.
    Quote Originally Posted by zeroturbulence View Post
    That is the best and most sound advice I've ever seen on this topic..


    He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
    Proverbs 18:22
    I understand that marrying is a good thing, but I know that if a guy said something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I have a sex addiction, and I've got my eye on marrying you as a means of coping with it," I would run in the other direction before he could even finish the sentence. I'd be all for trying to cheer him on and pray for him as a friend, but I would be concerned about being the means through which someone would be trying to legalize their addiction.

    I get that marriage was designed by God to be an outlet for sexual desires and feelings, and I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people who marry in order to cope with an addiction to sexual feelings find themselves greatly disappointed.

    Granted, I would love to post a poll in the Family Forum that asked, "Did Getting Married Cure Your Sex Addiction Problem?" but I'm guessing that wouldn't be deemed appropriate for this forum (as is the case with many of the questions I wish I could ask on CC.)

    I could be wrong, but I think that unless the root issues are dealt with before getting married, there is a danger of trying to turn a potential spouse into one's own version of a live sex toy, and that will cause any marriage to disintegrate very quickly.
    If it feels like you can't feel anything, are you still feeling something?


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    Senior Member Desdichado's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Notice how I didn't float marriage alone.

    Sexual sin is multi-dimensional. Marriage is the proper outlet for those urges, but a man so lost in sexual sin that he's unmarriageable has other issues that need addressing. They can certainly be dealt with while dating.

    Quote Originally Posted by seoulsearch View Post
    I understand that marrying is a good thing, but I know that if a guy said something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I have a sex addiction, and I've got my eye on marrying you as a means of coping with it," I would run in the other direction before he could even finish the sentence. I'd be all for trying to cheer him on and pray for him as a friend, but I would be concerned about being the means through which someone would be trying to legalize their addiction.

    I get that marriage was designed by God to be an outlet for sexual desires and feelings, and I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people who marry in order to cope with an addiction to sexual feelings find themselves greatly disappointed.

    Granted, I would love to post a poll in the Family Forum that asked, "Did Getting Married Cure Your Sex Addiction Problem?" but I'm guessing that wouldn't be deemed appropriate for this forum (as is the case with many of the questions I wish I could ask on CC.)

    I could be wrong, but I think that unless the root issues are dealt with before getting married, there is a danger of trying to turn a potential spouse into one's own version of a live sex toy, and that will cause any marriage to disintegrate very quickly.
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    We seek him here, we seek him there,
    Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.

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    Senior Member zeroturbulence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by seoulsearch View Post
    I understand that marrying is a good thing, but I know that if a guy said something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I have a sex addiction, and I've got my eye on marrying you as a means of coping with it," I would run in the other direction before he could even finish the sentence. I'd be all for trying to cheer him on and pray for him as a friend, but I would be concerned about being the means through which someone would be trying to legalize their addiction.

    I get that marriage was designed by God to be an outlet for sexual desires and feelings, and I could be wrong, but I think a lot of people who marry in order to cope with an addiction to sexual feelings find themselves greatly disappointed.

    Granted, I would love to post a poll in the Family Forum that asked, "Did Getting Married Cure Your Sex Addiction Problem?" but I'm guessing that wouldn't be deemed appropriate for this forum (as is the case with many of the questions I wish I could ask on CC.)

    I could be wrong, but I think that unless the root issues are dealt with before getting married, there is a danger of trying to turn a potential spouse into one's own version of a live sex toy, and that will cause any marriage to disintegrate very quickly.
    But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
    (1 Corinthians 7:9 NIV)

    Of course one shouldn't just grab the nearest woman and marry her... or maybe that's what we've all been doing wrong! But I think the point is that one should focus their mind on looking for a life partner instead of on taming their urges... (if that even makes sense )
    Last edited by zeroturbulence; 1 Week Ago at 02:15 PM.
    My dad was the greatest dad I could have ever asked for. Thank you, Dad..

    "If you talk about scripture more than you talk about God, then you've missed the point".
    - A Retired Minister
    Quote Originally Posted by loverofjesus27 View Post
    Who owns this site? Why is it bad to have fun?? And where is Harpy Eagle ??

    Quote Originally Posted by joefizz View Post
    Milk talk who in the land of taco are you posting to?

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    Senior Member seoulsearch's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by zeroturbulence View Post
    But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
    (1 Corinthians 7:9 NIV)

    Of course one shouldn't just grab the nearest woman and marry her... or maybe that's what we've all been doing wrong! But I think the point is that one should focus their mind on looking for a life partner instead of on taming their urges... (if that even makes sense )
    I totally understand what you're saying, Zero.

    As single people, we are told that verse at least once a week by people who try to counsel us in our state of singleness.

    But what I'm trying to say is that I think this gets misinterpreted as, "I NEED to find someone to marry... IN ORDER to tame, cure, or curb my porn/sex addiction," and that can be a very damaging motive.

