Beauty

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chelseawelsea

Guest
#1
I don't consider myself beautiful and I keep reminding myself that God thinks I'm beautiful but its hard because I'm short and on the heavier side and look more like a twelve year old than an eighteen year old. Guys don't even consider me a girlfriend but more as a best friend. I try to keep positive and that God loves me and thinks I'm beautiful but its hard. Its so hard being single for so long what do I do?
 
J

Jennifleur

Guest
#2
Ask God to allow you to see yourself through His eyes. I, too, struggle with these same issues (as do most women!). I was on the heavier side, and even still I struggle with seeing myself that way, even though others have told me that I am now thin. It's hard to break out of thinking of yourself that way, when you're used to being the "fat" one of the group. I've also had people tell me I'm pretty, but I've suffered with poor self-esteem for so long that it is sometimes difficult to believe them. I look like I'm 15 and I'll be 26 soon. But, with time, God has shown me that I am beautiful, by allowing me to see myself the way that He sees me. He created every fiber of our beings, and He also looks past the outward appearance and into the heart. Remember, there was nothing about Jesus that was comely or attractive, either. And, I know it's a cliche, but beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I've seen some women that I thought weren't all that attractive, with guys flocking around them. It is partly confidence that these women exuded, and partly the fact that these men were truly attracted to these women. Guys have different tastes. I've heard many guys say that they are not attracted to thin, stick-figure, boyish-figured women, but rather women who actually look like women and have curves.

God made you, and He made you lovely. The world may tell you otherwise, but the world belongs to Satan, and he is the father of lies. God is truth, and He sees you as beautiful. :)
 
Apr 13, 2007
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#3
You're beautifully,fearfully, and wonderfully made by HIM! Check out the video link I have on my signature on here! It's called ''A More Beautiful You'' I found it on youtube one day,someone made the video for a class of theirs, it's AMAZING! God bless.
 

jangel

Senior Member
May 12, 2010
487
2
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#4
hey, what’s with being single your still 18, at that age I wasn’t even thinking of having relationship yet, well I guess because at that time my dad won’t allow us yet with my sister:D but girl if you think and keep telling yourself you’re ugly, then you really are but if you’ll think you’re pretty then yes, you are! Everytime you wake up and look yourself in the mirror, say it to yourself, I’m pretty! Even you don’t have the height that you desire be happy and thankful that you’re a normal person, you can walk … you can see …you can do anything you want, and people love you! Learn to appreciate every single thing you have, you have so much to thank for than to look for.
 
Apr 13, 2007
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#5
jangel;338969if you think and keep telling yourself you’re ugly said:
That's rather rude and it's untrue. No matter what we or anyone else think,feel, or tell ourselves or others may tell us, that does NOT make us ugly. Maybe the attitude and/or thought pattern is ''ugly'' as in it's negative and not uplifting, but she is NOT ugly just because she thinks so. There's always a reason, usually a very deep rooted reason for others feeling that way. EVERY single person in the world feels they're ''ugly'' at times. We ALL have those off days. We should show compassion,love,etc. and be uplifting and encouraging in everything we say. I know the rest of what you said, as far as ''if you think you're beautiful then you are'' was meant to help, but telling someone if they think and keep telling theirself they're ugly then they are doesn't help anything. We have to choose words carefully, and ask the Lord to let the Holy Spirit speak for us, to utter perfect words on our behalf.
 
L

lilalila

Guest
#6
We are all made by God and so every one of us is beautiful!

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14
 
S

sportygirl

Guest
#7
God does find us all beautiful and its something that all women struggle with, we are our own worst critics thats for sure. No matter what height or size you we will find something about ourselves to look at as a negative attribute to themselves.

Here's a beautiful song called More Beautiful you by Johnny Diaz
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

(CHORUS)
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you'll do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

(CHORUS)

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

(CHORUS)
There could never be a more beautiful you


And when it comes to not having a boyfriend at 18, thats ok I didnt have my first boyfriend till I was 19. I was glad I waited that long (possibly i should have waited longer). Patience in this area is a good thing, and being friends with guys is also a good thing! :) Thats the best way to start with a boyfriend I learned I wasnt good friends with my ex, before we started dating adn we never became good friends. My goal now is to be friends. And about looking 12, im 20 and still look 15 most of the time! so its a good thing or at least so they tell me cause than when your old you'll still look young!!
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#8
I think this is largely caused by society's pressure that women look like supermodels, which comes through all forms of media, and of course the individual. I feel that males should be the ones trying to fight against it. Instead the majority, and myself at times, seem to just let it happen. If not promote it in ways.

A friend of mine and I were speaking about this last Thursday, and she had written a paper on the subject, for her school in Philadeplhia. She mailed me part of it.


