Hello, fellow singles!!
As many of you know, I try to make people smile with my titles.
When I was in high school, I had to write a paper that discussed an experiment we had done with electricity which I entitled, "Watt a Switch!!" I was very surprised when the teacher gave me bonus points just for the title alone, and so it became a regular habit, for which you now all have to suffer .
I was wondering... how many of you out there seem to be plagued with the gift of total and utter clumsiness? (Maybe it's not so much a gift but rather the absolute lack of coordination.) If the guy for me happens to be a sports-lover, I will happily cheer him on and take an interest in his favorite teams (though I might be the one yelling "Touchdown!" at the baseball game), but he will have to understand that not only was I born with two left feet, but also, two left arms, two left ears, and apparently, two left thumbs and nostrils as well.
For all of you who were hoping to read a juicy tale of Seoulsearch duking it out with other party-going patrons, I am sorry to disappoint. What actually happened is that I was shopping with a friend, happened to turn around, and WHOA!!! almost walked straight into an empty clothes rack that was about up to my forehead (because there was nothing hanging from it, the silver frame blended right in with the rest of the background.)
It was a very narrow miss... and I couldn't help but laugh to myself and think, "HA!!! I just about walked right into a bar... literally!!!"
Other times, I am not so lucky. In just the past few weeks I have:
-- Almost brushed my teeth with Icy Hot Pain Relief Cream instead of toothpaste... perhaps I have one too many products in my personal hygiene basket... (If I dare to be REALLY honest about this... I will have to admit that I have nearly made this mistake twice, so yes, I think I need to move the Icy Hot to the medicine cabinet, pronto.)
-- Ran into a corn crate at work (the wooden crates they ship corn in--I was stacking some boxes and walked right into the corner of the crate, giving myself a nice little scrape at the temple.)
-- Stabbed myself with a fork (bad enough to have to wear a band-aid for 3 days) while trying to cut off a piece of partially frozen butter to make my beloved fettucine alfredo--and you thought just the fat and calories were dangerous!!) I told a friend of mine I obviously can't be trusted with kitchen utensils... I guess I'll have to resort to being allowed only dull, plastic spoons (you know, like in prison.)
-- Nearly walked out the door for work without leder hosen (those would be pants, in English)--I was just in a hurry, trying to put away laundry and was getting dressed as the pieces came out of the dryer, but apparently, I missed something... seeing as I was actually tying my shoes and thought to myself, "Uh, something just isn't right here."
There have been times when I've actually asked God to please rescue me from my own stupidity, but alas... sometimes I wonder if maybe He needs a little extra amusement now and then.
All right, everybody... please tell me I'm not the only one!!! If you are a model of perfect coordination, you can feel free to tell us what it's like (I for one would be interested in hearing what life is like "on the other side.")
And for anyone else who isn't blessed with that kind of ability... What things have you done out of sheer absent-mindedness or clumsiness? How did you or the people around you react, and what did you do to save yourself from the embarrassment? (I guess that's one good thing about being alone all the time... no potential witnesses!)
Thanks for sharing, and... are you SURE that's really toothpaste that you're brushing your teeth with?! (Believe me, I am making it a point to double-check from now on!!)
As many of you know, I try to make people smile with my titles.
When I was in high school, I had to write a paper that discussed an experiment we had done with electricity which I entitled, "Watt a Switch!!" I was very surprised when the teacher gave me bonus points just for the title alone, and so it became a regular habit, for which you now all have to suffer . I was wondering... how many of you out there seem to be plagued with the gift of total and utter clumsiness? (Maybe it's not so much a gift but rather the absolute lack of coordination.) If the guy for me happens to be a sports-lover, I will happily cheer him on and take an interest in his favorite teams (though I might be the one yelling "Touchdown!" at the baseball game), but he will have to understand that not only was I born with two left feet, but also, two left arms, two left ears, and apparently, two left thumbs and nostrils as well.
For all of you who were hoping to read a juicy tale of Seoulsearch duking it out with other party-going patrons, I am sorry to disappoint. What actually happened is that I was shopping with a friend, happened to turn around, and WHOA!!! almost walked straight into an empty clothes rack that was about up to my forehead (because there was nothing hanging from it, the silver frame blended right in with the rest of the background.)
It was a very narrow miss... and I couldn't help but laugh to myself and think, "HA!!! I just about walked right into a bar... literally!!!"
Other times, I am not so lucky. In just the past few weeks I have:
-- Almost brushed my teeth with Icy Hot Pain Relief Cream instead of toothpaste... perhaps I have one too many products in my personal hygiene basket... (If I dare to be REALLY honest about this... I will have to admit that I have nearly made this mistake twice, so yes, I think I need to move the Icy Hot to the medicine cabinet, pronto.)
-- Ran into a corn crate at work (the wooden crates they ship corn in--I was stacking some boxes and walked right into the corner of the crate, giving myself a nice little scrape at the temple.)
-- Stabbed myself with a fork (bad enough to have to wear a band-aid for 3 days) while trying to cut off a piece of partially frozen butter to make my beloved fettucine alfredo--and you thought just the fat and calories were dangerous!!) I told a friend of mine I obviously can't be trusted with kitchen utensils... I guess I'll have to resort to being allowed only dull, plastic spoons (you know, like in prison.)
-- Nearly walked out the door for work without leder hosen (those would be pants, in English)--I was just in a hurry, trying to put away laundry and was getting dressed as the pieces came out of the dryer, but apparently, I missed something... seeing as I was actually tying my shoes and thought to myself, "Uh, something just isn't right here."
There have been times when I've actually asked God to please rescue me from my own stupidity, but alas... sometimes I wonder if maybe He needs a little extra amusement now and then.
All right, everybody... please tell me I'm not the only one!!! If you are a model of perfect coordination, you can feel free to tell us what it's like (I for one would be interested in hearing what life is like "on the other side.")
And for anyone else who isn't blessed with that kind of ability... What things have you done out of sheer absent-mindedness or clumsiness? How did you or the people around you react, and what did you do to save yourself from the embarrassment? (I guess that's one good thing about being alone all the time... no potential witnesses!
)Thanks for sharing, and... are you SURE that's really toothpaste that you're brushing your teeth with?!
(Believe me, I am making it a point to double-check from now on!!)