    I always say that the best cure for singleness is to spend about a half hour reading the Family Forum, especially the threads about troubled marriages. I am convinced that in many cases, if you read between the lines, the couple involved got married because they were looking for a way to cure their own loneliness and wanting to have sex, and so they married a bit too early on in order to try to get to those things.

    I have often wanted to write a series of thread about whether or not these types of assumptions cause people to marry too early and for the wrong reasons, and whether or not it actually cured all the ills they thought that marriage was supposed to cure (for instance, "I Got Married and It Made Me Stop Looking at Porn!", "I Got Married And No Longer Feel Addicted to Sexual Things!", "I Got Married and NEVER Felt Lonely Again!", "I Got Married and Now My Self-Esteem is Through the Roof!", etc.)

    However, because all my questions would revolve around highly controversial (not to mention personal) subjects, I usually opt to refrain out of respect for this site and the people who work so hard to make it possible.
    Mel85 likes this.
    If it feels like you can't feel anything, are you still feeling something?


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    Senior Member melita916's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    If a person is addicted to sex/porn before marriage, those addictions will go with him/her in marriage. Maybe the addiction will “calm down” for a time because there’s an “outlet,” but soon, the person will go back to what the mind/body is used to.
    ~cheers~

    "I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me." -Psalm 13:6

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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Thanks everyone.
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    Senior Member Waggles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Quote Originally Posted by thedossman View Post
    What scriptures or therapy has worked for you guy to overcome this addiction. Porn, chatrooms etc? Thanks!!
    The fear of God and a love to do righteousness.
    Praying in tongues that is praying in the Holy Spirit;
    this prayer is powerful and cleansing with the Holy Spirit burning
    up sinful chaff.
    for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!
    1Corinthians 9:16

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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    Good evening as someone who from childhood had sex addictions, porn addictions, depression, and just addictions in general I certainly would like to say these thoughts, and lusts are always there, But Praise God who teaches us to die to self and live to Christ, I personally can say Gods word will change your thoughts, attitudes, and actions, and trusting in Him will produce results, Thank You Jesus! But there are small things that over the years have learned to do and will say if perchance it helps 1 person, thank God cause this struggle will cause alot of guilt and condemnation which are not of God, 1. The earliest thing I remember doing was avoiding girls altogether (not wise) it hinders relationship and growth, and hurts future relationships, stay positive! Gods there to help! Pray, and ask for help! what helped me (especially while sex was portrayed in tv) all the time was continuing to meditate on 2 Corinthians 10:5, We are destroying speculation and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and we are TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE TO THE OBÉDIENCE OF CHRIST, this wasnt a 1 time cure, everytime it came or comes up this scripture is go too! 2.If your tempted with your eyes and lust easily after body image look away! They are people not objects, why not instead look them in the eyes, nothing shuts down a bad thought quicker than someone staring right back at you, this is hard but some of my best conversations/friendships started by making eye contact not the other areas... And before you know it you know the person personally and the urge or lust just dissipates,3. If this area troubles you and you truly want to change, do it, for example your buddies having a movie night, all the movies have sex throughout, you can get up and do something else, you may get flack for it but only you can control you and the world would love to have you, luckily you are a child of God and you are not of this world, in it but not of it!!! It seems hard, it may be but if you want to live an awesome life you have to break the mold!! Ive literally ODd multiple times and blacked out acting stupid cause id rather have ppl in my life than be alone (follower) well I just never knew I wasnt alone!!!!! God loves us has promised never to leave us or forsake us, has promised that if we cry Out in trouble He will hear and deliver us, promise after promise after promise! God is good seek Him and you wont need to struggle along wondering why u keep giving in and cant break these problems, trust me He is faithful and true, He always leads you through, yay though I walk THROUGH the valley; they crossed THROUGH the Red sea on dry land, Jesus walked THROUGH the storm, THROUGH the crowds trying to stone Him, He doesnt hit a wall and stop WE do that, God will take you THROUGH if you believe! As I said if this helps even 1 person Praise God, Thank you for your time, God Bless and feel free to message me if anything resonates with you about this post! I love you all! God loves you! We love Him because He first loved us 1 John 4:19 Thank God for Jesus!
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    Senior Member Ugly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Men and sex addiction struggles

    If marriage stops porn addiction then why do we see so many married women coming here saying there husband is a porn addict?
    Porn addiction isn't sex addiction. Brain scans show porn addicts brains and heroin addicts brains are actually quite similar. Telling a porn addict to get married only means he'll take his addiction into the marriage.
    seoulsearch, Mel85 and Skylar like this.
    What allures and arouses the heart we can't figure out
    But it's the quickest way to account for what we prize
    And are most proud about
    These gods make promises but always lie to us
    The kinds of lies that says they'll keep us safe and satisfy us
    We blame the lies outside of us
    But it's the lie that lies inside that captures the depth of desires and false messiahs

    ~Beautiful Eulogy - Messiah~


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