There is a crisis among teenage girls when it comes to self-concept regarding their body images. When surveyed about their weight, most teenage girls considered themselves overweight (Gibbons 1). Their ideal weight was that of supermodels and thin Hollywood actresses. Nanci Hellmich, of USA Today, says, “Psychologists and eating disorder experts are worried about the same thing. They say the fashion industry has gone too far in pushing a dangerously thin image that women, and even young girls, may try to emulate” (Hellmich 1). The media surrounds us, whether in the form of television, movies, videos or novels and magazines. The media’s portrayal of body image promotes unrealistic perceptions of beauty, damages teenage girls’ self esteem, and makes them feel inadequate in comparison to others. Pushing images of slender and thinner women takes a crucial toll on the health of teenage girls



As a male, I feel I am partly to blame, as I have contributed to the overall scheme. I think it is up to every one of us to re-define what "beauty" is. I personally, am in the opinion, that "beauty" is not "sex appeal". The two concepts should never be combined. I think as a society we need to learn to accept each other, not based on outward appearance, but otherwise. Although, who am I to say what to do?

I personally don't care for the barbie doll look.

Just my thoughts, probably less than necessary, if not unwanted.
 
Apr 13, 2007
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#9
That's the song that plays in the link in my signature. Such a wonderful song! Very true one :)


Here's a beautiful song called More Beautiful you by Johnny Diaz
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

(CHORUS)
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you'll do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

(CHORUS)

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

(CHORUS)
There could never be a more beautiful you


And when it comes to not having a boyfriend at 18, thats ok I didnt have my first boyfriend till I was 19. I was glad I waited that long (possibly i should have waited longer). Patience in this area is a good thing, and being friends with guys is also a good thing! :) Thats the best way to start with a boyfriend I learned I wasnt good friends with my ex, before we started dating adn we never became good friends. My goal now is to be friends. And about looking 12, im 20 and still look 15 most of the time! so its a good thing or at least so they tell me cause than when your old you'll still look young!!
 
J

Jennifleur

Guest
#10
I think this is largely caused by society's pressure that women look like supermodels, which comes through all forms of media, and of course the individual. I feel that males should be the ones trying to fight against it. Instead the majority, and myself at times, seem to just let it happen. If not promote it in ways.

A friend of mine and I were speaking about this last Thursday, and she had written a paper on the subject, for her school in Philadeplhia. She mailed me part of it.







As a male, I feel I am partly to blame, as I have contributed to the overall scheme. I think it is up to every one of us to re-define what "beauty" is. I personally, am in the opinion, that "beauty" is not "sex appeal". The two concepts should never be combined. I think as a society we need to learn to accept each other, not based on outward appearance, but otherwise. Although, who am I to say what to do?

I personally don't care for the barbie doll look.

Just my thoughts, probably less than necessary, if not unwanted.
Actually, I think it is good to have a guy's perspective, and I'd love to hear other guys weigh in. The thing is, many women believe that men want just exactly that - the barbie doll look. That is what both men and women are taught is desirable. Most women today are aspiring to be something that will be impossible to achieve, and real beauty is underappreciated at best and completely unappreciated at worst. If we have Godly men step up and tell women that they should be themselves and let the beauty of Christ shine through them, then maybe we can begin to fight back against media stereotypes and the attacks on self-esteem and self-worth perpetrated by society. Women are taught on the one hand that they must deny their femininity and be strong, almost masculine (read: feminist) to make it in this world, and then on the other hand women are taught that their only worth is in their physical beauty and most of us don't make the cut. We need to find a balance, in which we realize that we can be strong and capable, without having to give up what makes us women and without having to take over the roles that men have always been meant to hold. In the end, it all boils down to Satan trying to mess things up; if he can throw things into confusion, it keeps us from truly being a force for change in this world, from who we are meant to be in Christ.

But, again, thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#11
But, again, thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)

Wow, not the response I expected. I suppose I shouldn't have judged the topic too early. I was hessitant to post, because I was afraid I'd get E-slapped on a topic like this.


I saw this Dove commercial a year or two back, and I was very impressed by it. You would think Dove would want it the opposite of what their views are implied to be.


YouTube - Dove Onslaught HIGH DEFINITION
 

jangel

Senior Member
May 12, 2010
487
2
0
#12
That's rather rude and it's untrue. No matter what we or anyone else think,feel, or tell ourselves or others may tell us, that does NOT make us ugly. Maybe the attitude and/or thought pattern is ''ugly'' as in it's negative and not uplifting, but she is NOT ugly just because she thinks so. There's always a reason, usually a very deep rooted reason for others feeling that way. EVERY single person in the world feels they're ''ugly'' at times. We ALL have those off days. We should show compassion,love,etc. and be uplifting and encouraging in everything we say. I know the rest of what you said, as far as ''if you think you're beautiful then you are'' was meant to help, but telling someone if they think and keep telling theirself they're ugly then they are doesn't help anything. We have to choose words carefully, and ask the Lord to let the Holy Spirit speak for us, to utter perfect words on our behalf.

