Last sunday I woke and my soul was screaming It's church day, Like inside all I wanted to do was run to church and be in a room full of people doing the same thing.
I wanted to worship and pray and close my eyes and sing to my Lord.
At the same time my flesh wanted to stay in bed, took it's time to shower, struggled to get in the car.
I drove to the subway on my way there, still something in me telling me that I did not want to go. I ate my meal and went to the car.
I sat in my car for about 30 min until the clock hit 1200 midday when service starts, i started the car and drove back home.
I never made it to service.
It's like a fight between my spirit wanting and needing him and my body and flesh not moving, but staying still or running away.
When I pray my mind becomes blank. I know there is lots to be thankful for and I know there are people that could use my prayers , but yet my mind is blank and I have to force a thought or word.
I cry alot, and this might sound weird but crying somewhat soothes my soul .
It's like when your mother puts a bit of vix vapor rub on your nose and you smell a little better.
Please my Lord please, I need you to wake me up and hug me and talk to me and drag me to you if need be,but listen to me ...... I need you.
I wanted to worship and pray and close my eyes and sing to my Lord.
At the same time my flesh wanted to stay in bed, took it's time to shower, struggled to get in the car.
I drove to the subway on my way there, still something in me telling me that I did not want to go. I ate my meal and went to the car.
I sat in my car for about 30 min until the clock hit 1200 midday when service starts, i started the car and drove back home.
I never made it to service.
It's like a fight between my spirit wanting and needing him and my body and flesh not moving, but staying still or running away.
When I pray my mind becomes blank. I know there is lots to be thankful for and I know there are people that could use my prayers , but yet my mind is blank and I have to force a thought or word.
I cry alot, and this might sound weird but crying somewhat soothes my soul .
It's like when your mother puts a bit of vix vapor rub on your nose and you smell a little better.
Please my Lord please, I need you to wake me up and hug me and talk to me and drag me to you if need be,but listen to me ...... I need you.