Mmm, do I have to explain myself into this :D
I’m not trying to be rude what I’m trying to say is, if you’re not feeling good about yourself it will show in the outside, am not referring physically, it's something to do with your aura, but if you feel good inside even if you’re not pretty physically, there’s something in you that will catch attention.:)
 

jangel

Senior Member
May 12, 2010
487
2
0
#13
I won’t say all good things just to make someone feel good, even all of us here in cc will say to her that she is pretty and wonderfully made but when she looks herself in the mirror and see herself not the way she wanted to I don’t think those words would be of any help to her. Nobody is ugly, but if you think you are, then you are ugly! ‘coz you’re making yourself ugly!
Is it a big deal calling yourself ugly? My bestfriend and I are even calling each other ugly! :D I know a lot of times we don’t feel good about ourselves , I do often call myself ugly when I look myself in the mirror but know what I do …I breathe and smile and say to myself , no… I’m pretty!, even if it’s not true physically , who cares?!, as long as I feel I am! The only one who can make you miserable is yourself and the only one who can get you out of that is yourself...it’s all in the mind.
 
J

Jennifleur

Guest
#14
Wow, not the response I expected. I suppose I shouldn't have judged the topic too early. I was hessitant to post, because I was afraid I'd get E-slapped on a topic like this.


I saw this Dove commercial a year or two back, and I was very impressed by it. You would think Dove would want it the opposite of what their views are implied to be.


YouTube - Dove Onslaught HIGH DEFINITION
Wow, I had never seen that Dove commercial before. It's not as subtle as their others. But that is one of the things I appreciate most about Dove. Most products, whether it's makeup, shampoo, or even soap, try to sell themselves on the fact that they will make you glamorous (I mean, soap, really? It's soap!). But Dove ads have, for several years now, featured women that are beautiful, but are real. Young, old, thin, curvaceous, dark, pale, freckled... I applaud Dove for their self-esteem fund, and they make a good point in the commercial you showed. If parents do not instill a sense of self-worth and real beauty in their daughters from an early age, it won't take long for them to get the other message from the media.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#15
I don't consider myself beautiful and I keep reminding myself that God thinks I'm beautiful but its hard because I'm short and on the heavier side and look more like a twelve year old than an eighteen year old. Guys don't even consider me a girlfriend but more as a best friend. I try to keep positive and that God loves me and thinks I'm beautiful but its hard. Its so hard being single for so long what do I do?

I can definitely relate to the lookin like your 12 part. Im 27 and i have people ask me if i go to their high school. Anyways, i know its hard now days to feel pretty or like your anything of worth. Especially when you have media screaming at you to look a certain way. However this is my stand on things. If there is something you dont like about yourself. Try and change it within reason.. You said your on the heavier side. If you dont like that, and it really upsets you then try losing weight. If you have acne, go to a dermatologist, do you get where im goin with this???

I know its hard being single. Im there myself right now. I wish there was something i could say or tell you to make you feel better about it all, but do know i relate to what your sayin and i know exactly where your comin from, especially with the self esteem part.
 
G

greatkraw

Guest
#16
I can definitely relate to the lookin like your 12 part. Im 27 and i have people ask me if i go to their high school. Anyways, i know its hard now days to feel pretty or like your anything of worth. Especially when you have media screaming at you to look a certain way. However this is my stand on things. If there is something you dont like about yourself. Try and change it within reason.. You said your on the heavier side. If you dont like that, and it really upsets you then try losing weight. If you have acne, go to a dermatologist, do you get where im goin with this???

I know its hard being single. Im there myself right now. I wish there was something i could say or tell you to make you feel better about it all, but do know i relate to what your sayin and i know exactly where your comin from, especially with the self esteem part.
you know girsl

you busy listening to what media says

you might ask guys what they think

guys are less demanding than media and other women
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#17
One interesting thing I did find, is that Dove is owned by Unilver, who ownes Axe. Maybe they should change their Axe commercials too? I don't much like the Axe commercials myself.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#18
Axe smells good
 
J

Jennifleur

Guest
#19
I agree. I hate the Axe commercials. But, if it's one thing that all of these companies have learned over the years, it's that sex sells.
 
J

Joshua2417

Guest
#20
you know girsl

you busy listening to what media says

you might ask guys what they think

guys are less demanding than media and other women

I agree i am very less demanding on looks compared to the media....then again i'm more looking for whats on the inside then out. but even when i was a non christian i was never that much into outer looks when it came to a relationship with someone. looks always change but the person on the inside is who you will always be dealing with. an if you love the person for who they are on the inside then the outside will reflect what you see. i have know all types of women. the ones that model themselfs after these models and and stuff on tv and movie actresses. tend to not be even close to being beautiful to me. they end up shallow, empty people that have nothing in them but worries of apperance. which isn't attractive in my books. anyways starving yourself and putting ones body through what they do is very unhealthy an diffently not Godly. So my opinion stay yourself always, worry not and trust in the Lord. stop listening to the world tell you how to be, becuase we all know that the world, sin and everything not of God lies.